A life.
A family.
And now, three beautiful children.
Staring down at her watching our son, I can’t help but think of how far we’ve come, how far I’ve come. And it’s because of this woman in front of me.
This strong, brave, beautiful woman.
She tilts her head up. “He’s really okay,” she chokes out.
My eyes burn as a press I kiss to her lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she rasps. “He’s okay, Malik. They said he’s okay now.”
I nod, swallowing past the lump in my throat.
Joan distracts Harlow, and it gives me the time to observe, to stare in wonder. To stare at the miracle of life.
Our son.
Our family.
My wife.
It had been a rough start; but what is life without its ups and downs? Although I wouldn’t wish what happened to me or my brothers on anyone, I sometimes wonder if it happened to us for a reason. There’s no denying it made each of us who we are; but maybe that’s who we needed to be to meet our other half.
I never believed in romantic crap until I met Harlow, never thought I was worthy of it—I still don’t sometimes. However, I’d go through it all over again if it brought me to this moment, to this life, because I can’t think of a better reward.
Today could have ended a lot differently; it went from bad to worse, and I’m truly grateful it’s all worked out.
And I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of the strong, brave, and beautiful women in our lives.
Harlow places our son into my arms, and I rock him gently side to side. I glance down at her beaming smile—although tired and worn out, still gorgeous. “I’ll make the same promise I made to you when the twins were born: I’ll never fail them. I’ll never fail you. And I’ll be the best husband, and the best father to you and our children.”
She lets out a contented sigh, her finger brushing over our son’s foot. “I know, Malik. You’ve never broken your promise to me,” she praises, and for a moment, we are lost in each other, in the moment, until her expression tightens and her gaze narrows. “Now tell me why the heck you were at the police station.”
“Shit!” Max hisses.
“Shit,” I groan, hoping she would have forgotten that part of the day.
From her tone, and from the sound of her fingers drumming impatiently on her lap, and the way her eyes squint to narrow on me, she is not going to make this easy on me.
Fucking Max.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Lily
Sweat and tears mingle together as my lower abdomen shrivels up in pain. I cry out, dropping my head back onto the cushions behind me.
Everything hurts.
Yet it’s my heart that is slowly killing me.
I need my husband.
Malik’s story was meant to make me feel better. It hasn’t. If anything, a growing panic has festered inside of me. He had Harlow, and Harlow had him. I’ve not got that, and I might not have it again.
One deceased.
The words are playing over and over in my head, pulling me further down into a sad dark pit of nothing.
Jaxon only wanted to help his brother. It was meant to be a quick trip there, and a quick trip back. He’s supposed to be with me, and with our family. We are meant to have our first Christmas dinner together, go to his mum’s and eat dessert, and play board games. We are meant to spend the night together, making the most of the time we have together until the baby is born.
And now…
Now I’m not sure what our future holds.
This morning we were so blissfully happy, but now… now my heart is tearing apart.
Faith’s grip tightens around my hand as she leans in, her tears falling and splashing against my arm. “See, everything will be okay, Lily. It’s going to be okay.”
I shake my head, sobbing uncontrollably. “W-will you try him again?”
“I will,” she promises, pulling her phone out.
“Can I just add, I was not crying,” Max defends. “My eyes were watering from the smell of the hospital.”
“You were crying,” Malik snaps.
“No, I really wasn’t. And if I was—and I’m not saying I was—have you ever thought that maybe it’s because I was traumatised.”
Mum grips my knees, and I blink up through my wet lashes at her. “Honey, I need to get your tights off, okay?”
As another contraction hits, and the pain of the contraction traps me in my own head, I nod, letting her do it. I can’t keep putting off the inevitable.
“Grab another blanket,” Mum orders Faith. “You lot, turn around and give us a moment of privacy.”
As Mum lowers my tights, Faith covers my bare legs, blocking anyone else from seeing down there except Mum.
I glance up at Faith, who has the phone back at her ear. “Any answer?”
Her lips tip down. “No, Lily, but I’ll keep trying. Maybe he doesn’t have signal, or his battery is low.”
“He took it off charge this morning,” I heave out, gripping the blanket beneath me.
No one said it will hurt this much. My pain tolerance is low on a normal day, but I have a feeling this is just as bad for those with a high pain tolerance.
“Myles, any update on the ambulance?” Mum calls out, and there’s something in her tone that has the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
“What’s wrong?” I whimper.
“Nothing,” she lies, not meeting my gaze.
Please let my baby be okay.
“Mum, please,” I plead, cutting off the blood supply in Faith’s hand as I tremble in fear.
“There’s just a little bit of blood,” she tells me, remaining calm.
I try to sit up, and Faith aids me. I glance down at the small spot on the blanket between my legs, and then see more on my tights and knickers in the corner. Horror fills me, and I glance at Mum. “There’s something wrong with my baby, isn’t there?” I stammer, beginning to feel faint.
My breathing picks up, and each breath becomes a struggle, each one tightening my lungs.
“We need you to try and calm down,” she soothes, lightly stroking my knees.
“Breathe, Lily,” Faith orders.
I struggle to take in a breath, to form a word, and black dots form before my eyes. I feel someone kneel down beside me, and a warm hand wrap around mine, pressing it against a hard chest. “Lily, feel my heart, feel it beat, and take a breath,” Maddox softly demands. “Take a breath.”
My baby.
Maddox’s heart races beneath my touch but begins to slow as I take in a breath. “One more,” he soothes.
“I’m already failing,” I cry out, falling back as I bear down, a heavy pressure in my vagina. “I knew this would happen.”
“You aren’t failing. Bleeding is normal,” Mum assures me.
“It’s not just the bleeding, it’s all of it,” I admit, my head flopping to the side as I begin to feel weak. “I’m not going to be a good mum. I’m going to be just like her.”
Mum kneels between my legs, and leans forward, cupping my cheeks. “Sweet girl, you are nothing like that woman. All your uncles, and your dad, have all had their say, and I know your bond with them is stronger—it always has been. But it’s my turn, sweetie.” She uses one of the towels to dab the sweat and tears away. “You might not share my DNA, but you are my daughter in every way that counts and matters. You are a part of me, blood or not. And I’m telling you straight, you are nothing like that woman. You don’t have it in you. Because whereas you share her DNA, you don’t have her heart. And Lily, your heart is pure.”