I can’t fix the financial problem. What I have to give is pennies compared to what he needs.
“I can pay off your credit cards,” Sulli suddenly offers.
“No, Sul—”
“Just once your credit is good again and we go over your books—then we can talk about you paying me back, if you fucking have to. I want to help you—let me help you.”
Akara breathes in those last words. “I’ll pay you back.”
“I know you’ll fucking want to,” she nods. “Just don’t do it too soon.”
He exhales, then nods. “Thank you.” He bows his head, thinking. “The transfers.”
I can help solve the transfer puzzle.
Then it hits me.
“Put Frog on Luna’s detail,” I tell him.
“What?” Akara frowns. “She’s barely good enough to be a temp.”
Sulli meets my eyes. “No, Banks is right, Kits. You said yourself that Frog loves being on Luna’s detail. Luna likes Frog. They’re buddyguard compatible.”
I squeeze his shoulder. “Add a temp with Frog if it’ll make it better. Keep Gabe as the floater. Quinn goes to Baby Ripley.”
Akara stares at the ground, rubbing his swollen eyes. “It could work. But it still leaves my gym without a manager.”
We all grow quiet. Unsaid truths swinging in the air. Studio 9 has been more of a thorn in Akara’s side than any bodyguard transfer decision. He won’t sell, and Sulli and I won’t tell him to abandon the legacy of his family.
Sulli nudges Akara’s shoulder. “Maybe the Oliveiras have a friend who’d be interested in the job?”
Akara stares faraway. “I’ll figure this one out.” He glances between Sulli and me. “Thanks for the rest. I needed it.”
I say, “That’s what we’re here for.”
Sulli gives him a tight hug.
Among these stately bookcases—like I’m back in Warwick University’s massive library—the three of us find ourselves on the ground. Not ready to leave that quickly.
Sitting in a circle, we pass the bucket of popcorn around.
“Nemo,” Akara says.
I almost choke on a kernel. “Like Finding Nemo?”
“Yeah.” He fits a baseball cap on backwards, his face dried of tears. “I used to love that movie when I was a kid.”
I bite onto a toothpick. “You get dropped on your head as a baby?”
“You know I’d ask the same of you, Banksy.”
“We’re not naming our kid after a fuckin’ goldfish.”
Sulli elbows me with a smile. “He was a clown fish.”
“Even worse,” I say. “Poor little guy will get teased mercilessly.”
Akara throws a popcorn kernel at me. “You’re the one that wants to name her Ariel after The Little Mermaid.”
“She’s a Disney princess,” I refute. “Not a clownfish.”
“Is it bad luck to pick out a name so early?” Sulli asks as Akara passes her the tub.
“I don’t know,” I say. “Never had a kid before.”
“Same.” Akara stretches out his legs on the floor. We both see Sulli’s worry building. “We can put a pin on the names, Sul.”
She relaxes.
Truth: picking out names is the least stressful thing for me. Thinking about the other shit that comes with parenthood skyrockets my nerves.
The hard choices.
Guiding them to do the right thing.
The quick decisions.
I pray I have that in me.
Sulli takes a fistful of popcorn. “Do you guys ever think about when I got pregnant? We know how far along I am, but which time was the time of conception?”
I grind my teeth back and forth on the toothpick, thinking. “It’d be sometime around Training Camp, I’m guessing.”
“Yep,” Akara nods, “based on the timeline.” He leans back on his hands. “I didn’t notice the condom breaking so it must’ve been some epic sex.”
Sulli smiles, “Top fucking tier.”
“Gold status,” Akara adds.
I pipe in, “Sounds like every time we fuck.”
Sulli grins more, one that falters too fast. She’s deep in thought. “You know, I made a mental list of all the times it could’ve happened.”
“Let’s hear it,” I tell her.
She lists off her fingers. “I think there were a few times we banged in the bathtub. Or it could’ve been one of the many times on the bed. Or the less likely options. The night, here, in the library.”
Akara and I glance at the library table we fucked Sulli on. Great fuckin’ night.
“Or the locker room,” Sulli continues, “ooooor, maybe the time we fucked on the bedroom floor.” She flushes a deeper red. “I had to throw that rug out.”
“It was an ugly rug,” Akara says.
“Kits” she gapes. “It was shaped like a cupcake.”
“Exactly.”
She chucks a handful of popcorn at his face.
He laughs, letting the kernels rain down on him.
I hang an arm around her shoulders. “The list is long.”
Sulli leans into my body. “What do you say, Hardy Boys? Can you solve this mystery?”
“I’d bet us on the bed,” I say.
“The library,” Akara guesses. “But we have no way of verifying.”
She sighs. “It’s bugging me that I’ll probably never know.”
I hug her closer. “Some things are just meant to be that way, mermaid.” History we don’t know. Preserved in time somewhere we can’t reach.
51
AKARA KITSUWON
1 MONTH BEFORE THE OLYMPICS
JUNE
Tonight is the last night before Training Camp in Hawaii, and Sulli won’t leave the pool.
“Come on, string bean.” I bend down and hold out a hand.
She kicks away from the wall. “One more lap.”
Banks chews on a toothpick, watching beside me. “Don’t you want to catch some sleep before traveling tomorrow?”
“I can sleep on the plane.” She flips over on her back to practice the backstroke.
Banks and I share concern. The gun incident happened five days ago, and she’s been shaken since. She cried herself to sleep last night because a thunderstorm kept jolting her awake. And today—today, Celebrity Crush posted a fudging article about the “incident” with vague, speculative details.
We’re not letting anything reach press.
Just when Sulli has started growing used to parts of the chaos, this happens, and I feel helpless. Like I can’t cheer her up for long enough. I can’t rid her fear or Banks’ hypervigilance.
Swimming is a big distraction from the outside. She already changed out of her regulation swimsuit and just wears a turquoise bikini. She meant to go home earlier, then changed her mind at the last second.
Back in the water.
All over again.
Lately, one lap usually turns into another. Then another. Then two hours later, she’ll finally be ready to pull her exhausted self out of this pool. Any other night—I might entertain the devotion, but a couple hours won’t make or break her chances.