ROLAND: Technically I didn’t. Ami did. Care to tell your friends at the network what you did to incite her wrath, Sheldon?
SHELDON: [scowls as a flush creeps up his neck] I, uh, I actually just remembered I have to be someplace, so I’d better go.
SARAH: Are you sure?
SHELDON: Yeah.
SARAH: Well, it was nice to see you again.
ROLAND: I’ll give Ami your regards.
SHELDON: [swears as he exits]
SARAH: [smiles] That was mean.
ROLAND: I know. [kisses the tip of her nose] Now, about that bath…
November 2011
I believe I wrote this one for an event Literary Escapism planned around Black Friday.
SHELDON: Hey, man. How’s it going?
DARNELL: [sighs] Don’t ask.
SHELDON: Is something up? We could do the interview another day.
DARNELL: No, today’s fine. Have you by any chance seen Marcus?
SHELDON: No.
DARNELL: What about Richart?
SHELDON: He’s… hunting.
DARNELL: Lisette or Étienne?
SHELDON: Not tonight. Not so far. Why? What’s going on?
DARNELL: I’m trying to find an immortal I can con into doing my Christmas shopping for me.
SHELDON: [stares at him, then bursts into laughter] Seriously?
DARNELL: Absolutely. They have superstrength and superspeed. Those guys can get in and get out of a store in no time at all, and crowds would prove no obstacle. I, on the other hand, could shop twenty-four hours a day from now until Christmas and still not get a present for everyone on my list. I’m starting late because of all the vampire troubles that have cropped up, and I don’t know how I’m going to get it done.
SHELDON: I could help you out. Richart has been spending a lot of time… elsewhere. So I have some free time on my hands. I still have a couple of my own I need to get anyway.
DARNELL: [relief blankets his features] That would be great. Thanks. [reaches down and picks up a binder about an inch thick that’s propped against his chair and drops it in Sheldon’s lap] I really appreciate it.
SHELDON: What’s this?
DARNELL: My gift list. Well, most of it.
SHELDON: [eyes the binder with dread] You’re kidding, right?
DARNELL: No. I’m David’s Second. He’s the second eldest and most powerful immortal on the planet. When Seth is needed in two places at once, David takes up the slack. Where David goes, I go. And he goes all over the world. So I pretty much know every Immortal Guardian currently living, as well as their Seconds. Hence, my gift list.
SHELDON: Dude.
DARNELL: Now I just need to think of something good to give Seth and David. I hate shopping for those two. They’re thousands of years old. What do you give men who have seen and done everything?
SHELDON: You don’t really expect me to—
DARNELL: I need to find something special for Ami, too. Living with Marcus is probably driving her up the wall.
SHELDON: Speaking of… I heard you weren’t too thrilled about her becoming Marcus’s Second.
DARNELL: I was furious actually.
SHELDON: Why?
DARNELL: Marcus loved Bethany for eight hundred years. He’s grown increasingly erratic in the years since her departure, and I’m afraid he’ll get Ami killed.
SHELDON: I’mmmmm pretty sure Seth and David wouldn’t let that happen.
DARNELL: Seth and David have been insanely busy lately. Contrary to popular belief, they can’t be everywhere at once.
SHELDON: You may be worrying over nothing anyway. The guys at the network think Marcus is going to pull a Roland and scare Ami off.
DARNELL: [laughs] I’d like to see him try. Ami is a lot tougher than she looks. [cell phone buzzes] Hang on a sec. [retrieves a phone from his back pocket] Yeah? … Wait. What? … Marcus and Ami did? … What? … No. David isn’t here. … No. I’m on my way. [ends the call and tucks away his phone] Gotta book.
SHELDON: Wait!
DARNELL: [adjusts the weapons strapped to him and points to the binder] Thanks for helping me out with that, man. I owe you. [leaves]
SHELDON: But I… [looks down at the binder] Aw, crap. [thinks a moment, then takes out his cell and dials] Richart? … Yeah, it’s me. You feel like doing some shopping? … [frowns] No, I’m not high.
December 2011
Night Reigns Blog Tour
TODD: Nice to see you both. Thank you for agreeing to another interview. The last one ended precipitously when Sheldon, ah…
ROLAND: [raises eyebrow] Fled?
TODD: Yyyyeah. Pretty much.
SARAH: Where is Sheldon? I thought he was supposed to conduct the interviews.
TODD: He is. Some of them, or actually most of them. Just not yours. And not Marcus and Ami’s.
ROLAND: [smiles] He is so afraid of Ami.
SARAH: He isn’t exactly enamored of you either.
ROLAND: It isn’t my fault humans fear me.
SARAH AND TODD: Yes, it is. [both laugh]
TODD: Anyway, let’s get started on the questions. These were offered up by network employees and Seconds. The first one is for Sarah. Any regrets over leaving your old life behind?
SARAH: None at all.
TODD: Really? Because you’ve been with Roland for two years now. Two long years. With Roland. No plans on leaving him? There’s a pool going over at the network and—
SARAH: [laughs] I’m not going to leave him. I love Roland. You guys just don’t know him like I do or you wouldn’t find that so hard to believe.
TODD: If you say so. Next question, again for Sarah. Sorry, Roland, you just aren’t real popular with the humans.
ROLAND: [sarcastically] I care.
TODD: You were a music theory professor before you met Roland and he blew that all to hell. Do you miss it?
SARAH: No. Believe it or not, hunting psychotic vampires is a lot less stressful than teaching.
TODD: [laughs] I’ll bet it is. Roland, what about you? Any regrets?
ROLAND: [touches Sarah’s hair and smiles] Only that it took me so long to find her.
TODD: [stares]
ROLAND: What?
TODD: Nothing. It’s just… You’re widely known as the most antisocial immortal on the planet, and here you are acting… What’s the word I’m looking for…?
SARAH: Loving? Affectionate?
TODD: Yeah. It’s weird. Not really what I was expecting.
ROLAND: [scowls] Don’t get used to it.
TODD: That’s more like it. [looks at his list] Next question. Roland, you’re nearly a thousand years old. How did you manage to make it through so many centuries without going insane?
ROLAND: [dark smile] Some would say I didn’t.
SARAH: [elbows him]
ROLAND: What?
TODD: It’s true. They do.
SARAH: Well, you don’t have to encourage such rumors. Next question, please.
TODD: Okay. Here’s another one for Roland. Everyone knows you have serious trust issues.
SARAH: He has his reasons.
TODD: Well, rumor has it you don’t even trust Marcus fully, and you two have been friends for eight centuries.
ROLAND: Is there a question in there somewhere?
TODD: Do you trust Sarah?
ROLAND: With my heart and my life.
SARAH: [smiles up at him] Do you have any idea how much that means to me?