Breck frowned. “Well, Roman does, but Wild and I don’t.”
“That’s the point. Even I don’t know where they are specifically. The security protocol officers don’t know, so right now they’re safe. I worry that we have a breach, that someone is listening who shouldn’t be, because no one should have known we were there.”
“Even better, no one should have been able to predict your movements. I think he’s been watching.”
“I have an idea. But I don’t think it’s one you’re going to like.”
He put down one foot and picked up the other one, massaging the tension in the arch. Then he lifted my foot and leaned down to kiss one of my toes. “Sparrow. Let’s just be clear. I can see the wheels turning in your brain right now. And that’s a beautiful thing. But after the last time, your plan had better not involve using you as bait.”
I bit my bottom lip. “Well, does it count if I don’t tell you that it involves using myself as bait?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Look, he wants me. He wants revenge. What if I give him me as a trade? You and Wild can arm me with all the latest tech and toys and support team as you can. But what if instead we just hand me over?”
He leveled a stare at me and looked furious. “Like I said, over my dead body is that ever going to happen.”
And I knew in that moment that he would not let me go voluntarily. Which was why I was going to have to break his heart and go on my own.
Chapter 16
Breck
The middle of the end doesn’t have to be the end.
* * *
“Like I said, over my dead body is that ever going to happen.”
As soon as I said the words, I knew they were a mistake. Those were exactly the wrong words to say to someone like Sparrow. She wasn’t the person who would stand back and let someone else do what she thought was her duty. If somebody needed help, she would be right there. She would sacrifice herself, body and soul, to keep others alive, to keep them safe.
Her own safety be damned.
And it was one reason I loved her. It had taken me too long to realize it. I had thought that our fighting with each other for so long was because of hatred, not a connection I had refused to see.
But I could not let her get hurt. And yet I didn’t have any right to tell her how to do her job.
I couldn’t.
And I couldn’t watch her die.
But I had a feeling, no matter what I did, no matter what case came up, I would have to. Because she would die to protect those under her care, and I couldn’t fault her for that, but I was sure I couldn’t watch it happen.
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that,” Sparrow said, her voice icy.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have said it,” I said softly.
“There’s no maybe about it. You don’t get to tell me how I live my life or how I do my job. I’m not like the little royal bunnies, or whatever the hell they’re called. I have a job to do, and you’re not going to hold me back.”
“I didn’t give a fuck about any of those ‘royal bunnies’ as you put it. You I care about.”
“That’s not even the point, and I shouldn’t have brought it up since that’s your past, not mine. The point is, you don’t get to control me. You don’t get to stand in the middle of my job and purpose and tell me what to do.”
I bit my tongue before I said something I knew I’d regret and took a deep breath. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do; I’m trying to tell you what not to do.”
Sparrow just blinked at me. “That’s a silly line from a movie that never made sense to begin with. This is my job, Breck. This is what I’m good at, what I’m trained for. Just because we’ve slept together doesn’t give you the right to dictate what I do.”
“You’re going to get yourself killed, Sparrow! I can’t watch you do that.” My heart raced out of my chest, and Sparrow just stared at me.
“I know what I’m doing, Breck. You’re not going to watch me die. I might get hurt. That comes with the job, but my death is not inevitable.”
My hands shook and I let out a breath. “I can’t watch you do this.”
She studied my face again, her expression so shuttered I couldn’t read her emotions. I hated when she did that. She was so good at protecting others that she pushed people away to make it happen. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that it’s fucking hard to be in a relationship with you!”
She blinked, her mouth parting. “Fine. You don’t have to be. There’s no relationship. I get it. We’ll fuck when we’re in the mood. As long as you don’t get to think you can tell me what my job is. I guess that means I get to go out, hunt down the bad guys, and then come back and fuck you whenever I feel like it.”
I growled, literally growled. “That is not what the hell I’m telling you.”
“Then why don’t you just spell it out for me.”
“I don’t know how to put it into words.”
“You sure are good with your words when you’re trying to get me into bed.”
“Am I? Or are we just excellent at hiding from the situation. How about the fact that most of the time when we’re together, it’s after you almost get blown up, stabbed, or beat to within an inch of your life?”
She shrugged. “It’s part of the job. And I’m damn good at it.”
“You are. And that means every time I’m with you, I have to count the bruises, the cuts. And wonder if one day you’re not going to come home.”
“That’s the job, Breck. Your job comes with paparazzi and people wanting to know every little thing about you. Your job comes with the secrets that you have. The fact that nobody seems to know that you’re a brilliant person with so many patents it’s insane. But nobody knows that because you hide it. That’s your job. You let everybody see your public persona, and then you hide the rest. And I understand it. That you need to keep that part of you to yourself. I don’t get why your family doesn’t know, but maybe that’s not my place. After all, we’re not in a relationship.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, damn it. We are in a relationship.”
“You could have fooled me, not according to what you’re saying.”
“Then just shut up and let me speak.”
She raised a single brow. “You don’t get to tell me to shut up. That’s not what we do here.”
I raised my hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Breck, I don’t understand you.”
“I don’t understand me either. But I refuse to wonder what’s going to happen when one day you don’t come back.”
A single tear fell down her face, but she wiped it away quickly. That was my Sparrow. She didn’t cry, really, didn’t show her emotions. She only did sometimes for me, and usually, I figured it was an accident, as if she wasn’t even sure she had bared any part of herself.
“I don’t have a choice, Breck. This is my job. Sometimes I’m going to have to leave to take care of people, and you’re going to have to let me.”