The front door opened, and Julia walked in.
“You didn’t tell Sam I’m here, did you?”
“I did, but I swear to you he won’t say a word to Stefan. I threatened him.”
“No sex?” Jenni asked.
“Yep. Two months. I told him if he told Stefan, there would be no sex for two months or until I could trust him again. And trust me, he knows I’m serious. I talked to Stefan, and he told me what happened. I’m so sorry, Alex.” She hooked her arm around me. “I know exactly how you feel.”
“I’m so stupid, Julia. I never should have allowed myself to fall in love with him. But he made it so damn easy.”
“I know, sweetie.” She pulled me into her. “Those Kind brothers have a way of leaving a trail of broken hearts wherever they go. Stefan said you didn’t quit.”
“No. I can’t leave Lily like that. Not yet anyway. She shouldn’t have to pay because her father’s an asshole. Listen, I love you both for supporting me like this, but I just want to be alone for a while to think. Go home to your husband, Julia.” I gave her a small smile as I gently gave her hand a squeeze. “I’ll be okay.”
“Yeah. Go home, sis. I’ll be here for the next day before I head to Europe. I told Alex she’s moving in, and she can stay as long as she needs to.”
I lay in the bubble filled tub as the calming scent of lavender and clary sage worked their magic. I had planned on telling Stefan about the baby tonight. But after he confirmed he didn’t want any more kids or a long-term relationship, there was no use in telling him. I needed to think and come up with a plan. The doctor suspected I was around four to five weeks, so I had about two more months before I started to show. I’d keep it a secret, save as much money as I could between what Stefan paid me and my wage and tips at Sebastian’s restaurant, and then I’d leave California and never look back.
After I climbed out of the bathtub, I wrapped the towel around me and looked at myself in the mirror. With the slight turn of my shoulder, I stared at the tattoo that reminded me of my mission in life. I could easily let myself sink into the abyss of heartache and torturous pain. I’d finally found my person. A man who made me fall in love with him. Struggling to stay afloat was going to be difficult because the feelings and emotions that were inside me were broken. My heart was broken and the worst part of it all was that I still had to see him every day. I could just pack up and leave now, but I couldn’t do that to Lily. She was already going to have a hard time with me moving out, so I needed to prepare her for the inevitable and make sure she was strong enough to accept it.
Chapter 32
Stefan
I felt numb. That was the only way I could describe it. I poured myself another scotch and took it outside on the patio. Sam had left for a while and then walked back over.
“Where did Julia go?” I asked.
“She ran to the grocery store. We have no food in the house since we’ve been gone.”
“Are you sure that’s where she went?”
“Yes, Stefan.”
“Why didn’t you go with her?” I glanced over at him.
“Because I wasn’t about to leave you when you’re down like this.”
“I’m sure you called Simon and Sebastian.”
“I did. They’ll be over as soon as they get home.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. She’s still working for me, so there’s nothing to talk about.”
“Hey bro,” Sebastian walked over holding a bottle of single malt scotch whiskey. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I stared straight ahead at the water.
“I’ll go get the glasses,” Sam said as he got up from his chair and walked inside the house.
Sebastian set the bottle down on the glass table, removed the cork and refilled my glass.
“Talk to me,” he said.
“Like I told, Sam, there’s nothing to talk about. She thinks I’m her perfect guy, she fell in love, I told her I couldn’t be her perfect guy, and she moved out. End of story.”
“She’s still going to take care of Lily?”
“She says she is. But I’m sure she’ll come get the last of her things and hit the road like she always does.”
“How does that make you feel, bro?” Sam asked as he sat back down.
“Whatever. I don’t care.”
“Yes, you do,” Sebastian spoke.
“After everything I have done for her.” I shook my head.
“And here we are again?” Simon walked over. “Same situation, different brother. Why did you let Alex move out?”
Sebastian poured him a drink and handed it to him as he took a seat.
“Like I could stop her. You know what she said to me?”
“What?” Simon asked.
“She told me she’s quitting ‘me.’ What the fuck does that even mean?”
“I’m pretty sure she means she’s no longer having sex with you or having anything to do with you at all,” Sebastian said.
“What am I going to tell Lily?”
“The truth,” Simon said. “I know you feel like you need to protect her and shield her from the bad things in life, but you can’t. It’s reality, bro.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that I should tell her I’ve been having sex with her nanny, she fell in love, we got into an argument, and she moved out.”
“You might want to leave out the sex part,” Sam said.
“She also threw Dad into the mix,” I finished off my drink and held my glass out to Sebastian.
“What did she say?” Sebastian’s brows furrowed.
“She said that we all hide behind him and the past and we let his actions control us.”
“That is true,” Sam spoke.
“Shut up,” the three of us said at the same time.
“Actually, I won’t because it’s the damn truth. I did it, you’re doing it, and the two of you will do the same one day. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you’re in love with someone. Julia is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and Alex is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. You love her, Stefan. Just admit it. You can sit there all you want and deny it for the rest of your life. Then one day you’ll be sitting in that very spot when you’re old and gray all alone asking yourself what the hell you did. You have to let go of the fear, bro. Take your defenses and push them to the side. It’s okay to be vulnerable.”
“I appreciate the therapy session, but I’m going to head inside. I’ll meet you on the water in the morning.”
I got up from my seat, grabbed the bottle off the table and headed inside.
“Hey. That’s a five-hundred-dollar bottle,” Sebastian growled.
I turned and looked at him.
“And I appreciate it, bro.”
I drank until I passed out. When I woke up the next morning, I was still in my clothes and laying across the bed. Looking at the clock it was ten a.m. Shit. Grabbing my phone, there was a text message in our group chat.