“Yup. And now that I’ve got another thirty-five saved up, I could start school if I wanted to, but I’m afraid to because if something happens with Noah, I won’t have the money to help him.”
“And if I allow myself to be all in with Nobody’s Fool, I run the risk of it going wrong and me being left out in the cold again.”
“Something like that.”
We looked at each other.
“What do you really want?” she asked softly. “Like in your heart of hearts, the stuff that’s almost embarrassing to admit, what do you want?”
“I want to be on top again.”
“And you don’t think Nobody’s Fool can get there?”
“I don’t know. My rise to fame was a straight line at a pretty sharp angle. Nobody’s Fool is a winding road that’s barely moving north.”
“Is the winding road not fun? Do you not like being in the car with your bandmates and checking out all the different things there are to see on this less direct route?”
We were talking in metaphors, but it made sense. It also made it easier for me to articulate what I was feeling.
“I like the people I’m in the car with, but no, I don’t like opening for someone else and having to make my drum kit smaller to accommodate their stage setup. I don’t like being told we can only sell T-shirts in X location because the front of the concourse is for their stuff. And I really don’t like the fact that my bandmates can’t afford to enjoy the ride. I don’t mean that I’m upset that they’re not rich; my point is that I want them to be making money so we can all enjoy the ride instead of me and Ty being able to do anything we want while the others have to share rooms and eat at the venue every night because they don’t have the cash to go to a steakhouse. And yes, I’ve tried to pay but it embarrasses them, so I can only do it here and there.”
“Have you told them any of this?”
I shook my head. “I feel like it makes me sound like a spoiled ass.”
“It makes you sound honest. And human.”
“What about you? What do you want?”
“I want to move to L.A. and go to the culinary institute there where I can train to be a chef and maybe get a good job before I’m forty.”
“You’re moving?” I hadn’t been expecting her to be leaving Vegas.
“If I get into school. I have to apply this fall for next year. I hope to have fifty grand by then, which is the first year and a half. If I can work part-time, I might be able to save up the other half, which leaves me only two years of student loans instead of four.”
“Isn’t L.A. expensive?”
“Yes, but Kiki would move with me and we could share rent and stuff.”
“What about Noah?”
She sighed. “That’s a new development. I didn’t know Kiki had a thing for him and now he’s all but living with us.”
“You don’t like that they’re together?”
“I do, but it can go wrong in so many ways. He could fall off the wagon and hurt both himself and her. She could decide he’s not worth the trouble and break his heart, which would for sure cause him to spiral. And finally, he could get her into drinking and partying, and they could go down that road to disaster together.”
“It’s a slippery slope,” I agreed, “but they’re adults.”
“I know. And, if they do go down some unexpected path, then Kiki won’t come with me to L.A. and I’ll have to reassess everything. Again.”
“Let’s make a deal,” I said, squeezing her hand. “Let’s not worry about Nobody’s Fool or culinary school or Noah or any of it for two weeks. Let’s go out on dates, have a lot of sex, and get to know each other. Let’s just forget all the stressors in our lives and be together. What do you think?”
“I think you’re a genius,” she said, chuckling. “I still have to work, though.”
“And I have to take care of a little band business, which I’ll do while you’re at work. But when we’re together, we don’t talk about any of it.”
“Deal.”
“Now. What kind of dress are you buying?”
Her head shot up and she looked at me blankly. “Dress?”
“For our dinner date tonight. You didn’t think I forgot, did you?”
“Actually, I forgot.” She laughed.
“I know. The prospect of going home to bed is a little all-encompassing, but I want to take you out tonight.”
“All right.” She nodded. “Let’s go shopping.”
I headed toward the mall.
* * *
I was sitting outside the fitting room when my phone rang and Tyler’s name flashed on the screen.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” He sounded serious. “You have a few minutes?”
“Just a few. I’m out with Bri, but what’s up?”
“I thought it might be time for us to talk. I was thinking maybe you’d come over for dinner one night this week. We could hang out and then Ariel would go do her own thing and we could talk. I feel like there’s something on your mind.”
“There’s a lot on my mind.” I thought about it for a minute. “Would it be all right if I brought Bri? I’d like you guys to get to know her. Maybe the girls could hang when we have our chat?”
“Is it serious?” he asked in surprise.
“It’s going in that direction,” I admitted.
“Well, sure. When?”
“Let me find out her work schedule and text you. That work?”
“Absolutely. Just let me know.” He paused. “I miss you, man.”
“I miss you too. I’ll text you in a little bit.” I disconnected just as Bri came out. She wore a short, slinky black dress with spaghetti straps, that flared out a little at the bottom, swirling around her thighs as she twirled for me.
“Oh, yeah,” I said, nodding. “That’s the one. Right there.”
She looked over her shoulder. “You sure? It’s not too—”
“It’s not too anything. It’s perfect. Buy it.”
She flashed me a gorgeous smile and then hurried back into the fitting room.
“She’s beautiful,” a middle-aged woman said, smiling at us. “I hope you appreciate her.”
“I do,” I said, nodding. “I absolutely do.”
And I meant it.
19
Brianna
* * *
Ariel Fox was a pop superstar, right up there with Katy Perry and Britney Spears. I’d never in my wildest dreams imagined myself sitting at a dinner table with her and her husband, along with my very famous rock star boyfriend. It was pretty fucking cool, but even more intimidating, and I’d been a nervous wreck all day. Once we were here, though, Tyler and Ariel were so sweet and down-to-earth, I forgot all about being nervous and started to have a good time.
Declan’s arm was casually slung along the back of my chair, as if we’d been dating forever instead of a few weeks, if you counted our one-nighters, and I’d suddenly begun to realize how lucky I was. He was the whole fucking package and I loved being with him. Tonight I kept sneaking peeks at him in my peripheral vision, taking in his handsome profile, the way he laughed, the way he looked at me whenever our eyes met. There had been fire between us since the first day I dumped those coffees on him, and though it had taken me a bit to get on board with this dating thing, I was crazy about him.