The front door opened again.
I pushed Constance out of the way and fired the second I saw his face.
Bartholomew ducked and barely missed the bullet. He righted himself a moment later, brushed off the dust from his jacket, and then stepped into the room. “I need to speak to you in private—”
“They took Claire! I don’t have time for your bullshit, Bartholomew.”
He glanced at Constance before he looked at me again. “That’s why I’m here.”
I was too angry to think straight. The second Constance called me, my vision had tinted red, and all I wanted was to kill every motherfucker associated with Forneus. I would burn that place to the ground and everyone in it.
Constance silently excused herself, her cries echoing all the way down the hallway, even when the bedroom door was closed.
I stared at Bartholomew, so livid that a migraine immediately appeared at my temple. My broken heart was working so hard, harder than it ever had, and it strained every vessel and joint.
Once Constance was gone, his hard expression fell, revealing the softer side of him I barely saw. He came closer and kept his voice low even though Constance couldn’t hear a word. “He wants a trade. Claire for Constance.”
“You knew about this—”
“He called me after it had already happened. He said she’s in a room with a TV and some toys, completely unharmed. She’s asking when you’re going to come get her.”
The rage dwindled, and some of the tears I’d been fighting came through.
There wasn’t a hint of judgment in his eyes. “I don’t think you have a choice here, Benton.”
“We could kill him instead.”
“I have no idea where he is, and even if I could hunt him down, you’re putting Claire at risk.”
I closed my eyes, more tears coming at just the thought.
His hand went to my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
I shoved his hand away as I collapsed in the chair. The room started to spin. My heart turned inside out, and the blood seeped deep into my chest cavity. The pain was so raw, so potent, that I could barely handle it. I felt my body grow weak, like it wanted to stop working just to spare me the pain. Like death was the only solution that my mind could handle right now.
He pulled up a chair and sat right across from me, the guns on the surface between us. He stared for a long time, waiting for me to speak whenever I was ready to. When nothing came, he spoke again. “He said once the trade is made, you’ll never have any kind of interaction with him again. You and Claire can live your lives without fear. If you try to take Constance back…then he’ll kill Claire.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, the kind that made my eyes water in a different way. I felt so much rage but had nowhere for it to go. I felt so much sorrow that my heart couldn’t contain it any longer.
At least ten minutes passed, and nothing was said. Helpless, all I could think about was my daughter trapped in a room, waiting for me to come get her. I’d come for her last time—and she knew I would come again. But it came at a price…a price so heavy that it was like a Clydesdale standing on my chest.
He rose to his feet. “I’ll get the time and place…and let you know.”
“We do this now.” My eyes dropped to the table, thinking about my little girl surrounded by those freaks. Whenever she was scared, she crawled underneath furniture and pulled her knees to her chest. I knew she was doing that now—and it broke my heart. “I’m not…I’m not leaving her there for a second longer than I have to.”
Constance had stopped crying.
While her eyes were red and her cheeks puffy, the rest of her skin was pale white, like the snow we rarely had in Paris. She sat beside me, the fire in the hearth so dead that the coals weren’t even red anymore. All she did was breathe in and out—each one deep and purposeful.
We were quiet for a long time, neither one of us able to speak to the other. That morning, it was a regular day. We had breakfast, took Claire took to school together, and then spent the rest of the day in each other’s company.
But that dream was shattered when we lost Claire.
Now there was nothing but frost between us.
Constance was the first one to break the silence. “What’s the plan?” She gave a loud sniff before she wiped her nose with her wrist.
The words didn’t come to me.
“What did Bartholomew say?”
I stared at my hands clutched tightly together, my phone sitting on the table with a dark screen. I waited for it to ring, waited for the appointment to be made. “Baby.” I wanted my daughter back to the exclusion of everything else, so the choice was simple, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. It didn’t make me feel less barbaric, less disloyal. I didn’t just have one girl—but two. And I was throwing one to the wolves to protect the other. “Forneus will return Claire…in exchange for you.”
The deep breaths stopped.
The silence was so profound it was as loud as a scream.
There was no point in holding back. It needed to be done—quick and painless. “I’ve agreed.” I forced myself to raise my chin and look her in the eye, to face this decision like a man.
Instead of being full of despair, her eyes relaxed, like this was the sign of hope she’d been looking for. “When?”
I hesitated because I’d expected a different reaction. “Tonight.”
She gave a firm nod as her hands clasped together. “Okay.”
Her participation didn’t make this better. Only worse. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be. As long as Claire is safe…I don’t care.”
The next breath I took hurt so fucking much. “He said if I try to get you back…he’ll kill Claire.”
She nodded, as if she was prepared for that. “I’ll be fine, Benton.” She turned to stone, her face expressionless, her body motionless. There were no tears. No sign of fear. She took her sentence like a man.
“I’m going to get you back.” My heart ached as I stared at her because she was my whole world, exactly as Claire was.
She slowly turned to regard me, her eyes pained. “You just said they would kill Claire if you tried—”
“How can they kill Claire if they’re all dead?”
“Benton, no.” She pivoted on the couch, so she faced me head on. “It’s not worth the risk. I don’t want you to do it.”
“Baby, I can’t just leave you there—”
“You’re going to because I’d rather die there than risk something happening to her. You know I’m right.”
I’d been through a lot of tough shit, like when Claire was taken from me for months and I had no idea where she was. But this was harder, being faced with this horrible decision. The longer I dragged it out, the longer Claire was locked up, and the harder it became for me to even think straight. It was like a hand had a grip on my heart, constricting so hard that it couldn’t beat.
“You know you can’t. I wouldn’t want you to.”
I dropped my gaze, feeling worthless in that moment.
Her hand reached for mine, and she squeezed it—comforting me when I should be comforting her. “I always knew I was on borrowed time. I always knew this freedom was short-lived. I always knew I would end up back there…”