“Really?”
“Of course. What’s not to love?”
“Well, the same goes for you and my brother, Kinley. I know you don’t want this divorce. The whole family knows you don’t want this divorce. You guys are just going through a rough patch.”
“It’s more than a rough patch.”
“Marriage is a lot of work—I don’t have to tell you that. Especially with a man like my brother. He’s bullheaded and super aggressive, but he loves with all his heart and soul. You’ve been together for twenty years. That’s a very long time to be with someone, and trust me, half the time I want to kill Julian. Especially now with all these hormones, and he thinks I’m the world’s most beautiful pregnant woman.”
“You are.”
“I’m not. I’m a whale.”
“Autumn, you’ve barely gained, what? Twenty pounds?”
“Twenty-two.”
I teased, “Such a whale.”
She held her belly. “I think I have to go pee again.” She thought about it for a second. “Wait, no. It’s gone. False alarm. What were we talking about?”
“Wow. Mommy brain is real.”
“You have no idea. I forget everything. Thank God for Julian, or I’d forget to take all my vitamins.”
“Awe, he makes you remember?”
She swooned. “He brings them to me in the morning with water and breakfast.”
“I think that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“It’s the least he can do! I’m carrying his soccer player of a son who thinks my uterus is a soccer ball. Plus, he wants to have sex with me, like all the time! There’s barely any room for this baby and my organs.”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it.
“It’s not funny! I don’t need another thing inside of me! Everything turns into sex. He rubs my feet, his dick’s inside of me. He gives me a back rub, his dick’s inside of me. He thinks I’m like a fucking pinball machine that he can poke all day long.”
“And you love it.”
“Ugh,” she dramatically exclaimed. “God help me, I do. We’re going to end up with ten kids, watch.”
I jerked back. “Ten?”
“Oh yeah! If it were up to Julian, we’d have at least seven. He’s already talking about our next baby, when this one isn’t even born yet.”
“He’s going to give you some time to recover, though?”
“I wish! Last night he was talking about how awesome it would be to have two kids under the age of one.”
“Wow.”
“Right? He’s insane. And don’t get me started on Capri, who isn’t any help either. She’s ecstatic about having a brother. Especially since she doesn’t have any cous” —she caught herself— “shit, I’m so sorry. Mommy brain again.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Autumn. I know how excited she is to have siblings. Capri is a doll, and she’s going to be an amazing big sister.”
“Look at me.” She shook her head. “I came here to talk about you and all I’ve done is talk about myself.”
“I appreciate the distraction.”
She sat on the stool. “How are you doing? Like for real? Don’t give me the bullshit version.”
I inhaled a deep breath before sitting on the stool beside her. “To be completely honest, since we signed our divorce papers two months ago, I’ve been a fucking mess.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“You’re doing it. You’ve been checking in on me every week. Your mom and dad come by every other. I didn’t expect to still have you all in my life.”
“Kinley Troy! Of course, we’re still going to be in your life. We’re family. No matter what is going on with my brother, you’ll always be my sister.”
I smiled, needing to hear that. Other than Jax, Christian’s family was all I had. I couldn’t lose them too.
“It’s not too late to change your mind. It’s obvious you don’t want this divorce. And I know—you guys have had some issues with … you know, conceiving.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“No, Christian is a very private man. He wouldn’t tell me that, but I’m sure he’s told Julian. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Autumn, you didn’t even live here until a couple of years ago when you and Julian got back together.”
“That’s a cop out. I was a phone call away.”
“I know, but you were Autumn Troy, the biggest and best publicist in the world. You had your own shit to deal with, on top of being a single mom. You didn’t need to carry my burden too.”
“I call bullshit.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I think you didn’t want to tell me because you still have a hard time letting people in your life, Kinley.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I kept my mouth shut.
“After all the shit that happened with your mom, I can understand, but having to go through infertil—”
“Autumn, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but there’s more to it than that.”
“Because of what happened that night?”
Her question didn’t surprise me. She was there, his whole family was. However, I still managed to flinch.
“Listen.” She stood, grabbing my hands. “All I’m saying is that I’m always here for you.”
“I know.”
“Christian loves you, Kinley. He’ll take you any way he can.”
“That’s just it. I don’t want him to settle for me. It’s not fair to him.”
“I don’t want to say this, but it needs to be said.”
“What?”
With an utmost sincere expression on her face, she asked, “Are you sure it’s not about being scared that he’s going to eventually leave you, like your mom did?”
At this point, I didn’t know anymore.
We spent the rest of the afternoon talking about just how much I didn’t know anymore.
Chapter 18
Christian
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
I turned to see Julian standing behind me. “Exactly what it looks like.” I turned back around, nodding to the bartender to bring me another drink.
“You go before the judge this afternoon.”
“No shit.”
“So what? You think this is what you should be doing with your time right now?”
“If you came here to bust my balls—”
He sat beside me. “Are you going to let her go without a fight?”
“I’m the only one who has been fighting for us these last few years. She doesn’t want me.”
“Since when has that stopped you from doing anything?”
“She’s probably with Jax.”
“Actually, she’s with your sister.”
“She is?”
Taking off his suit jacket, he nodded to the bartender. “I’ll take what he’s having.”