“I became that man because I’d left my heart and soul with you.”
Her hands flew to her face as she openly began to bawl. “I don’t know how to fix this. Maybe we’re just too broken beyond repair. We’ve both hurt each other so much, and I can’t keep doing this. It hurts too fucking much.”
“Kid—”
“I love you, okay? I fucking love you.”
She turned to leave, and I chased her down the hall. Grabbing her arm, I turned her to face me, but I couldn’t get a word in. She started hitting my chest, her fists pounding into my pecs.
“Why?! Why did you have to lie to me? Why couldn’t you just have faced them with me? We could have told them! They would have accepted it! My parents loved you, and so did Christian! Why did you have to break us?”
I let her hit me.
Over and over again.
I wanted her agony. I deserved it.
“I’m sorry, kid. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You ruined us! We could have been a family!”
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I fucking hate myself for it? I can’t change the past, and looking at that photo album proved it. I want so desperately to make things right with you. I can’t live without you anymore. Not after being with you these last few weeks. My life belongs to you, Autumn. Always has, and it always will.”
She sobbed, falling to the floor, and I went with her. I held her in my arms.
Until there were no more tears.
No more hurt.
No more mistakes.
Until there was nothing but the future for ours to take.
I carried her into my bedroom and stripped off all our clothes. Leaving us bare where only our skin touched. I didn’t kiss her, I didn’t make love to her, I didn’t do any of the things I truly longed for.
Instead, I held her close to my heart. Where she could feel it only beating for her. She cried most of the night, and I kissed away every last tear. Breaking down with her.
Knowing we both needed this … to heal.
Chapter THIRTY-ONE
—Autumn—
The day had finally come, and my family, including my brother and Kinley, were coming over for the day. Julian had invited everyone. This was the first time I was going to see my brother since our altercation over two weeks ago. We’d been living here for seventeen days, and the truth was—it was starting to feel like home. Capri was loving every second of it, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also.
I was beyond nervous of what today would bring. Fully aware of Julian’s intentions, they were pure. He wanted my family in his life. I knew he’d missed them, probably in the same way I’d missed him. Christian didn’t want to attend our gathering at first, but our mom was able to change his mind.
Julian spared no expense, having it fully catered with some of my family’s favorite food. The liquor bar was stocked, our home was ready, and the atmosphere was perfect. The minute my parents’ SUV pulled up, Capri hauled ass outside to greet them. We hadn’t seen my parents in a couple of months, the same with Christian other than the day at the restaurant.
“Grampy!” Capri jumped into my dad’s arms.
“Sweet pea, look how big you’ve gotten!”
“I know! Momma says I’ve grown an inch since you last saw me. What do you think, Grammy? Do I look bigger?”
My mom hugged her tight. “You sure do. You have to stop growing, or who’s going to be my baby girl?”
“I’d love to give you another grandchild, several actually.”
I glared at Julian.
He hasn’t seen my parents in over a decade, and that’s the first thing he says to them?
“Julian,” Mom announced, looking at him with so much affection in her stare. “You always did speak your mind. It was one of the things I loved the most about you.”
He smiled, and she didn’t hesitate, opening her arms to give him a hug. They embraced, and my father hugged him too, all of them peering at each other with warmth and love.
“Look how handsome you are.” Mom beamed. “I always knew you’d accomplish big things. We can’t tell you how proud we are of you.”
“Thank you,” he replied. “You have no idea how much that means to me, and I just want to start off by saying I’m so sorry about—”
She waved him off. “It’s in the past. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”
“The way I left after everything you guys did for me. It’s inexcusable, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make things right with the both of you.”
“We just want you to be happy. It’s all we’ve ever wanted.”
“I know.” He looked over at me. “Autumn has always been the woman to do that for me.”
I hadn’t spoken to my parents about anything pertaining to Julian since The New York Times article hit the stands. I didn’t know what to say, and I figured it was better to discuss it in person than over the phone or through text. The expression on Mom’s face was enough—she had questions. Lots of them.
We showed them around the estate, and I could tell my parents were enamored with the property. It was as if no time had passed between Julian and my parents. Despite them being hurt by his actions, I always knew they wouldn’t hold a grudge. Now, my brother was a much different story. Christian and Julian had been best friends, and Christian had missed Julian like I did when he’d left. At least I got a goodbye—not a very good one but one, nonetheless.
Julian went out to the farmhouse with my dad and Capri, while my mom and I stayed behind in the kitchen.
Which was made for a queen.
Me.
“Okay, spill, Autumn. I can’t hold it in anymore. You’ve been ignoring my calls and texts.”
“I wasn’t ignoring you.”
“Then how do you explain every miscall and text?”
“I just didn’t know what to say. When I first learned about the article, I was so mad at Julian.”
“First learned? You didn’t know about it either?”
“Absolutely not! I would never want any of you to find out that way, but Julian … he’s Julian Locke, Alpha CEO, and he does what he wants.”
“He’s always done what he’s wanted, Autumn. You were too young to realize that before.”
“I’ve always known. I just ignored it back then.”
“And now?”
“He drives me absolutely insane.”
“What’s going on between you two? Is it true? Are you guys together because of the way that man looks at you, I can’t imagine this is just a publicity stunt.”
“I don’t know what we are, and that’s the honest truth.”
“Alright… And the article? What happened back then?”
I deeply sighed. “We lied to everyone.”
“So he was your first love? You were his?”
“Yeah, well, I mean he was mine, but I didn’t know I was his until the article hit the stands.”
“Oh wow.” She shook her head, dumbfounded. “How did we not see any of this?”