A woman from admissions came to hand her forms to fill out, and a nurse examined her in a cubicle and called the orthopedist on duty. Maddie had to wait another hour for X-rays, and the X-ray technician told her that her ankle was broken before the doctor even saw her. There were tears rolling down her cheeks as he walked into the room. It had been a long, painful night and she felt totally worn out. She was afraid she’d have to have surgery for the break, and maybe even have pins put in.
The doctor checked the X-ray and looked at her. “The good news is it’s a clean break, you don’t need surgery. We’ll put a cast on, which will give you some relief, and send you home with pain medication. You need to keep your weight off it for a week, then you’ll get a walking cast, and six weeks from now, you’ll be as good as new.” He could see how shaken up she was, and obviously in a lot of pain. He called a nurse in to help him, and half an hour later Maddie was in a cast. They adjusted a pair of crutches for her, filled the prescription at the hospital pharmacy, and two hours after that she was ready to go home and ordered another Uber.
“Do you have an elevator where you live?” the nurse asked her and Maddie shook her head. She was trying to figure out how to manage, and how she’d get back up the two flights of stairs to her bedroom, which was going to be a nearly impossible feat without help. She was still determined not to bother Penny, but she was in too much pain and too exhausted to bump her way up the stairs on her bottom again.
“I’ll manage,” Maddie assured her as they pushed her to the Uber in a wheelchair. With the cast on, she already felt a little better than she had when she came in. She didn’t want to take the pain pills until she got home, in case they knocked her out or made her woozy. She thanked the nurse, and confirmed the address with the driver. She realized then that she could sleep on the couch in the studio. There was a bathroom there, and a fridge. She could send out for food and get to the door on her crutches. It wasn’t ideal, but she could make it until Monday when Penny came in. There was even a shower in the bathroom, and there were garbage bags she could use to cover the cast. They had cut off her jeans, and she went home in hospital pajama bottoms. She knew she looked a sight as the driver carried her purse for her and helped her unlock her front door.
“Is there anything I can do for you before I go?” the driver asked her kindly. It was a woman, and Maddie thanked her gratefully.
“I’ll be fine,” she assured her. She went into the little studio kitchenette after she left, and took her pain pill. She got to the couch in the studio and lay down, remembering that she had a shoot that week and would have to do it on crutches, but she would have two freelance studio assistants working with her. Twenty minutes later, when the pill took effect, she fell sound asleep.
* * *
—
It was dark when she woke up, her ankle was throbbing, and she felt like she’d been on a two-week drunk. She was nauseous from taking the pain pill on an empty stomach. She looked at her watch and was startled to see that it was seven o’clock at night. It had been a hell of a weekend so far.
She was going to call for food, but didn’t want any, and found half a turkey sandwich left over from her lunch the day before in the studio fridge. She ate it so she could take another pill if she needed to, and she felt better after she ate. She was dying to get to her bed, but didn’t want to tackle the stairs alone again. And she didn’t want to bump her ankle while she did it. She lay back on the couch for a few minutes and fell asleep until morning, without even taking another pill. When she woke up, she went back up the stairs on her bottom, dragging her crutches. All she wanted was to take a shower, put on a clean nightgown, and get into her bed.
The whole process of taking a shower took her almost an hour, and she fell into the bed with relief, looked at the mess of boxes on the floor outside her closet, and remembered what was in them. She waited another hour before dragging the box of letters and photographs over to the bed, hopping on her good foot to do it. At least reading the old love letters and looking at the photographs would give her something to do while she lay there. And she had remembered a box of cookies in the sitting room next to the bedroom. She didn’t want to go back to the kitchen, and the cookies would be enough to sustain her until Monday morning. She couldn’t get back downstairs to open the door if she ordered food. She hated feeling so helpless and hampered, but at least she felt clean now, and the pain in her left ankle was less acute. It had been a hell of an experience and a shock to get hurt and be in so much pain. She’d never broken a bone before.
She settled in against the pillows with the cookies and the box she had brought down from the top of her closet before she fell. She was eager to read the letters and see the familiar faces she hadn’t seen in years. It was like a trip back in time, and brought with it floods of memories as she read. Jacques’s letters were the most amusing, in stilted English, and she smiled as she remembered him and flipped through the envelope of photographs that went with them. Bob’s letters were the most intelligent, trying to convince her why their relationship made sense and attempting to overcome her reservations. She remembered that he had wanted her to move to California with him, and she wouldn’t. It would have been too hard for her children, who were still very young.
Andy’s letters tore at her heart the moment she read them. She could see why she had loved him, he was so straightforward and direct, so kind, and so in love with her, as she had been with him. She studied his photographs more carefully and spread them out around her on the bed. Even at nearly fifty, he had been a strikingly handsome man and looked like a cowboy in an ad. There were several photographs of them together looking happy. She stared at the images of him for a long time, and then put it all away neatly in the box, and pushed it to the other side of the bed, since she only occupied half of it.
She turned on the TV so she could hear voices in the room, still thinking about Andy and then the other two men. It had been a long lonely weekend, and she took another pain pill that night. She was just starting to feel the effects of it when the phone rang, and she picked it up, wondering if it was her son, Ben. When he called her it was usually on Sunday nights, if he wasn’t busy with Laura or the children. During the week, he was always too tied up at his office.
She almost winced when she heard Deanna’s voice. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with her, and she was starting to feel drunk from the pill.
“Hi, the weather was awful in Massachusetts. How was it here?” She dove right in without asking how her mother was, or how her weekend had been, just about the weather.
“I’m not sure. I stayed home all weekend.” Deanna guessed that her mother had been working, as she often did.
“I’ve got something to ask you. I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow, in case you have a shoot. I need an answer right away.” Maddie was already regretting having answered the phone. Whatever it was, she didn’t want to hear it. She wasn’t up to a power struggle with her daughter. Listening to her, on the first wave of the pain pill, she started to feel sick.