Home > All the Sauce (IceCats #4)(27)

All the Sauce (IceCats #4)(27)
Author: Toni Aleo

“Before here?”

“A few, but I’ve only been in love once.”

“William Pence?”

I laugh as I nod. “Yup. You didn’t like him, did you?”

“No. Such a dick.”

“How many times did y’all fight and you were on the same team?”

“At least ten. It got to the point that Dad finally kicked him off the team,” he says, shaking his head. “You know he was bullying Evan.”

My smile drops. “No! What a fucker.”

“Exactly.”

“He told me y’all fought because you thought he was better than you.”

He gives me a dry look. “Paxy, no one is better than me.”

“Good lord,” I say, giggling, but I feel awful. I hate that William did that to Evan. “I want to beat him up myself.”

Owen waves me off. “He knocked up three different women his rookie year and then got kicked off for performance enhancers. Karma got him.”

“Karma got him with the size of his dick,” I admit, and Owen hoots with laughter.

“Damn, you’re cold.”

I shrug as his laughter subsides. I clear my throat then, and he looks over at me from where he has eaten his fifth hot dog. Dude can eat. “You’re not going to like my next question.”

He makes a face, eyeing me. “Why?”

“I just know you won’t.”

“Oh well. Hit me with it.”

I hesitate and almost change my question, but then I have to know. “Have you always been into big girls?”

He raises a brow. “Pax, you’re hardly big.”

“I’m not small.”

“Nor have you ever been,” he says with a shrug. “You’ve always been tall and wide, and honestly, I don’t think you ate right when we were younger ’cause you always looked hungry and your cheeks were always sunken in.”

I gape at him. “Please, don’t spare my feelings.”

He scoffs. “I’m serious. You look healthy now.”

“I’m overweight.”

“So am I. You don’t see me trying to use that as a shield to keep people away from me.”

“Wow. Please, tell me more,” I say, completely taken aback.

“Just saying,” he says simply. “You aren’t big or fat. You’re chubby. Chubby sexy, in my opinion.”

“Chubby. Sexy.”

“Yes. Like your chub makes me want to get lost in your body and never come out alive.”

I can’t help but giggle. “You’re such a liar. You never dated thick girls in school. I honestly don’t know what you’re doing with me.”

He throws me a look and then names them off with his fingers. “Um, Kelly Brown, Jennifer Tavon, and Yasmine Probst.”

I know all those girls, and they’re actually bigger than me. In their defense, not that they need my defense, they’re built to move mountains. Jennifer and Yasmine play rugby for the Bellevue Bullies, and Kelly is a professional weight lifter. Plus, they’re all insanely gorgeous.

“So, you are a chubby chaser?”

He rolls his eyes. “Like I said to that girl at the pub, I’m a soul chaser. If I vibe with you, the only thing that matters to me is who you are. A person’s body only adds to the magic of them.”

Fuck me sideways. I’m going to fall in love with Owen Adler, aren’t I?

“Oh,” I mutter as I look away.

“Now for my question. Who has made you think you’re anything but perfect?”

I look up at him. “No one.”

“I can’t fight no one, Pax. Give me a name. I’ll find him.”

I ridicule, “Society?”

He thinks that over. “That could take me a bit. Can we narrow it down to one particular asshole?”

I want to say Leroy, but for a very good reason, I don’t, because I believe Owen would go after him. “It’s mainly me. I mean, come on. Charlotte is a stick—”

“She’s like fourteen or something. Of course she is.”

“The boys have strong bodies—”

“They also swim and dive twenty-four seven.”

I press my lips together. “I don’t know. I just feel like a failure.”

“For gaining weight?”

“Yeah.”

“How does that make sense? I know for a fact that your parents wouldn’t say anything.”

“Oh my God, never. They love me so hard, and I think that set me up to never know what failure really is. They always just told me I was the best. And then when my injury to my wrist happened—boom! Hockey career gone.”

“That happens, though. Life is up and down, Angie.”

“I know,” I say with a shrug, feeling sorry for myself. “But then I started volleyball, and I was good, doing big things. But then shit happened, and I ran away because I felt like I deserved it.”

He makes a face. “You deserved to be almost raped? That’s the most unreal thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you knew.”

“Yeah, Evan told me.”

Of course he did. I nod slowly. “I don’t believe it anymore after some serious therapy. But at the time, I did. I mean, you remember how horrible my bio dad was, don’t you?”

He thinks for a second. “I mean, barely. I’ve heard stories, though.”

“Yeah, he was so abusive. And after William, I had some shitty relationships. Then Taco attacked me, and I felt like I didn’t deserve to be loved.”

“So, right now, I have William on my list. I need the guys from the shitty relationships and now a fucker named Taco. Who names their kid Taco?”

I don’t want to laugh, but I do. “That was his nickname, and stop with the list, please.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll throw out the mental list,” he says with a goofy look on his face that says he’ll do no such thing.

“You’re absolutely impossible, Owen.”

“I know, and you’re absolutely gorgeous.”

I shake my head. “It’s hard for me to believe that… I don’t believe it.”

“But it’s true.”

“It’s not, though. I mean, I look at myself, and I don’t see what you see. It’s so frustrating that I allowed myself to get to where I am. I came here and just dove into school and work. I hardly ate because I was homesick, and then when I would, I’d eat everything I saw because I was so hungry. I lived off candy and iced coffees for a year before I realized I was gaining so much weight.”

“Which is okay,” he insists. “You were healing, Angie. You can’t hate a body for doing what it had to do to help your mind heal.”

I look away since tears start to fill my eyes. I swallow past the lump in my throat, hating how emotional all this is making me.

“You have to see that. You were surviving. You can’t hate your body for that. You have to love it for that. There are people whose bodies give up even when they want to fight but can’t.”

I press my lips together. Why can’t I see it like that? “I miss my family, so much, but I’m so scared they’ll be disappointed in the way I look.”

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