“Stop staring at your girlfriend for two minutes,” his sister, Zoey, teased as she walked up to him, nudging his arm with her elbow. She had a glass of champagne in one hand, and was also dressed sharply in all black, which allowed her brightly coloured blue, green, and purple hair to stand out. “I don’t think I’ve seen you so wrapped up in a woman in a long time.”
He lifted one shoulder into a shrug. “It’s nothing serious.”
That was the party line—nothing serious, keeping things casual, having fun.
All they wanted to do was take the heat off Lily’s embarrassing break up and, so far, it seemed to be working. What was also working, thankfully, was the fact that Zoey had been in his vicinity for a full three hours and hadn’t tried to set him up with anyone.
Sean called that a win.
“Nothing serious like you’re going to stay living in two different countries?” Zoey raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, this isn’t… forever, or anything. We don’t have any specific plans.” He made a snorting noise and sent up a plea to the heavens that he wasn’t as transparent as glass. Acting was part of Lily’s world, not his.
Zoey nodded, but her brows knitted into a frown. That’s when he realised—she was worried about him leaving Patterson’s Bluff. Again.
How had he not even considered that’s where her mind would go? Of course it would, because he’d left her all those years ago when she was still young and vulnerable. He’d walked away to the sound of her crying, and he’d shattered her teenage heart.
He’d abandoned the person he cared about most in the world.
Sean had been totally adrift at that point in his life. His father had stormed out of the house for the final time, and his mother had hurled abuse at Sean like it was all his fault. For a moment there, he wondered if it might be true. Maybe if he’d tried harder to keep the family together…
Could he have done more? Could he have saved them from falling apart? Would they all be better off without him?
The pressure had caused him to snap. So, he’d gone to stay with a friend who lived in the city. Sleeping on couches suited him fine and a few nights to lick his wounds had turned into a month. He’d gotten a job at a nightclub, serving drinks, and that month had turned into a year. A whole year that he’d left Zoey by herself. In hindsight, it hadn’t turned out too badly. Mack had stepped in to make sure she was okay, and now they were madly in love.
Still… Sean had promised himself that he would always put his family obligations first, no matter the cost. When he’d decided to fly to LA on a whim to see Lily face-to-face, it had been the only time he’d broken that commitment since.
And look how that turned out. You didn’t even get on the plane.
“I’m not leaving Patterson’s Bluff,” he said fiercely. “You know I won’t make that mistake again.”
Something flickered across Zoey’s face, but she hid it behind a bright smile. It was her go-to move. She was tough and independent, partially because she’d had no choice. “I support you no matter what, Sean.”
“The Bluff is my home.”
“I don’t want to feel like you’re giving up on something important for my sake. The way I acted when you left the first time…” She shook her head. “I acted like a baby.”
“You were a baby. You were seventeen! I left you even though I knew Mum and Dad weren’t capable of being the parents you needed.”
They weren’t the parents he’d needed, either. Years of listening to his mother drunkenly tell him he’d never amount to anything… well, he believed it. As for his father, the old man had stuck his head in the sand for years. Only now, after the damage had been done, had he finally admitted that he should’ve been around more.
For a long time, he’d thought it was too little, too late. But his dad was getting on in years, and Sean didn’t want to waste the time they had left. Forgiveness wasn’t easy. Not by a long shot. However, if Zoey had forgiven Sean for leaving her, then he could forgive their father for not being around enough.
His mother, on the other hand… well, she’d ghosted them all a while ago and he doubted she was ever coming back. Repairing one parental relationship was better than none, right?
“I should have understood that you were hurting, too. That you needed space from them.” Zoey looked down. “You were young, too, and yet you shielded me from their fighting for almost two decades. I understand now how much that must have worn you down.”
It had. He’d taken the emotional blows left, right and centre, to protect her for their entire childhood. It had shaped him. Made him who he was. And it had been confronting as hell to see that on the big screen. To see himself through Lily’s eyes—someone capable of more. Someone with potential.
Potential that, sadly, was yet to materialise in the real world.
“I regret it now,” she said. “Because I feel like I trapped you. Like I’ve stopped you from chasing things.”
“I don’t have anything to chase.”
“Exactly! We should always have something to chase.”
That was his sister in a nutshell. Whether it was growing her food truck business or winning Mack over or helping Sean and their father repair their relationship or trying to find him a girlfriend… Zoey never went a day without a goal.
“I’m perfectly content with life as it is,” he assured her. “I don’t need anything more.”
But… was that the truth? Everyone around him was achieving things and living their best lives. His sister had recently won a local hospitality award. Mack had gotten another promotion at work. Jasper’s photography skills were so in demand a client had flown him to Fiji for a shoot a few months back. Evie’s jewellery designs had recently debuted for an Australian designer’s fashion show.
What had Sean done? A big fat nothing.
“I know you feel guilty for the year that you left home, but… you needed it. You needed to get away from that environment. To act like a young person.” Her eyes glimmered. “If you hadn’t gotten that space from home, it might have broken you.”
There was some truth to that, because he’d certainly been at his breaking point when he left.
“I don’t want our relationship to be a concrete block holding you in place,” she added.
How could she even think that? His little sister was the reason he’d gotten out of bed in the mornings for a long, long time. They’d been best buds from the day she was born, and they’d waded through everything life threw at them with arms linked.
Until you fucked up and abandoned her.
One day he’d forgive himself… maybe.
“You’re not a concrete block, Zo. I promise.”
“I appreciate that.” She nodded. “But I can see how much you like Lily and yet you’re acting too cool for school about it, like you’ve already got one foot out the door.”
Wasn’t he like that with all his relationships? High turnover. Never get too invested. Many of the women he dated didn’t stay around. Patterson’s Bluff was a great town, but in the off-season, it was a sleepy place and employment options didn’t line up with many careers.