“Well, I wouldn’t be yelling if my employees would do their damn job.”
Savannah flinches, and I feel like an asshole because she doesn’t deserve that. I’ve been on edge since my dad died, feeling as though I’ve been pushed into the middle of the ocean with a weight attached to my ankle. I’m drowning, and no matter what I do, I can’t come up for air. But regardless of how I feel, neither she nor my assistant deserves to be spoken to like that.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, taking a calming breath. “I just have a lot going on right now—”
“I brought lunch.” She holds up a brown bag. “How about you take a break to eat, and then you can go back to yelling afterward?” she says dryly. I do a double take at her words. They sound like a joke, yet her face shows she’s dead serious.
My assistant, of course, uses the moment to make her escape.
“I was actually in the middle of—”
“Working, I know, and it will still be there after lunch. But right now, you’re going to sit your ass down and have lunch with your girlfriend, who brought lunch for her and her boyfriend. The same damn boyfriend she misses very much.” Her words start off strong, but by the time she gets to the end, her voice is cracking, right along with my goddamn heart.
I cut across the room and pull her into my arms. Her shoulders slump, and her head drops against my chest. “I miss you,” she murmurs. “I know you’re grieving, and it’s going to take time, but I miss you and so does Brody.”
“Baby, what are you talking about?” I tip her chin up, confused as hell. “I’m right here.”
“Your body, yes, but your head…your heart…it’s like you’re lost, and I’m getting scared,” she whispers. “Every day, it feels like you pull further away, and I… I’m terrified I’m going to lose you.”
Her phone goes off, and she quickly checks it, types back to whoever it is, and then pockets it.
“Who was that?” I ask.
“Brody.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he wanted to make pizza for dinner.”
“Oh…well, I don’t know if I’ll be home. I have a shit ton to do and—”
“Nobody planned for you to be,” she snaps. “That’s the problem. You’re here.” She backs out of my arms and spreads her own. “All the time.”
“Excuse me?”
“Nobody planned for you to be home. Just like you haven’t been home a single night in the past month before midnight…if you come home at all. And when you do come home, you’re back here at the crack of dawn. And you’re not even going to the gym.”
“What are you talking about?” I think back to the past several weeks. Yeah, I’ve been dealing with the shitstorm my dad left me, but…
“When’s the last time we had sex?”
I try to remember, but I can’t…
“Ben, are you going to leave?” she asks softly, hesitantly. “Because Brody asked, and if you are, I just…I need to know.” Her words are the sword that cuts through the fog in my head. I’ve been so lost in my own grief that I’ve blocked everyone and everything out, focusing on what I can do without even thinking…work. And in doing so, I’ve pushed away the two people who mean the most to me.
“Fuck, Sav. No. No.” I lift her by her ass and carry her over to my desk, not giving a shit about anything but showing her that I’m sorry and that I’m not going anywhere.
I pull her shirt up and kiss my way down the center of her chest. Pushing the cups of her bra down, I take one of her pert nipples into my mouth.
“Ow.” She jumps slightly.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just been a little while…”
“Too long,” I agree, bringing my mouth to hers. “I’m so sorry,” I murmur against her lips, needing her to know that. Needing her to understand.
I break our kiss to give her breasts some more attention. The harder I suck, the louder she groans, begging me for more.
She hikes her skirt up and frantically grabs for my pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them quickly. Within seconds, her legs are spread, her underwear is moved to the side, and I’m thrusting into her cunt that was made for me.
Fuck, I’ve missed this woman. What the hell was I thinking pushing her away? I wasn’t…and instead of her letting me, she pushed back, bringing me back to her. Every day since my dad’s death, she’s made sure I’m fed, leaving me food on the counter, taking care of my son when I was too fucked up in my grief to do it myself. For the past month, she’s stayed at my house, slept in my bed, and not once given up on me. She was afraid I was going to leave, and I need her to know that’s never going to happen. She’s it for me. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. She should never go a single day without knowing that, without knowing how much I love her and how much she means to me.
I find her clit and massage it in small circles until her body is trembling under my touch, her cunt contracting and choking my dick. I lose myself in her, burying my face in her neck, inhaling her sweet scent, tasting her warm flesh. She’s mine. And I’m hers. And fuck if she’ll ever doubt that shit again.
I lift my head and look into her satiated gaze. There’s so much I want to say, but now isn’t the time. Not with me buried in her pussy anyway. So instead, I kiss her softly, keeping us connected for a little while longer.
“I love you,” I murmur against her lips when our kiss comes to an end.
Her entire body sags in relief, and I hate myself for allowing her to doubt that for even a second.
“No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything back, and that’s okay. I fucked up this last month. Put my grief above her and my son. It’s going to take time, but I’ll show them that I’m not going anywhere. They’re my number one priority, and I’ll make sure they know that.
After we clean up, Savannah grabs the bag of food and sets it on the table, handing me a box and a can of soda and placing hers in front of her. We’re sitting across from each other, but I need to be closer, to touch her and feel her. I can already feel my head starting to fog up again with shit about Dad, and I can’t let that happen.
I walk over to her and lift her off her chair, grabbing the box of food, and bring it with us to the couch, where I situate her on my lap. “What are you doing?” She laughs, the beautiful sound hitting my heart.
“That’s better.” I give her a quick kiss. “You were too far away.”
She opens the box of food, the smell of chicken lo mein wafting in the air, and scrunches her nose. “Ohh, I think it’s bad.” She closes the box back up. “We must’ve had it sitting too long when you distracted me with your dick.”
It doesn’t smell bad to me—in fact, it smells delicious—but when she drops the box onto the table and brushes her lips against mine, rearranging herself to straddle my lap, all thoughts of food evaporate. After all, Savannah is my favorite thing to eat.