“Did you go to the police when you got older?”
“No. It would have been my word against his, and he’s got a lot of money and resources. But I like to think about how angry he probably got when he discovered my secret drawings after I ran away.”
“What do you mean?”
“He was always banishing me to my room without meals, and I wanted to get back at him, but I knew he’d hurt me. So I rebelled by moving my dresser away from the wall and drawing on the wall behind it. I have a tattoo on my back of a little girl climbing through a tunnel behind her dresser. The escape route I’d always wished I’d had. By the time I ran away at sixteen, I had drawn on the walls behind every piece of furniture in my room that I was able to move and on the backs of the furniture, too. I wish I could have been there to see him find those drawings. Maybe he never did, but I like to think he did and that they made him lose his mind. He was such a perfectionist. Everything always had to be in its place. Just now, I was dreaming that I was drawing behind the dresser when he came to get me for school the next morning. I pushed the furniture back against the wall and sat on the edge of my bed the way he required that I wait for him every morning. I was counting, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, as he inspected the room. I knew exactly how long it took. If one thing was out of place in my bedroom or if I looked the littlest bit disheveled, I’d get hurt or told how worthless I was.”
“Is that why your place is so neat?”
She nodded. “I tried to mess it up, but it gave me anxiety.”
“Does my mess give you anxiety?”
“No, actually, it makes me feel even better about you. Most girls probably want a guy who puts everything in its place. But not me.” She sighed, feeling good about sharing these things with him. “Growing up, it was always yes, sir, no, sir. I was made to look him in the eye when we were in public, but never in private because that could piss him off. That morning I was dreaming about, when I walked out of the bedroom, I thought I was safe, but then he said my name. Catherine. That’s what he called me, and that’s when I woke up from the dream. But I remember that morning as clearly as if it were yesterday. He’d grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked me back to the doorway, pointing to my pencil on the floor. I must have dropped it in my panic to put the dresser in place. I got lucky that morning. He only scolded me, told me it was no wonder my mother didn’t love me, and sent me to school without breakfast. Some days were good like that.”
“It makes me sick to think about you being treated that way, especially by someone you should have been able to trust to protect you. And for him to try to take away your mother’s love? He’s a fucking coward, a goddamn bully, hurting a little girl like that. I’d like to teach that asshole a lesson.”
“You can’t think like that. It took me years to get the courage to run away, and once I did, I fought tooth and nail to keep him from finding me. I went from being Catherine to Cait, which is what my adoptive mother had called me, but I spelled it K-A-T-E and used fake last names. If you went to see him, I’d be thrown right back into that nightmare.”
“But you’re still living it, babe,” he said gently. “You deserve closure, and he needs to pay for what he’s done.”
She touched her forehead to his chest, feeling the steady beat of his kind heart, and she didn’t fight the urge to press a kiss there. It felt good not to be afraid to lie with him and to kiss him like that. She scooted higher so they were face-to-face. “Tank wanted to do the same thing and I wouldn’t let him, either. But he did track my father down to see if he was still looking for me. I don’t know how Tank found out that he wasn’t without talking to him, but the Wickeds have connections everywhere. He’s still working at the same practice in Connecticut he’d worked at when I was a kid, only now he’s a partner. Tank has Dark Knights in the area keeping tabs on him. If they get wind of him hurting anyone else, they’ll have him arrested. But according to Tank, he has no one in his life outside of work.”
“That’s good, but I still don’t like it. A guy like that shouldn’t be out there walking around.”
“I know, and I feel guilty about that, but I was just a kid when I ran away, and I was focused on surviving. And now it’s been sixteen years, and it would still be my word against his. There are no medical records showing abuse, and I’m sure if his parents are still around, they’d deny anything I said. He’s not looking for me, Brant. I don’t know if he ever did, or if he just said I ran away and let it go at that. I’d imagine he looked for me if for no other reason than to keep up appearances, but I’m sure he was glad I was gone, and I don’t want to open that door again. It took a long time for me to settle down in any one place, and despite the stuff that sometimes messes with my head, I’m happy with my life. I just found my sisters and you, and I’ve got the Wickeds, and I love my work. And now that I’ve told you everything, I realize that I don’t want my past to define my future anymore. I want to make a concerted effort to move forward, and if that makes me a bad person for not trying to fight a bitter battle that won’t end in my favor, then it does, and I’ll understand if you don’t want to be with me.”
“Cait, that’s not at all how I feel. I want to be with you, and nothing is going to change that. I just wish you had the closure you deserve.” He kissed her softly. “You are one brave girl, Cait Weatherby.” He cocked his head. “Is Weatherby your real last name?”
“Yes. I worked for cash wherever I could find jobs, so I didn’t have to give my real last name, until I started working for Tank. Believe it or not, I’ve done everything from scrubbing toilets to construction. That’s how I got into tattooing. I was drawing tattoos for some of the guys I worked with, and one of them introduced me to his tattooist. He hired me as his apprentice, and the rest is history.”
“From what Aiden said, you’re a whiz at math and computers, too.”
“Aiden and I are both math geeks.” A smile lifted her lips. “I have no idea where I get that from, but I worked on a housekeeping crew for a while, and one of the girls was taking an accounting class. She showed me a few things on her computer. I picked them up quickly, and she started showing me different accounting programs and procedures. When I realized how easy they were for me, I went to the library and used the computers to find online tutorials. That’s how I taught myself accounting and website development. I help Tank with the website, social media, and marketing, and I also help his parents with accounting at the Salty Hog when they need it. I updated their accounting and staff software a while ago. Anyway, after Tank found out my father wasn’t looking for me, he said I should either formally change my last name or use it, because he didn’t want to keep paying me under the table, and he didn’t want his parents to get in trouble, either. I didn’t want to change my name because it was my only link to my adoptive mother, so I took the leap and went back to Cait Weatherby. I was terrified that my father would show up, but I knew Tank would watch out for me, and my father never did come after me. Do you know what’s crazy?”
“Everything you’ve been through.”