“Oh no, that’s horrible!”
“I know. I was just trying to get him to go to dinner and—”
“What do you mean, go to dinner? At the coffee shop?”
“No, no. His aunt, she invited him to dinner, and he was going to say no, so I accepted for him and he got really mad at me. He told me that just because we slept together, it didn’t give me the right to interfere in his life. He was just so mean and hurtful to me.”
“Oh Abby, I’m sorry. But you know he didn’t mean that, right?”
“He did mean it. That’s the thing. He doesn’t want anything from me. It was just sex. I’m such an idiot.”
“But you know he’s hurting, Abby. Don’t think about yourself for a second, okay?”
“I’m not, I’m—”
“Yes, you are. You’re looking at this from your point of view. But think about it from his. He just found out that his mother died—a mother he most probably never even knew, right?—and his father might have killed her?!”
“Yeah. He must have been pretty young when she died. I don’t think he’d ever even seen her until today.”
“What? He saw her today?”
“I mean in photographs that his aunt gave him.”
“Abby, I love you, but you’re being selfish. He must be so emotionally distraught right now. And I know you think because he’s your boss and he’s rich and powerful and he’s a man that he’s not going to be affected by this, but you know men. They have feelings, too. They’re sensitive. It sounds like this is something that he’s never even thought about dealing with, let alone getting therapy and talking it out with someone.”
“I know,” I said. “I guess he’s really hurting, huh?”
“Yeah. And I know he was mean and he was cruel, and he shouldn’t have been, but don’t judge him. You know, when Jack and I started dating, he wasn’t always the nicest guy, and he said a lot of things that hurt my feelings. But it wasn’t because he wanted to hurt me. It was because he was lashing out, and he just didn’t know how to process his emotions. Men aren’t like women, especially men that have been closed off. It seems like Dylan has been very closed off all of his life.”
“Yeah, I think so. But whatever. It doesn’t matter. He’s just my boss.”
“But you like him,” she said softly. “You like him as more than your boss, Abby.”
“What do you mean? Just because I slept with him?”
“I can tell. The way you’ve spoken about him, the way you were together on the dance floor that night—you like him, and that’s okay. I understand why you’re anxious, and I understand why you don’t want to be in this position because it leaves you vulnerable. You don’t know where it’s going, and that’s okay. That’s what I’ve learned in life. No matter how much we plan, no matter how much we want something, if it’s not for us, we won’t have it. But if it is …”
“Yes?” I said, hanging on her words. “If it is, what?”
“Well, I was going to say if it is for us, nothing can stop it, not time, not a person, nothing. And if he’s your one—”
“He doesn’t believe in ones.”
“It doesn’t matter if he believes in ones, Abby. You do.”
“I know, but if—”
“No. Listen to me. You just don’t know what’s going to happen, okay? Where are you right now?”
“Some random street in Edinburgh.” I managed a rueful chuckle. “Honestly, I have no idea.”
“Is he with you? Or nearby?”
“No, I left him.”
“Go back to the hotel. Just be there for him. Listen to him. Talk to him. Occupy his mind. I’m sure he’s hurting right now.”
“I guess that was selfish of me to leave, huh?”
“It’s okay. He hurt you, and he needs to know that he can’t talk to you like that, but it sounds like he’s in pain. And I know when I’m in pain, even when I don’t want to talk about it, I do want someone to be there for me.”
“You’re so smart, Isabella.” I sighed. “And you’re right. I shouldn’t have pushed everything on him. I should have just been there as a friend.”
“It’s not too late, Abby,” she said. “Go to the hotel. Go and find him. Just be that shoulder for him to cry on if he needs it.”
“Oh, you don’t know Dylan McAllister. He’s not going to cry on my shoulder.” I couldn’t even picture it.
“Yeah, he might not physically cry, but I’m sure it will make him feel a lot better to know that you’re there for him.”
“You’re right,” I said. “And even if he doesn’t want me there, at least I tried, which is better than just running away in anger, I guess.”
“Don’t put yourself down, Abby. But remember, men are weird creatures, and we have to allow them to find themselves. They’re not like us. They don’t always know what they want, not until they’ve lost it. And, well, I don’t think you want to get to that point, right?”
“Get to what point?”
“The point of no return,” she said softly. “I think you’re falling in love, Abby. And who knows? Maybe he’s falling in love with you as well.”
I snorted. “Unlikely. Okay, let me find the hotel, and see what I can do. I better be going now. My phone bill’s going to be absolutely astronomical.”
“Call me if you need anything else, and feel free to call collect. I’ll pick up anytime.”
“Thanks, Isabella. I love you.”
“I love you, too. And enjoy Edinburgh, okay?”
“I will. Bye.”
I stood there for a few minutes after we hung up, watching random strangers pass me on the street. She was right, of course. I had thought about it from his perspective, but not deeply enough. I was an outsider, and what his aunt had said hadn’t affected me as much. But he must be in so much pain right now. What a huge burden to bear. No wonder he’d lashed out.
And what had I done? I just walked away.
I had to go back to him. Isabella was right. I was falling in love with him. And I needed him to know I was there for him, whatever he was going through.
Chapter 38
Abby
* * *
There was no sign of Dylan in the hotel lobby. I headed for the elevator. If he wasn’t in the room either, I wasn’t sure what I would do. Maybe I’d go to a pub and get a drink and wait for him. It wasn’t like I had many options.
I felt a little disgusted with myself as I made my way to the room. I’d overreacted, or rather, not overreacted but taken something personally that I shouldn’t have. I’d made the situation about me when really, it was about Dylan.
Isabella had been a good friend to tell me the truth. A lot of times, friends tell us what we want to hear to make us feel better about a situation. But right now, I was the one in the wrong. He’d hurt my feelings, but if I stepped back, I could understand why he’d done it.