My eyes widen a little, but I breathe a small sigh of relief too. I thought maybe I’d done something wrong for a second. I mean, I’m upset this happened, but still… “What? How?”
My relief is short-lived when I see the look on Matt’s face.
What the hell? Do they think I did it?
I immediately start to ramble. “Who would do that? Did someone get paid for the information? Maybe someone from another firm trying to poach…”
“Karli.”
When I glance up, he’s staring straight at me. “They found files open on your computer, unsecured. No lock screen. They think you did it. Decker’s convinced of it.”
My blood starts to heat up. “What? Earlier today?”
He nods slowly.
“When you pulled me away from my workstation?”
He breaks eye contact, and in that moment, I know exactly what this is, what’s about to happen. He’s going to throw me under the bus. My mind immediately goes into crisis management mode. It’s the only way I can avoid the hurt for the moment, the pain I know is just over the horizon.
“I don’t know all the details of when or how…”
“Just say it, Matthew.” I try not to let my voice crack, but it does a little. I hate that he gets the satisfaction of hearing it.
That gets his attention, and he straightens up a little, but I can’t fight back the tears already forming, no matter how bad I want to. I turn my head and try to wipe them from the corner of my eye.
“What?”
That’s all he can say. What?
I take a deep breath, doing my best to hold it together. “Just do what you need to do.” I want to tell him to save it and just storm out, but no. He needs to feel some semblance of the pain I have in my chest right now.
“What are you talking about?”
I glare right at him, the sadness quickly turning to anger. I shake my head at him. “I’m not doing this for you. Look me in the eyes and say what you need to say.”
It seems like it takes forever, but eventually, our eyes meet.
“It’s out of my hands, Karli. I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit.”
That gets his attention. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” The words come through my teeth.
This time, he stands up, visibly angry. Good. Fuck him.
“You think I want to fire you? Decker ripped my ass in his office and told me I had to.”
I stand there, staring off at the wall, shaking my head, trying to bite back the urge to unleash hell on him. “How hard did you fight for me?”
“What?” He asks the question like he’s surprised, like he didn’t think I’d ask it.
“Stop playing stupid. Did you take up for me at all?”
His jaw clenches and silence stretches between us.
“Did you tell Decker what happened? The truth about earlier?”
He shakes his head. “What would that accomplish?”
I can barely even look at him. I had no idea he could disappoint me this much, hurt me this bad. “That I meant something to you.”
He starts to say something, then stops himself.
“That’s what I thought. You were right earlier, about how I should’ve kept my guard up.” I turn on my heel and start for the door.
“Karli, wait.”
I whip back around and this time a tear slides down my cheek. I can’t stop it, though I try as hard as I can. I don’t want him to see me like this.
I point right at him. “No. I’m not waiting.” I fold my arms over my chest. “It’s okay, though. I thought I mattered to you, but I don’t. It’s fine, lesson learned.”
He stomps toward me. “It’s not like that.”
“At least have the decency to respect a fraction of my intelligence, asshole.”
His brows narrow like I’m finally getting to him. Good, he deserves it.
“I’m not the one who left shit on my computer. Maybe if you spent less time flirting with Blake, you’d have noticed.”
“Fuck you.” I spin around toward the door, madder than I’ve ever been in my entire life.
“Already did. Security will escort you out.”
I freeze in my tracks the second he says that.
Despite how ridiculous this is, I didn’t think he could go any lower. Words can’t describe how bad it cuts. Until now, I don’t think I realized just how much I liked Matthew Graham. In fact, it wasn’t until right now I realized I was in love with Matthew Graham. And he just shattered my heart into a million pieces.
I don’t look at anyone as I go by and grab my purse. I can’t. I’m one second away from losing it at any moment and I’ll be damned if I shed any more tears in front of these people.
I head straight for the exit, then straight for the train. I don’t look back.
I’ll never set foot in that building again.
11
Matthew
What the hell did I do?
There’s no coming back from this.
I still feel like I’m walking outside of my body, the entire way into The Gage. I’ve read the article in the paper at least ten times. It looks so innocuous, like nobody would even give a shit. It just talks about Hedgeman and Knox and their new media production company. It didn’t even make front page. It was in the fucking entertainment section. Literally nobody in the world gives a shit, except Hedgeman, Knox, and our firm—people in the industry, maybe.
How could such a small thing cause such a big uproar?
It doesn’t even make sense. I was running point on everything, but Blake and his group were doing the grunt work. This article has information in it that’s above Karli’s pay grade. How the hell does Decker not see that? There’s no way she would’ve known. It makes no sense.
I know he’s just pissed off and made her the scapegoat, to ease his conscience, make it look like it’s handled to the clients.
It really doesn’t matter now.
Karli’s never going to speak to me again. She hates my guts, and I don’t blame her. I got so fucking mad at the situation, at Decker—and I just downloaded it all right onto her, because it was convenient.
I could’ve fallen on the sword and I didn’t. Why?
It doesn’t matter now.
Nothing will ever be normal again. Not without her. She’ll damn sure never trust me, even if I fix it. I threw her under the bus to save my own ass and I want to punch myself right in the goddamn face, repeatedly.
I surprise myself when I walk right past the door to The Gage. I can’t drink this problem away. I stop on the corner, looking around at the skyline, wondering what the fuck I’m even doing here. Where does my life go from this point? Everything feels existential, like the world could end any moment.
A cloud of steam forms in front of me when I exhale a giant sigh and pull out my phone. I call Karli, but even I know it’s pointless. It goes to voicemail after one ring. I’m surprised she hasn’t blocked my number. I’m so ashamed I freeze up when it beeps to leave a message.
I try to type out a text, but I can’t even find the words. What the fuck do you even say to someone after what I did?
I send a text anyway that just says, “I’m so sorry.”