I stand rooted to the spot, lost in my thoughts over what she said.
I’ve had a lifetime of people telling me my impulsive streak is detrimental to me. When you hear something often enough, that shit embeds itself in your soul. It becomes just another trigger for your darkness to stand the fuck up and say “Hey, Jack, let’s play today” or “Hey, Jack, let’s not fucking play for a while”. I still haven’t figured out which of those scenarios is worse. Constance has helped me see that taking control of my impulsive tendencies is essential, and I agree. But fuck, having someone I care for deeply tell me that one of the things I’ve tried like hell to rid myself of is a gift, that’s a gift to me.
A couple of minutes pass and then she looks back up at me and says, “Call Rose. We need a publicist.”
This woman.
She fucking owns my heart even if she doesn’t want it.
How I’ve survived without her for the last six years I have no idea.
11
Jessica
Mira: I’ve made you a playlist on Spotify for the weekend.
Jessica: Okay?
Mira: You might need it for when the girls get rowdy.
Jessica: It’s barely 6am, Mira. I haven’t had coffee yet. I’m gonna need a little more of an explanation than that.
Will: Meditation playlist.
Jessica: You guys are acting like I’ve never looked after your kids before. I’m going to be fine.
Will: If the meditation fails, there’s always my punching bag in the garage.
Mira: I could try and score some weed for you. Do you remember how to smoke it?
Jessica: Oh, Mummy, do you remember what it is?
Mira: Love you, girl. Gotta run xx
Will: How’s Jack?
Jessica: Wow, you don’t even ask me how I am anymore.
Will: I figure if Jack’s still alive, you’re okay.
Jessica: He still has some breath left in him.
Will: Good. If you feel the need to kill him, can you hold off until after the weekend? You aren’t of any use to me in jail.
Jessica: I don’t love you.
Will: Right back at you.
Will: Also, just because I’m not bringing up the social media posts about you doesn’t mean I didn’t see them. Jack better have that under control.
“Morning.”
I glance up from my phone just in time to stop myself from running into Jack who is standing in the hallway talking with Axe. “Morning.”
“The guys are almost ready for our run,” Jack says.
I slide my phone into the pocket of my running tights and throw my hair up into a ponytail as I eye Axe. “I hope you’re sending your fastest runners. I don’t run slow.”
Axe doesn’t look pleased to still be here. He was meant to leave yesterday when the other men arrived, but one of them came down with a vomiting bug on the flight so Axe had to stay. He’s a man of few words but he appears to be very good at what he does. Still, he isn’t too happy or friendly. Not that I blame him. The guy was in the middle of a long overdue holiday that got interrupted when Jack demanded Zane send someone ASAP and now he’s stuck here.
“I’d rather not send anyone,” he says in the deepest of deep voices. “We’ve still got a crowd camped out the front. Putting you two out there on a run isn’t the smartest thing to do.”
I’m about to tell him what I think of that when Jack says, “They won’t hurt us if they’re kept away, and your men are doing a good job of that. We’re not going to lock ourselves away for the week because of them.”
Axe gives him a tight nod. “Two men will stay at the house. We’ll have a car in front, a car behind, and two of my guys running with you. We leave in five.”
With that, he strides down the hall towards the front door.
I look at Jack. “I like him.”
“He reminds me of you.”
“Yes, very disciplined and efficient.”
“Very vigorous in his commitment to taking charge.”
“I’m taking that as a compliment.”
“You should, sweetheart.” He studies me for a moment. “How are you?”
“Awake. Ready to run.”
“That’s not what I’m asking.”
“I know what you’re asking, and let’s not discuss it.”
Regret flashes in his eyes. “If I thought I could sue all their asses and have them take all the stories down, I would. I’m sorry this happened.”
He’s referring to all the social media posts, news reports, and gossip speculating that we’re back together. Stories appeared throughout the night sharing all kinds of misinformation. Jack’s quit Hollywood for me; he’s moved back to Australia to be with me; I’m the reason for him ending up in hospital last year; I’m going to send him straight back to hospital when I break his heart again (seriously?); I’m a money-hungry bitch who stole Hollywood’s favourite action hero.
Give me a fucking break.
I’d forgotten how much I detest this part of Jack’s life.
I feel exhausted by it already, and it’s only just begun. I honestly don’t know how he lives with it.
“You don’t need to keep apologising. I know you’d do anything to change what’s happened. Let’s just deal with it and get on with life.” When he doesn’t say anything straight away, I throw out, “What happened to the fish you caught yesterday? And don’t tell me you didn’t catch any. I find that hard to believe when you’ve spent years perfecting your talent for sitting in a tiny boat for hours on end holding another one of those sticks you seem to like holding.”
He appears to fight with himself over being amused by that versus continuing the line of questioning he was pursuing. In the end, he says, “Bob took the fish home. You’ll be proud to know that stick of mine caught many fish.”
Axe interrupts to let us know it’s time to run. I’m grateful for the interruption. My head is all over the place this morning. I spent half the night tossing and turning after seeing the first lot of stories about us publish late last night. It’s stirred up too many memories for me and has become a reminder of what my life was like when I was with Jack.
Loving Jack was easy. Living with one of the most famous actors on the planet was hard.
I didn’t know who Jack was when I met him on a Positano beach in Italy all those years ago. He’d starred in his first Hollywood blockbuster a year before but was already famous for other films prior to that. I, however, didn’t dedicate time to watching movies or keeping up with celebrities. I was too busy getting my business degree.
I celebrated achieving that degree with a trip to the UK and Italy. Jack and I collided on the beach when a child distracted me. The rest was history.
My ignorance of who he was captivated him.
His sexy grin and sense of fun captivated me.
We spent twelve straight hours talking and laughing, and didn’t leave each other’s side for a week.
Jack inspired an uncharacteristically spontaneous decision when he convinced me to explore Rome and Venice with him that week. How he managed to avoid the press, I don’t know, but he did. We had seven days of bliss, and there was no going back for me after that.