But Gray shook his head again. “Not right now, man. I think I’m gonna rest a while.”
“Even better. Go on. I’m gonna hit the shower.”
Rafe held his smile until Gray was gone, then blew out a rough breath and turned. Instead of heading for the showers, he descended to the basement. Only one corner of the vast space was finished, with bare light fixtures affixed to the naked cement columns and a thin mat laid out on the floor.
Prioritizing a workout room seemed silly with so much else to build, not to mention virtually unlimited access to the state-of-the-art training room next door. But sometimes Rafe needed solitude and physical release.
The heavy bag was a special design, meant to withstand the punishment dealt by someone with biochemical enhancements. Rafe took his time taping his hands, trying not to think of how raw Dani’s knuckles would be by now. Maya would stop her. He had to believe that.
All he could do was work off the tension and find his center. Knox was going to need him in the days ahead, and Rafe would be ready.
He always was.
July 7th, 2073
Marjorie is truly remarkable, and I am terrified for her.
No one understands how unprecedented her cognitive processing abilities are. Most data couriers are mimics, retrieving the things they’ve heard by rote. Marjorie breathes in knowledge and makes it part of her. It’s likely she would have been an extraordinary mind without the genetic enhancement. With it …
I’ve done my best to shield her from the curiosity of the scientists by administering her ten- and eleven-year benchmark aptitude tests myself and logging false results. It’s within my purview as the VP of Behavior to oversee testing, but it’s an oddity that will draw attention eventually.
To keep her safe, I must clip her wings. If they realize how swiftly she’s outstripped their expectations, they’ll take her apart to find out why.
I have to teach her fear.
The Recovered Journal of Birgitte Skovgaard
EIGHT
Six hours after her tense moment with Gray in the warehouse, Maya was still jacked up on adrenaline. The world seemed too bright and her skin felt tight, and it was a miracle neither Nina nor Dani had called her on it yet.
Maya was pretty sure her reprieve was almost up.
Dani probably wouldn’t be the one to notice. Maya had talked her out of beating her hands to a pulp against the heavy bag, but Dani hadn’t stopped trying to vent her feelings through movement. Instead of her usual spot sprawled across the foot of Nina’s bed, she was on the floor doing fluid, effortless push-ups.
Maya stopped counting after two hundred.
Nina had fallen into bed for a far-too-brief nap only at Knox’s firm urging, but as soon as he’d gotten up to check on his men, so had she. The tension lingering in her eyes hurt Maya’s heart, all the more because Nina had taken up her usual position: cross-legged on the edge of the bed, her elbows braced on her knees, her whole body leaning forward in active engagement.
When Nina listened to someone, she did it with her whole being.
That was why Maya was screwed. She’d broken open a new bottle of nail polish to give her something to do with her restless hands, but staring at her thumb as she painstakingly applied the shimmery chromatic silver would only let her avoid Nina’s gaze for so long. “So I sent the girl to Dr. Wells. He already left a message. He took care of the abortion and got her a real contraceptive implant.”
“Good.” Nina tilted her head.
Maya kept her gaze firmly on her fingernails. “It feels like for every one of these assholes we chase out of the neighborhood, two more are popping up.”
“When Knox finishes the clinic, it’ll help a lot.” Nina touched her shoulder lightly. “People only visit these places because they have no other options. That’s going to change very soon.”
Nina could sense something was off. Maya charged ahead anyway, even knowing her voice was too bright. Too fast. “I told the girl she could pay me back by chopping vegetables, but I might see how she does with the scanner. That’d free Tai up to get back to helping with people who come in. And maybe if Emeline is good at it, we could hire her. Digitizing that catalog—”
“Maya.”
She swallowed back the frantic babble of words. “I’m fine. I swear I’m fine. It’s just … It’s been a weird day. I’m in a weird headspace.”
Dani paused mid-push-up. “That’s one word for it.”
“Excuse me?”
“You. Gray.” Dani flipped over and landed on her back with a grunt. Then she grinned. “That’s what’s up, right?”
So much for Dani not noticing.
“Dani,” Nina murmured.
“What? Tell me I’m wrong, because I know I’m not.”
Her grin was so open. So easy. To Dani, attraction was easy. If she found someone hot, she went for it. Sex was like a sport for Dani—athletic, occasionally competitive, and probably a little dangerous. Her flings lasted for a night or a week but rarely longer. And nothing about the activity required her vulnerability.
“It’s hard for me,” Maya whispered, carefully twisting the top back onto the nail polish bottle to hide her nerves. “You guys know that. Touch is hard.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Nina held up both hands to cut off Maya’s automatic protest. “No, I know Gray wouldn’t. But the pressure we exert on ourselves can be difficult, too.”
“It’s not even about what I want. It’s about what I can have.” Maya swallowed hard against the sudden knot in her throat. “I never know what’s going to be too much. And last time—”
Her voice broke on the word. If she closed her eyes, she’d be back there. On the Hill. In Birgitte’s posh, coldly elegant penthouse, the hardwood floors stained with blood. Too much blood. She hadn’t known a person could bleed that much and live for weeks.
That had been her first mistake.
If she closed her eyes, she’d see his face. Simon had looked nothing like Gray. His blond good looks had still held a boyish softness. He’d had freckles and a mischievous smile utterly unsuited to the gravity of his position. Simon had been far too young to be a bodyguard to a TechCorps VP, but he’d had other qualities to recommend him. Loyalty. Morality. A dedication to Birgitte’s revolution.
He’d smiled at Maya through all that blood, his lip split and his face bruised, and whispered the only words he’d say for those final, nightmarish weeks.
It’s okay. I love you. Don’t talk.
“Maya,” Dani whispered softly.
She clung to Dani’s voice, following it back to the present. Her friend’s face came into focus. Her serious eyes. Her blond hair.
Maya was safe. Safe, like Simon would never be. “I watched him die,” she said softly. “It was slow. So damn slow.”
Dani breathed a curse, but Nina just leaned closer, her gaze solemn.
Maya had never talked about it before. She hadn’t needed to—Dani and Nina had lived with her nightmares. They’d coaxed her back every time she woke screaming, trapped in a bloody past that would never fade from memory because it couldn’t, not for her. It only ever took one stray thought to put her back there, in the moment, so real it was like she was living it all over again.