Pride pulled tight at my chest.
Not something I was used to feeling. But it was there.
“Turned out pretty good,” I told him, barely able to contain my smile.
“Pretty good? That shit is brilliant. Best album of the year, baby. Bet my house, we’re going to be getting called up to an entirely different kind of stage. Willow and I are about to redecorate—with Grammy’s.”
Lyrik chuckled from where he leaned against the massive row of sound equipment.
“For the first time in my life, I think I’m gonna agree with Ash here,” he razzed, smirking at his friend. “Album is beast.”
Ash’s brows lifted to the sky. “Agreeing for the first time? Now that’s damn ridiculous considering I’ve been telling you bitches that Sunder is the best band in the land since I was about sixteen. You just gettin’ on the train now?”
Austin clapped Lyrik on the back, his smile slow. “He finally started believing when he hit the hundred-million mark. Asshole needed more proof.”
“Chump change, baby. Just wait until Redeemed drops. We aren’t going to be able to leave our houses,” Ash trumpeted.
Baz rocked back in the office chair, nothing but smug. “You’re making me really regret the fact I jumped.”
Austin shook his head. “Yeah, my big bro here is reaping the rewards and he doesn’t even have to tour.”
Baz shrugged. “Older. Smarter. Whatever. Besides, I’d probably break a goddamn hip if I got up on that stage and tried to perform.”
Ash’s expression morphed into disgusted disbelief. “What nonsense do you speak of?” He held out his arms. “This boy right here is barely hitting his prime.”
“You just keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh, I plan to.”
Was hard to process the lightness in my chest. One I couldn’t remember ever being there before.
Excitement.
Proud to have been here but anxious to leave.
I stuffed my notebook into my backpack, zipped it up. “Think I’m gonna head out. It’s truly been an honor working with you guys.”
Ash cracked a grin. All teeth. “What, you think you have somewhere more important to be?”
Tried to keep the smile from breaking out for fear it was gonna be downright giddy. “Might.”
“Oh, yeah, and just where is that?” There was Ash, pushing all the buttons.
“All right, all right, let the poor guy be. He had to suffer through working with you the last two months,” Baz said, standing from his chair. “Besides, Shea and I are planning a little celebration at our house tomorrow night to toast another Sunder victory. Hope you all will be there.”
He looked directly at me.
On the spot.
Was going to have to get used to this shit.
But she was worth it.
They were worth it.
I gave a tight nod. “That should work.”
“Cool. See you then.”
“Later,” I said, heading out of the studio and toward the stairway that led to the main floor. I climbed to the top, only to stall out when I heard Lyrik calling to me from behind. “Hey, Leif, hold up a minute.”
I turned around to face him as he stepped onto the landing. His black hair a disaster, tattoos bristling with his blunt energy. “Just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you dropping everything for us these last two months. Knew you were going to be good, but I had no idea what you were going to bring to this album.”
Didn’t want to stand there getting puffed up and cocky, but his words were hard to ignore.
“Meant a lot . . . that you trusted me.”
Guess I was speaking of so much more than just the music.
His nod was tight. “And what’s the plan now? You headin’ back to South Carolina?” There was no missing what he was getting at.
I blew out a sigh, wondering how it was that I didn’t instantly feel defensive. “I love her, Lyrik, and believe me, that is not a sentiment that I take lightly.”
Something unsettled moved through his expression. “So . . . how’s it gonna be? They should be locking down the case soon, which means she’ll be good to go back to L.A.”
Knew all of this was between Mia and me, but I figured if it wasn’t for Lyrik, we wouldn’t have collided, anyway.
We wouldn’t be here, in this place, planning a future together.
Huh.
I guessed that bitch Karma had overstayed her welcome.
“Asked her to stay. With me. Know it’s going to take some patience to figure this out, that we’re goin’ to have to make sacrifices, but I don’t think you’re much of a stranger to that.”
“No, brother. I’m not. It’s fuckin’ hard. But believe me, it’s worth it. Music is like any other job. You do it, you do it well, and then you get your ass home to your girl. Don’t fucking get distracted or start making pit stops on your way home, if you get my meaning.”
I scraped out a rough laugh. “Loud and clear.”
Not that I needed to be reminded.
He rubbed his palm over his mouth and down his chin, looked me square. “Take care of them.” He reached out and squeezed me on the shoulder. “And fuck, man, let her take care of you, too.”
Without saying anything else, he turned and bounded back downstairs.
I exhaled. For the first time, it didn’t feel so heavy.
I walked out the door and into the blazing sun that was just beginning to dive to the west, the late afternoon hot and humid and filled with possibility.
That riot continued to go down in the middle of me.
Torn between love and loyalty.
One in the same.
“Only you. Forever. No matter what.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
I dropped my head, gulping around the memories, knowing that oath was no longer true.
Not sure if it made me a bastard.
A cheater and a liar.
Hating what I’d done. A blight that would lie on me forever.
“I’m sorry, Maddie. I’m so damned sorry.”
It was a silent prayer, held in the wind, kept in the whisper that whipped through the trees.
Then I pulled out my phone and tapped out a message that I’d been contemplating all week.
Me: What happens if I let it go?
Phone rang.
“Braxton.”
“What the fuck is going on, Leif?”
I stalled. Hesitated. Hadn’t given him many details. Even though I trusted him with my life, it was always safer to keep names separated. Identities. Yeah, he knew I was in Savannah, but I hadn’t given him the details of where I was staying or who I was playing with.
He would have lost his shit if he knew.
It was reckless, but I’d been from the beginning. But sometimes you had to wander lost before you found out where you belonged.
“Just don’t know what good it’ll do at this point.”
He breathed out a skeptical sound. “Be straight with me, Leif. What the fuck is going on?”
“Met someone.”
He sighed. Warring, too. “That’s good, Leif. That’s good. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re hiding out on the other side of the country. Running for your life. Makes it more dangerous, honestly.”