At her side, I made a plate, fighting the rumble of something deep in my bones. I shoved it down.
I could do this.
I could stay here without fucking it all up.
Ruining it all.
I sat down beside her at the larger table, pretending like I didn’t notice it was a circle of couples.
The love-fucked.
I took a hard glance at Mia. Tucking the feeling away. Wanting a piece of this for me.
Reminding myself again why that would forever be an impossibility.
Fifteen
Leif
Twenty-One Years Old
Strobe lights flashed in blinding rays of white light as I railed on the drums. Sweat flung from my drenched body. Soul crashing with the violent, raging rhythm.
The crowd surged and thrashed and toiled at the foot of the stage. Wild. Untamed. Minds absent, swept away in the reckless energy as they throbbed in the pit.
I fed off of it. Sucked it down. Muscles in my arms screaming with exertion as I pounded through the song.
The rest of the band came unhinged on the stage. Guitar and bass deafening. Milo screamed his aggression into the mic as his entire body slammed with the beat.
And for a few minutes, every single person in that club was free.
I tossed my sticks into the crowd. All the people standing at the foot of the stage were gasping for their breaths, as soaked as me, all the chaos they’d been holding onto released into the songs that we had played. I strode off the stage and went right for the room in the back.
Couches were set up all around. Lights cut low. Music blared from the speakers.
I accepted the bottle Miles offered as I walked in.
I plopped onto a couch. Did two fat lines that were already cut on the table, and I didn’t complain at all when a girl I’d hooked up with last week got onto her knees and went to work on my fly.
Lyrik West and his crew rolled in.
I gestured to the table.
My offering.
As long as they had the dough, all were welcome to play with me.
The band was nothing but an easy cover.
Music might have been the one piece that I still possessed of my soul, but it was Keeton who owned me.
Lyrik cocked me a smirk as he took a seat and gave himself over to the oblivion.
I guessed it was the least I could do.
Leif, Twenty-Three Years Old
The front door of the auto-shop swished open, sending a slice of late afternoon light streaking into the reception area. Heaving out a sigh, I sat forward on the stool where I sat behind the counter, trying not to be annoyed as I tossed my phone to the grungy surface.
But this bullshit was stupid.
Sitting up here like I was some kind of mechanic’s apprentice or some shit.
I had barely glanced up at the figure that slipped inside before my throat was going thick with a tingly awareness. My head snapped up to find this girl who was all kinds of wary standing just inside.
Wearing the shortest shorts and a long tee that almost covered them, her blonde hair swept up in a messy knot on top of her head. Flipflops on her feet.
There was an oil streak on her gorgeous face.
An innocent face.
Shy and sweet. Cheeks full, almost as full as her pink lips.
Her green eyes were big and round as she took in the surroundings. “I . . . um . . . are you open?” she asked, her nerves skating through the air.
“Yeah.”
She gestured out the door. “I got a flat. I tried to change it myself, but . . .” she trailed off, those eyes watching me as I pushed to standing.
My heart rate sped.
Sped with something brand new.
“You need my help?” I grunted out.
She smiled. “Yeah, I do.”
We banged into my apartment. Door crashing on the wall as I went back for her. Diving in for a kiss that I didn’t ever want to end. My arms curled around her tiny body. Lifting her from her feet. Spinning her and spinning her as we kissed and touched and clawed to get closer to the other.
Frantic.
Like if we lost this moment, we were going to lose everything.
We knocked into the entryway table as I yanked her shirt over her head, and a second later, I had her pressed to the door.
Kissing her like it was the last thing I was going to do.
Just as quickly, I pulled her away and lay her out on the couch.
Like I couldn’t sit still.
Desperate to have her everywhere.
And I knew I was never going to be good enough for this girl when she shivered like she’d never been touched before when I ran my nose up the inside of her thigh, from her knee up to the hem of those super short shorts. When she whimpered as I dragged them down her legs. When she whispered, “Be careful with me,” when I crawled over her.
I gathered her up, held her close, and I made a silent promise that I would always be.
That this was different.
Tender when I slowly pushed myself into the sweet relief of her body.
She gasped, and her head rocked back on the couch cushion, her chest pressing into mine. I swallowed the sound, relishing in the feel of her blunted fingernails sinking into my shoulders.
Her arms tight around my neck and her heart a thunder that raced to meet with mine.
I edged back, watching down on her as I fucked her.
But I knew well enough this was different.
This was different than all those girls.
Knew I wasn’t ever going to be the same.
She nervously raked her teeth across her bottom lip, glancing up at me where she was curled up at my side with her head rested on my shoulder. Two of us under the covers in my bed. Her sweet body warm and alive next to mine.
Night pressed at the small window of my bedroom.
The sleazy sounds of Los Angeles howled through the darkness right outside the rundown building.
Sirens spinning. Gunshots in the distance. Shouts of hatred and abuse.
She just curled deeper into the safety of my arms while I pressed a kiss to her temple.
“Hi,” I murmured.
A timid smile pulled at her mouth, and she gazed up at me, tentatively playing her fingers across the satisfied thrum in my chest. “I never imagined this was the way my day would turn out.”
I squeezed her a little, the words I delivered close to a tease. “What, you didn’t expect to get a flat tire?”
A slight giggle slipped from her mouth. “I think I hit a little more than a bump in the road.”
I blew out a heavy sigh, shifted so I could spread my hand out over her cheek.
Sure I’d never spoken a louder truth in my entire life.
“Never could have anticipated crashing into you.”
Sixteen
Mia
The house echoed a hushed stillness, the windows darkened to a wispy calm from within, walls seeping with a resonating silence.
The hour deep.
Only hours until dawn.
But I couldn’t sleep. I guessed the worry and fear and dread were finally catching up to me. Wearing me thin.
It’d been four nights since the false alarm had rung through the house.
Tonight, I found I couldn’t remain locked inside that room for any longer, so I’d slipped out to the pool with a bottle of wine in search of peace.