“But make sure they know that,” Sian said.
With that, she turned on her heel and left the room, leaving us all in stunned silence.
“There can’t be any games,” Gideon said. “When this goes live, we must be able to take care of it. No mistakes.”
“We’ll handle it, but this isn’t what Joan wanted,” Lucas said.
“Joan’s not here anymore.”
I’d heard enough. They could argue and fight about what was in Sian’s best interest all they wanted to. I went to her to see how she was holding up, and found her in the library.
She stood looking out at the rain. Her arms were folded and she seemed so sad.
“Hey,” I said, coming to stand beside her.
She glanced back and her smile was somewhat pinched.
I hadn’t gotten the chance to really speak to her after her nearly killing Chloe. “How are you holding up?”
“Surprisingly good. I mean, considering my best friend is dead, I nearly killed a girl, the loss of my virginity is going to be out there for the world to see, oh, and my dad is threatening to kill my mom who he has spent my whole life drugging up and manipulating. I’m … peachy.”
After that long response, I felt my own head spinning. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her close. “I’m here.”
“I know you are. I know you all are here for me.”
“You don’t have to do this, Sian.”
We all had until the end of the week to make a decision. Actually, Sian had until the end of the week to stay or leave. I honestly thought she would have chosen to leave. Why stay here? The long list she’d given showed there was nothing worth staying for.
“I’m staying because … I love you guys. I know it’s odd and I probably shouldn’t love four men, and it has so many things wrong with it, but I don’t care. I love you all and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” She lifted her head up to look at me. “Is it so wrong for me to want to be here with you all?”
“We come with a lot of baggage.”
“Guess what? So do I. I have a lot of baggage. Too much to count, but if I’m willing to overlook yours, will you overlook mine?”
I cupped her cheek, running my thumb across her bottom lip. “Always. For you, I will do whatever it takes.”
She pressed her lips against mine, and like so many times before, I felt like I was finally home.
Chapter Thirteen
William
I wanted to jump for joy.
But I didn’t.
I wanted to tell the world how fucking happy I was.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I found Sian in the games room, a pool stick in her hand as she bent over the desk, badly hitting the balls and failing to pot them in. The girl couldn’t play the game at all, and this made bad look even worse.
With my arms folded, I waited, watching her miss balls that should have been easy.
“What?” Sian asked.
“What? That’s all you’ve got to say to me? What?”
She looked up after missing yet again another ball and shrugged. “You’ve come here to moan. I can see it.” She pointed up and down at my body. “You’ve got something you want to say, so say it.”
“Why?”
Sian smiled as she potted a ball. From the look of the table, the first one. “You know, this is a lot harder than it looks.”
“It takes practice and skill.”
She held out the stick for me. “Show me.”
I took it from her. “Tell me why you made that stupid choice,” I said.
“This coming from the guy who begged me to stick around.”
I bent over the table and potted two balls one after the other. “I want you to stay with me, but I offered to come with you.”
“You couldn’t. We both know that and I’m not willing to take on the wrath of The Society.”
Tomorrow night, the video of us together would be leaked, followed by Alexander’s video. I’d heard my father on the phone making all the necessary arrangements.
“Do you know if they agreed?” I asked.
I nodded. “Everything is in order. You’ve got until a minute before the footage airs to change your mind.”
“I won’t change my mind.”
When I missed a ball that I shouldn’t have, as it was perfectly lined up, I handed her back the stick. She bent over the table, distracting me with that perfect ass.
I didn’t want to leave her alone.
Folding my arms, I tried to stay angry.
“Don’t be pissed at me, William. Do you really think I was going to leave you guys?”
I watched her pot the ball and turn toward me. “If you were sensible, yes.”
She sighed. “Clearly, I’m not sensible.” She threw the stick onto the table and turned toward me. There were still balls on the table.
“Saying yes and then … accepting this isn’t the end of it, Sian. They have rules, order, and they’re going to expect you to comply. If you don’t…” I couldn’t bring myself to even finish that statement.
Sian closed the distance between us, putting a hand on my chest. “Stop this. Stop worrying. Stop … thinking bad things. You’re William Martin. The guy who smiles at everything regardless of what it all means.” She went on her tiptoes and kissed me. “My dad wants to bring down your dads and in doing so, he wants to take over The Society. He’s hungry for money, power. He’s pure greed and has been all his life. It’s why he manipulated the outcome to get Joan. It’s all about what he wants, not about anyone else. I’ve got to stop him. He is dangerous.”
“I don’t want it to cost you,” I said. “I never want it to cost you.”
“And I’m not willing to give you guys up. Can’t you see this as a romantic gesture?”
I wanted to more than anything. “But you don’t know what you’re giving up.”
She sighed and stepped away from me. Her gaze went to the floor. “You’re probably right. I don’t know everything that’s going to happen or if I’m going to be able to handle what they throw at me, but love isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be. Drew told me once that if love didn’t hurt, then you were doing it wrong. I always thought that was crazy. She said real love, the kind of soul-searing, completely consuming love, was meant to be painful. If that’s true, then I want it. I don’t care to be in a relationship I can’t stand. Looking back, my mom has spent nineteen years in a drug haze where she barely knows me. Every now and then, she comes out of it, and she has these little sparks of memory. She becomes the woman I want to meet. That’s painful and it hurts so bad because I know I’m also so very angry at her for allowing this to happen. It makes no sense. Love, pain, feelings, none of them make any sense, and yet most of the world spends hundreds of thousands of dollars to be immersed into the very notion of it. We thrive on it. I know exactly what I’m giving up, William. I’m giving up my chance to have a peaceful life. One that would be boring and dull because not a moment would go by where I wouldn’t regret taking this chance. I love you. I love Gideon. I love Dante and Mateo. I love you all, and I know it’s wrong. I know to the world I shouldn’t love any of you, but guess what, I’m going to have to stay being wrong because this doesn’t feel wrong to me. It feels so very right.”