“I know. Fuck, do I know. I just needed her to know it wasn’t intentional. I really am sorry, Jaxon. Truly.”
“I want to say I know and it’s okay, but I’m still pissed. And after hearing everyone else’s take on the day, I can’t move past that anger. Not yet anyway.”
“I get it. I do. I’d be the same if it was reversed. But just so you know, I’m kicking myself enough.”
“I do know that,” I admit.
“Congratulations, bro. I’ll be back round later. I think Mum has us coming in twos, so Lily isn’t overwhelmed with guests.”
I lift my chin in understanding. “Thanks for coming and for apologising.”
“Yeah.”
He leaves and I’m left to my own thoughts. I don’t want to be hard on him, but I can’t help it. What he did was reckless and stupid. He not only put himself at risk, but he also put me and Wyatt at risk. But what I can’t forgive or forget any time soon is that he put Lily and our daughter at risk. When Maverick filled me in on everything I missed once Lily was asleep, my heart tore in two. She went through the wringer, and I wasn’t there for her.
“He really is sorry,” Mum announces, startling me. I didn’t hear her walk in.
“Yeah, but he needs to learn, Mum. What he did could have ended badly.”
“I think this will be a wakeup call. I think you forget that people make mistakes. You’ve always been head-strong and determined. You don’t know what it’s like to make a mistake.”
“I make mistakes, Mum. I just don’t make stupid ones like Reid.”
“Because you had no other choice. And that’s my fault. You took too much on far too young after we lost your father.”
“Mum—”
“No, I don’t need you to make me feel better. Just please, go easy on him, Jaxon. He might act like he doesn’t give a shit about anything, but you boys are everything to him. Lily is like a sister to him, and he cares for her a great deal. So please, go easy.”
I give it some thought. “Alright, Mum, I’ll try. I just need some time.”
She leans up, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “That’s all I can ask for.”
“Thanks for everything, Mum. Maverick said you and Teagan got everything finished in the nursery and made sure we had everything ready for when we got back.”
“It’s my pleasure,” she croons, gazing into the living room where Lily holds our daughter. “I’m so proud of you, son. And if your dad were here, he’d say the same thing.”
“Mum,” I rasp.
“He would. You’re a good man. A great husband. And you’re going to make a fantastic dad. I couldn’t be any prouder than I am right now, my boy. You’ve done yourself proud.” She takes a breath, composing herself. “Lily, she’s special, and I love her for you. What you are building will only grow and I wish it for you, son. I wish you all the happiness in the world because you deserve it.”
I pull her in for a side hug, kissing the top of her head. “Mum, I’m the man you raised me to be. Thank you.”
She lightly smacks my arm. “Go be with your family. I’ll go and check on the dinner.”
I watch her leave, letting her words sink in. I guess everyone is feeling the emotions running high in the air.
Lily and I aren’t building a beautiful life, we already have that. What we will have in our future is just a bonus. And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, our future is going to be amazing.
It couldn’t be anything less, not with Lily at my side.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lily
Leaving Jaxon to talk to his brother, I begin to feel like I should have said more. I know he’s mad at Reid. I know a lot of people are. But I meant what I said. Reid had no clue he was going to be cut off or that I’d take it the wrong way. They can’t blame him for that. It could have been anyone on the other end of the call and I would have freaked out all the same.
Still, as I turn, Reid’s shoulders slump, and I want to go back over and make it better. After all, they wouldn’t be so mad if I hadn’t reacted badly.
My heart still has that ache inside it whenever I think of ‘what if’.
However, Jaxon is right. I can’t keep going on like this; scared he’ll leave and not come back. I’ll still worry; I always will. The man trying to mess with his business hasn’t helped. He’s already tried to kill him—us—by setting a house on fire. I’m scared of the lengths he will go to next. Jaxon protects me from it, but I know it’s weighing on him. I know it’s getting dangerous.
I guess Reid’s phone call and my reaction all festered from that. It’s something I’ve been scared will happen for a while. That dreaded phone call to tell me Jaxon is hurt, or worse… that he’s been killed.
“Get off your feet,” Dad lightly orders.
“I never got this treatment when Sunday was born,” Aiden mutters.
Dad pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s because you didn’t give birth.”
“Parenting is parenting,” Aiden retorts.
Dad freezes. “Son, do not say that in front of a woman. Ever. Especially one who has had a child,” he scolds.
Aiden grimaces. “Sorry.”
“Go help out in the kitchen,” Dad orders.
Mum places Rose in my arms, and I can’t seem to pull my gaze away from her sleeping form.
There are pieces of my heart I didn’t know existed until the moment she was born. I loved her before. I loved her with everything I had for nine months, but the moment she was born, my world got bigger, my heart grew fuller, and my life started down a new path—one I feared but am now excited for.
“She’s beautiful, Lily,” Mum declares softly.
And it hits me; how lucky I am to have such an incredible, kind, loving family.
I nod, my eyes welling up with tears. No one told me my hormones would be worse after giving birth, so the tears come at random.
“I love her so much. I’m scared to put her down. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real,” I admit quietly, not wanting to disturb her sleeping.
“We felt the same with you lot. It passes quickly with boys though,” Dad teases.
My gaze flicks to Jaxon, checking to see if he’s okay. He’s still in a heated discussion with Reid. I bite my lip, turning back to Dad to reply. “I don’t think this will ever pass.”
My heart is filled with so much love.
Mum wraps her arm around me. “It won’t. It expands and grows, but it will never pass.”
“I feel silly,” I admit.
“What about?”
“For thinking I’ll ever be anything like her. For being scared I’ll make a terrible mum. For all of it.”
Dad’s jaw tightens. “Lily—”
“It’s fine. I realise now how ridiculous it was to think like that. I let my fears fester. I let her get into my head. She wasn’t a mother. She was just a woman. A cruel, sadistic woman. And I know that now. I know it because the moment I held Rose in my arms, I became a mother. I felt it. And I know I’ll never let anything or anyone hurt her,” I explain, before turning to Mum. “But it’s more than that. You showed me with words and with actions what a mother’s love is. I just never knew how much you loved me until I had Rose. Until I understood the meaning of a mother’s love. I love you, Mum. I love you so much and I’m so grateful for everything.”