We took a chopper just the way Benton had, and when we landed next to the trees, they were caked in snow. It was February now, the end of winter, and hopefully spring would bring a new beauty to this place.
Maybe I could learn to appreciate it.
If I wanted to survive, I had to convince Forneus I was the real deal, that I truly was a fallen angel, walking among mortals.
But did I want to survive?
Not really.
Not anymore.
Without Benton and Claire, my spirit was officially broken.
We walked through the tree line and saw the cabins scattered among the trees and statues. It was exactly as I’d left it, still and quiet, covered with a blanket of Malevolent that peered through the eye sockets of their skulls.
Home sweet home.
Instead of taking me back to my old cabin, he escorted me up the hill to his, past the church that he used as a confessional. The Malevolent were everywhere, and there seemed to be more than before.
He stepped inside his cabin, where a fire was already burning in anticipation of his arrival.
The door was shut, and we were alone, but my heart didn’t race like it used to. I was totally numb, unable to feel fear or anything else, not even stress. Once you didn’t care if you lived or died, you were granted overwhelming peace. That was how I felt now. Whether he gave me a piece of paper, a pill, or just wanted to talk, it made no difference.
Claire was safe. That was all I cared about.
He took a seat in the armchair, his eyes looking me over like it was the first time he’d seen me, like he couldn’t believe I was real.
I took a seat too, finally comfortable in a chair because I didn’t have those bulky wings behind me anymore. The costume had been warm, though. Now I was in just a blouse and jeans, and that didn’t protect me from the cold. Not the way Benton’s body did. Not the way his fireplace did. Not the way the love in my heart did.
With his elbows on his knees, Forneus stared, his eyes steady and locked on my face.
We spent the next thirty minutes that way, him enjoying his prize.
I looked at the fire, forgetting he was there most of the time.
One thing did hurt. I’d told Benton I loved him…and he didn’t say it back. I wished we’d been together a little longer because perhaps he would have said it then, would have made my sacrifice a little easier. But maybe it was better that he didn’t. Maybe it would be easier for him to move on…and forget about me.
“I missed you, An-gel.”
My eyes shifted back to Forneus.
“I’ve worshiped you in your absence. I never forgot you—not for a single day.”
I figured.
“Now that you’re with your demon again, everything will be as it should be.”
Maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, I would end up in that graveyard too. A blank tombstone would stick out of the dirt. When the cult was over and someone new moved in, they would find the bones, but I would never be identified. My body would be far too decayed by then—as if I’d never existed at all. “I’m sorry that my absence has taken such a toll on you. I’m here now—for whatever you need.” It was so easy to lie, to play the character he wanted, because I didn’t care anymore.
Slowly, his face pulled back in his ridiculous smile. He showed all his teeth, every single one, somehow making his jaw move in ways it shouldn’t.
I was totally unaffected by it at that point. “Tell me your sins, Forneus. Let me absolve them so we can ascend.”
I was back in my old cabin—and I wasn’t alone.
I had a new roommate.
With dark brown hair and blue eyes like crystals, she was beautiful. Her skin was the color of snow, her lips the color of a rose. And she was young, younger than I was by a few years.
I introduced myself. “Constance.”
“Rayna.” She shook my hand. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions—”
“Nope. Not my first time.”
Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me.
“I was here a couple months ago. Got away…but my demon came for me.”
“I…I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, pretty shitty.”
Her eyes fell, like she’d just lost all hope.
“I’m sorry too. You don’t deserve to be here. Nobody does.”
“I just got here a couple weeks ago…”
“Who’s your demon?”
“Amon.”
Fuck.
“Yours?”
“Forneus.”
“I think I’ve seen him before…he’s the one with the smile.”
“Yep, that’s my man.”
She released a chuckle—a very painful one. “I just had dinner. There are some leftovers on my tray if you’re hungry.”
I shook my head. “I’m good. Not much of an appetite.” I bet Benton was making Claire’s favorite tonight—mac and cheese. She’d probably asked about me, tried to understand what happened earlier that evening, and I had no idea how Benton would answer. “I think I’m going to get some sleep.”
“Alright, goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Rayna.” I changed into my white linen pajamas, looked at the golden harp by my bedside, and then got under the sheets. The door between our rooms was closed, and then the moonlight came through the windows. I stared at the ceiling, the cabin cold and my body heat not enough to keep me warm. I wasn’t used to being alone. I was used to having a man at my side, his powerful arms around my body, his quiet breaths my lullaby.
I felt a couple tears fall from my eyes to my ears, but I didn’t wipe them away.
Just let them fall.
When I left my cabin the next morning, I came face-to-face with someone I hadn’t seen in a long time.
Rebecca.
“You’re still here?” I walked past her, my bare feet on the cold stones over the grass since they’d taken my shoes again.
“I need to speak with you for a moment.”
I whirled around. “Still not an angel, huh? They didn’t promote you when I was gone?”
Her face drained of color.
“Consider yourself lucky. Unless you’re a Victoria’s Secret angel, it’s not worth it.” I moved forward without looking back, and this time, she didn’t follow me. I went up the hill toward the church, moving through the sea of Malevolent that watched my progression. “Long time no see, huh?” I approached the graveyard and noticed there were more graves than before. Three more.
Selfishly, I hoped it was no one I knew.
I entered the church and noticed that the windows were still covered with the paper I’d taped to the surface in another lifetime. A few angels were there, all dressed in their ridiculous gowns and heavy wings. Some of them looked at me, women I didn’t recognize, but there was one woman I knew.
Laura.
She slowly got to her feet in sheer disbelief. “Constance…”
“I’m back, bitches.” I raised my arms in mock celebration. “Couldn’t stay away, you know.” I walked up to her and embraced her with a strong hug. “How are you holding up?”
She pulled away, still in shock. “Let’s skip the small talk, alright? What the hell are you doing here? We thought you escaped.”