Chapter Thirty-Three
I arrived at the mansion and went into the large family room, where I heard the others speaking, staring at the pictures that adorned the wall with fresh eyes. In each photo, Sandra had worn baggy clothes and was never near my father. He’d always had eyes for my—Noah’s mother. I didn’t hold Xavier’s love against him because I knew what it was and how it should feel. What I held against him were all the lies he’d told me throughout my life.
It was embarrassing, and it hurt me on a level so deep that I realized I hadn’t scratched the surface of the emotions stirring within me. How does one come back from that, from learning things about your life that you’d never imagined could be true? I wasn’t even fully able to breathe.
My attention shifted to the bar, where Noah was speaking to my father and the others. The plan they had decided on was morbid. Xavier would use a spell to appear as someone else to the people at the funeral. Anyone privy enough to know he’d returned from the grave wouldn’t see him as anything other than his new appearance.
Frowning, while tearing my stare from them, I turned my focus back to the pictures, studying Sandra. I wasn’t calling her mother. Titles were earned, and neither of my parents deserved the familial term. I’d been a shield and nothing more to them when I was born.
I left the downstairs, heading to the room, still decorated in baby shit. My father had suggested I use it, like a sitting duck waiting for a hunter to perfect his aim. Once inside, I slid to the bed where I’d hidden my things. Dropping the bag of identification cards and petty cash, I slipped into the dress I’d borrowed for the funeral service this evening.
The outfit wasn’t anything fancy. The top had wispy shoulder straps tied into bows adorning my shoulders, dipping into an A-Line, which opened on the sides to leave a slip of skin exposed. The skirt was mid-thigh, with a small ruffle on the bottom. I’d chosen a pair of black, clunky heels that wouldn’t sink into the green earth of the courtyard.
Leaning against the railing of the balcony, I silently watched cars full of visitors pulling up for the service. It would be hours before they left, but that was normal when one of our own died. The wind rustled my loose hair, and I closed my eyes, allowing a moment of silence for the girl I was yesterday, preparing myself for who I was becoming.
I wasn’t that same girl. Where before, I’d been merely broken from something I’d done by mistake, now I was shattered. I was the pieces left from the lie that was my life, and this version of me was darker. This one wanted to hurt the people who hurt me. I wouldn’t, though, because no matter what had happened, Xavier hadn’t treated me badly. Minus the body alterations and the whole show he allowed to happen for the benefit of the fae. That stung the hardest.
“Don’t do that,” Kieran’s silky, dark voice whispered from the shadows. “Don’t let that pain control who you are, Xariana.”
“Do you need something? I don’t require a babysitter tonight,” I returned without looking at him.
“I wanted to make sure you’re not planning to run after the service is over.” He slowly settled beside me, peering at the people milling about. “I didn’t initiate this thing between us, Xariana. You did that when you projected your image to me and entered my space. In our world, it’s considered a challenge to find prey taunting a predator. You came to me, and I wasn’t leaving it at that. One taste, and I had to have you. What happened between us wasn’t me watching you, Little Savage. That was me hunting for what I craved.”
“Hunt someone else, psychopath. I’ve had enough of everything and everyone.” I turned to move away, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me up against him. “Let me go,” I demanded coldly.
“You’re mine, Xariana. I marked you, and that isn’t something I will take back, ever. I get it, your entire world was just fucked sideways, and you didn’t see any of it coming. You weren’t supposed to, though. Your father made a split-minute decision, one he had to show up for and own, or everything we did would have been for nothing. No woman would be safe from the fae or their need to eradicate this world by breeding out what they didn’t like. So suck it up and look at it from where he was standing. Xavier had two fae infants. One was a royal prince who would become king, housing an element. Then he had his mistress’s bastard daughter, who he never intended to love. He does, nevertheless. He loves you more than he ever intended.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better? How do you know what he feels? I don’t recognize that man down there. I thought I knew him, but I severely misjudged him.”
“You misjudged what? That he’d do anything needed to protect his family? That he poisoned you with iron so that if the fae tested you, they would find you impure, and leave you inside this world? That he raised you to be this savage little murderous thing that no one ever sees coming until your teeth are stuck in their fucking carotid artery, bleeding out? You survived iron arrows in front of three fae princes, Xariana. Had he not taken those precautions, the third that witnessed your magic, vanishing before I could stop him, would have returned to the Otherworld with a story of Xavier’s daughter wielding fae powers. They’d have never stopped hunting you.”
“Good thing you were a great babysitter then.” I yanked my arm away from him to reenter the room.
“I know you’re angry. Don’t make any stupid decisions while you’re in this blind rage, thinking that running is the only way to stop the pain. Leaving won’t stop that pain you’re itching to remove from your soul. It’s just a part of you now, Savage.”
“My name isn’t Savage.”
“I’ve known your name longer than you have, Xariana. I was here when your father decided your path. He made a deal for you to be protected one month after he’d chosen to claim you to keep his son safe. I saw the regret plaguing him. I watched him pick you up and hold you in this very room. He promised to do everything he could to get out of our bargain, and I did whatever it took to ensure nothing could ever break it. Not on the fae aspect, anyway. You looked like trouble, and I wasn’t willing to spend my days keeping you from getting scratches.”
My blood turned to ice in my veins as I turned, staring back at him. “What did you ask for in this deal with my dad?”
Kieran was the fucking King of Shadows. He was whispered about in the light, because saying his name in the dark would conjure him. Or so they feared. He hadn’t lied about what he enjoyed doing to people. I’d seen the truth of that madness burning in his stare as he spoke of it.
“I asked him for you,” he chuckled. “He isn’t willing to fulfill that agreement, though, which should tell you everything you need to know about how he feels about you. He’s the good guy. I’m the bad guy, but you don’t want to turn me into your villain. Your father owes me your hand by the stroke of midnight, on your twenty-fourth birthday. The day your fae genes will be cemented, and you’ll be of breeding age.” I glared at him, panic wrapping around my throat at what he was saying.
Digesting the information, I cocked my head before narrowing my gaze at him. “Why would he agree to that? If he loved me, why give me to the bogeyman?” I challenged.