“Oh my God, I almost forgot how beautiful you are,” Ethan said when he dropped me back to the ground. He immediately dipped me back, pressing his lips hard to mine as a blush crept up on my cheeks. He stood me back up, hands framing my face, before Jamie cleared his throat.
Ethan perked up at that, tucking me into his side and smiling wide at Jamie. “And I see you met my roommate!”
I blanched at that, my eyes wide while Jamie’s were shielded beneath bent brows.
“Jamie is your roommate?” I squeaked.
“Yeah,” he answered, pointing his finger between the two of us. “Y’all know each other?”
Jamie’s eyes hadn’t left mine, but they’d changed, grown cooler in tone somehow. “We went to high school together,” he clipped.
I swallowed, studying Jamie’s face, wondering why he suddenly looked ready to kill something. “Yeah. He dated my best friend back in the day.”
“Huh!” Ethan mused, grin still in place. “What a small world!”
Jamie’s nose flared, his eyes bouncing between Ethan and me before they stuck hard on where our hands had laced together. “I was just heading back to the dorm to shower. I’ll see you later, Ethan.”
“Later, bro.”
Jamie glanced at me one last time before jogging off, leaving me stunned to silence beside his roommate.
My boyfriend.
Jesus.
“Let’s get you moved in, babe,” he said, kissing my hair as he steered us away from the union.
I had driven a tiny U-Haul truck here, convincing my mom that I wanted to do the trip by myself. It took almost a week with how often I stopped, but it was a nice road trip to do alone. It gave me time to think about the next chapter in my life, and I was excited to start writing it.
I pointed the U-Haul out to Ethan when we reached the parking lot near my dorms. He got to work, talking to me the entire time about everything he couldn’t wait to show me as I tried to stay focused and present. The truth was, I could only think about one thing. One person. The boy I wasn’t supposed to ever see again.
I would never admit it, but even then, I was already itching for another taste.
• • •
Jamie did a pretty good job of ignoring me after that.
I’d see him around campus sometimes, usually with his arm around a curvy blonde, which I’d learned quickly was his “type.” But whenever we’d find ourselves in the same place, whether it be his and Ethan’s dorm or a neutral space on campus, he somehow found an excuse to leave as soon as I showed up. We’d spent a total of maybe three minutes together since that first day on campus, and I was convinced he hated me.
But I didn’t know why.
The most obvious answer would be that he didn’t like that I was dating his roommate. But again, I found myself asking why? He’d dated my best friend in high school and I’d been nothing but supportive. Did he not like Ethan? Was he upset that I was a link to his past life in Florida, suddenly showing up to cramp his style? Was he upset I didn’t tell him before I got here? We hadn’t talked since that last day on the beach after his graduation, and I’d just met Ethan over the summer. I didn’t know Jamie even went to Alder, let alone that he was Ethan’s roommate, and it wasn’t even like Ethan had much time to tell him, seeing as how he was in Florida for the summer while Jamie had stayed at Alder.
I worried myself sick with questions for a few days after our first encounter before worry turned to anger. This was Jamie, the boy I used to ride around town with, the boy who called me his best friend. And suddenly he was the world’s biggest prick. He’d gone from smiling and joking with me on that first day to avoiding me completely, save for the glares he would occasionally throw my direction on his way out when I’d be hanging out in his and Ethan’s dorm room. It was maddening.
Whatever. He wanted to ignore me? Fine. I would ignore him right back.
I was studying for my first sociology test about a month after school started when Jenna called. I smiled at the screen on my phone, flopping back on my bed to take a break and talk to my best friend who was an entire country away.
“I miss you!” she squealed as soon as the line connected.
“I miss you, too! How’s New York?”
She huffed. “The city is amazing, the school work sucks, and the weather I haven’t decided on yet. How about you? How are classes? How’s Ethan?”
“Classes aren’t bad, and Ethan is amazing. He’s been really busy with Student Government, but I see him almost every night and he’s been showing me a lot of the campus.”
“You guys boning a lot?”
“Oh my God, Jenna.” I rolled over, fingers tracing the lines of my pale-yellow comforter. My dorm room was small, but it had a door that separated me from my roommates, which was all I really needed in life. I had minimal decorations, my laptop the only thing that sat on my desk other than a photo of Jenna and me, and I had two motivational posters on the wall. The biggest embellishments were my throw pillows, yellow and white, and my lime green surfboard that leaned against the inside of my closet, begging to be used.
“What? You lost your v-card this summer, B. I’m finally allowed to ask you about your sex life and I’m taking every opportunity to do so.”
I rolled my eyes. “We’re boning a consistent amount, doctor, and I’m taking my birth control. Can we move on to something else now?”
Jenna laughed. “Fine. If you were wondering about me, I haven’t hooked up with anyone yet, but I have my eyes on a few prospects.”
“Thanks for the update, scout.”
“So what else is new?”
Jenna was attending New York University, on the literal opposite side of the country from me, and the more we talked about professors and campus dining, the more I missed her. It was the first time we’d been apart since we were toddlers, and I was still having a hard time building a friendship with my roommates. I had three of them, one a volleyball player here on scholarship from Virginia, one an animal-rights’ activist from northern California, and the other a soft-spoken Christian from Kansas. None of us had found much common ground to walk on yet, but I was trying to be hopeful.
“When can I come visit you? I miss the beach already,” Jenna said with a longing sigh.
“My twin bed is yours to cuddle in anytime you want it.”
“I’m serious, I’m going to just pop up on your doorstep one day.”
I smiled. “And it’d be the best day ever.”
After our phone call, I shot off an email to Mom with details on how classes were going. Our schedules hardly ever lined up enough for phone calls, but we had been emailing pretty steadily. Interestingly enough, our relationship had grown stronger during my last year of high school. Part of that might have been me disconnecting my father from my life completely while the other part was likely from me finally forgiving her for my name. I wasn’t ready to embrace it again just yet, but after many late-night talks, I understood her motives. My mom had been a young, scared teenager when I was placed in her arms. And though I was born out of a tragedy, she found beauty in me, and she’d given up so much for me to chase my dreams.
I earned a few scholarships that helped get me to California, but I had still fallen short of what I needed. That was, until I found out Mom had been saving for my college fund religiously since I was born. Dad didn’t have anything to offer me, other than a pat on the back at graduation, and I hadn’t spoken to him since.