Maddie lay in bed that night thinking about it, and everything Deanna had said, and didn’t fall asleep until four in the morning. The effect of the earlier pain pill was lost, and her mind was racing. The ankle hurt like hell. She used her crutches to get to the bathroom several times, and was wide awake until she finally drifted off. She slept until she heard the front door close when Penny came to work the next morning.
Maddie called Penny in her office and asked her to come upstairs to the bedroom. Penny looked shocked when she saw the crutches and noticed Maddie’s pale face.
“What happened?” She pointed to the mess outside the closet, and the fallen ladder still lying on its side, which told the story. The crutches leaning against Maddie’s bed told the rest, and the result of the fall from the ladder.
“I was on my closet-reorganizing mission and fell off the ladder on Friday night.” Penny’s eyes were instantly ablaze with concern. “And don’t lecture me about it. I’ve already heard it from the doctor, and Deanna says I should hire someone to live with me or sell the house.”
“She would,” Penny said with a stern look of disapproval. She hadn’t liked Maddie’s oldest daughter since the day she started.
“I know it wasn’t smart to be on the ladder. I won’t do it again,” Maddie said, looking subdued. “Deanna thinks this is the beginning of Alzheimer’s. Christ, I hope not.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re sharper than I am. Although, I’ll grant you, being at the top of a ladder at night when you’re alone wasn’t smart.”
“I know.” Maddie was contrite and felt foolish.
“You have a shoot on Thursday. Do you want me to cancel it?”
“No,” Maddie said, “I can manage, I’ll have two freelance studio assistants. What I need now is help getting to the bathroom so I don’t fall, and help with the shower. And after that, I’m starving. I lived on cookies all day yesterday.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I can’t believe you called Deanna instead. Did she come to help you out?”
“Of course not, and I didn’t call her. She called me because she wants to use the house for another benefit. I told her she can’t.”
“Thank God, I remember what the place looked like after the last one. They can rent a place somewhere.”
“She’ll have to. I won’t let her do it here,” Maddie said firmly. But she knew she hadn’t heard the last of it. Deanna didn’t give up that easily. She was hell on wheels when she wanted something.
Maddie took a hot shower, with a garbage bag over her cast, which made her feel better, and Penny helped her down the stairs on her bottom, to the kitchen, and then made her scrambled eggs and bacon with toast. Maddie was ravenous, and happy to see Penny. Her ankle was feeling better too. She had felt depressed and lonely all weekend, and considerably worse after talking to Deanna the night before.
“Did you have time to go through any of those boxes?” Penny asked her, as she sat down beside her, with a mug of coffee.
“I got an idea of what was in them. I made a pile of things to give away, and another pile to throw out.”
“Any forgotten treasures?”
Maddie smiled at her in answer. “Not really. Just letters and some photographs of old boyfriends.”
“Anyone interesting?” They were all from before Penny’s time with her, so she didn’t know about them and had never met them.
“Used to be,” Maddie said mysteriously, thinking of the cowboy, Andy Wyatt, again. “God knows where they are now. That was all a long time ago.”
“You can google them, if you want, and get in touch with them, if they still seem interesting,” Penny said.
“I’m not sure they’d want to hear from me. Ex-girlfriends are a dime a dozen.”
“Not ex-girlfriends like you.” Penny smiled at her. “You should definitely google them if you want to get in touch with them,” Penny said and Maddie nodded. She wasn’t sure which was worse, Deanna telling her she needed someone to live with her and that she would break a hip next time, or falling in love with Andy again. It was hard to decide. Both scenarios had their risks, particularly Andy. They had been so hopelessly in love with each other eighteen years before, and ever since she’d seen his photograph and read his letters, she felt like she was falling for him all over again. It had taken her two years to get over him at the time. If she saw him in person, it could only be worse. She had never been able to resist him. And suddenly she wanted to reach out to him, which she knew was tempting fate. Her life was so simple and uncomplicated now, except for a broken ankle. The last thing she needed was a cowboy from Wyoming, no matter how handsome he was or how much they had loved each other.
The broken ankle had made her feel vulnerable, and Deanna’s words had frightened her. Suddenly she wanted someone to protect her. It seemed foolish even to her, she had taken care of herself and everyone else all her life. But what if Deanna was right and this was the beginning of the end? She was staring time, age, and her own frailty in the face. It was terrifying. And even Andy couldn’t protect her from it. No one could, which was the worst part. Her own mortality had become real overnight.
Chapter 3
Maddie felt as though she’d had a thousand-pound weight on her all weekend when she finally got to her desk on Monday morning. The broken ankle was an inconvenience, but more than that, it was upsetting. It had brought up issues she’d never even thought of before, and she felt hungover and depressed from the pain pills she’d taken. Deanna’s dire predictions for the future loomed over her like a cloud, with the forecast of an impending storm, a hurricane that would hit her life, a tornado she couldn’t avoid. She had no intention of hiring someone to live at the firehouse with her. But what if ultimately she lost her independence and was dependent on others? And worse yet, Ben and Milagra, her more benevolent children, lived far away. What if Deanna controlled her life one day, hiring nurses and forcing them on her? What if she was obliged by circumstance, physical necessity, or her children to sell the house she loved and that suited her so well? She felt suddenly at their mercy. She had never felt that way before. Deanna had been an annoyance for years. What if it became a power struggle with her now and Deanna won?
Maddie wondered if she should put in an elevator now, in anticipation of the future. The whole prospect was depressing. She could see a bleak future rolling out ahead of her with the loss of all the freedoms she held dear, and that were essential to her sense of well-being. It had never occurred to her before that she could lose them.
Penny could see how gloomy Maddie felt when she brought her a cup of tea and put a new stack of contact sheets on her desk for her to look over. “How are you feeling?”