I nod my head, vaguely remembering where it is. My hand goes to the rustic railing as I head to the second level. I know some people sleep up here, but I don’t remember who.
I peek in a few rooms, noticing two bedrooms, one messy and one clean. The next room I step into is the bathroom, and I let out a sigh of relief, my bladder being held off long enough. I don’t take long, rushing through and washing my hands. I switch off the light before opening the door, stepping into the hallway.
“Shit.” I jump back, my eyes immediately connecting with Lynx. He leans against the wall, his ankles crossed over one another and his arms fold over his chest. He looks angry, closed off, and I don’t understand why he’s up here.
It’s like he’s… waiting for me.
He’s so fucking handsome. Like, I see handsome. I live in California, and once you comb through the preppy or surfer fucks that don’t know their dick from their feet, you’ll find a goldmine of good-looking men. But there’s something different about Lynx. He’s his own species. Rugged, brutal.
He’s a fucking savage.
“Hi…” I whisper.
He unhooks his feet, stomping toward me until his toes touch mine. His hand goes below my chin, and he tilts my head up, so far up my neck hurts. He’s tall, well over six feet, towering over my five-foot-two frame. His fingers go below my eyes, pulling on the skin and making my eyes widen in front of his. He stares into me, and the air is stolen from my lungs.
He takes my breath away.
He’s so much of a man. So much that I can barely think straight. The tips of his fingers burn against my skin yet freeze me in place.
My mouth pops open, and his eyes zero in on my lips. My tongue darts out, because I suddenly feel dried of every ounce of fluid in my body. I can’t think, I can’t breathe. Whatever Lynx is doing to me is making me turn upside down and all fucking twisted around.
He releases my cheek, and my skin is suddenly ice cold where his hand once lay. His thumb is darkened, and I’m wondering if a smudge of grease was left in its wake.
“You look so much like her,” he whispers.
“Like who?”
He shakes his head, anger and disappointment in his gaze. “No one. She was absolutely no one.”
I sense a heavy story there. One that would break my heart. Lynx doesn’t seem like a complete man. I mean, he seems like he’s got his head on his shoulders. He doesn’t seem broken, but he seems… missing, maybe?
Like there’s a piece of him that’s lost and he’s just waiting for it to fit into place.
I want to ask him about it. I want to delve into the depths of him and uncover all his secrets. I don’t know why. I haven’t talked to or seen him in over five years. He’s Violet’s father, in a sense. I shouldn’t be feeling as… out of sorts as I am at the moment.
But there’s something about him.
Some thread that tethers me in place. Keeps our feet cemented to this worn and stained floor in front of each other.
“I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t be here,” I whisper.
He steps back, like I’ve snapped him out of his trance. “No, kid. It’s me that shouldn’t fuckin’ be here.” He spins around, stomping down the stairs and out of sight.
Holy fucking shit.
What the hell just happened?
And why is my heart beating out of my chest?
Chapter 5
Knock, knock.
Fucking hell.
I turn over in bed, refusing to answer to Bo or any of my shady ass neighbors that stare at me like I’m some slut with her legs spread.
Knock, knock.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Fine!” I growl, tossing my sheets over my body and stomping to the front door. I almost trip over a pile of clothes, and I swear under my breath as I kick them out of the way. Opening my door, I’m ready to curse out whoever’s standing on the other side, when I come face to face with Violet.
“Jeez, expecting someone else?” She stares at me, laughter in her eyes.
My face drops, and I blink in shock.
What the hell?
It’s been two days since I’ve seen her. After she dropped me off the other night, I kind of figured that was it. It was nice to see my friend again, the one who I somewhat, kind of, maybe talk to in school on the occasion. But her showing up on my doorstep only two days later? What the hell is that.
“What’re you doing here?” I ask, feeling a little on edge.
She shoves her way around me, pushing herself through my doorway and into my tiny apartment. I suddenly feel self-conscious, and I glance around at what embarrassing things she could find in here.
It’s not clean, and half of the appliances don’t work. Only one burner on my stovetop is hooked up, and my oven doesn’t work. My microwave is mostly functional, but unfortunately, I have to hit it a few times on the top to make it heat up correctly. And I can’t go more than two minutes or else it might start a fire.
Yeah, I have a great house.
I shouldn’t feel embarrassed by my home, and mostly to Violet, whose been in the same situation as I was a while back. But I am. I’m so damn embarrassed.
“I had fun the other night. And with Ivy always with Z, and Katie always with Jex, I don’t have anyone to hang out with. And you’re kind of cooler than they are.”
I shake my head, confused. “What about all the people at school?” She has so many friends. She’s always surrounded by people, like a social butterfly wrapped in leather. They flock to her. Why wouldn’t they? She’s so fucking beautiful.
She laughs, but it’s not a happy sound. “They aren’t really my friends, Iris. I mean, I guess they are, kind of. But not really, since they only like me because I hang out with a ton of bikers and can kick all their asses. They don’t really care about me. They just care about who I’m affiliated with.”
I frown, not feeling that way at all. But what do I know? I keep my nose down half the time, so maybe I’m just blinded by my own introvertedness.
“So, I think you should come over. Come hang out with me again today.”
I glance around. I was going to clean this shithole. Finally get it in order. It’s Christmas in just a few days, and even though I don’t have enough money for a tree, maybe I can at least relax in a clean apartment for the evening. That would be enough of a gift, I suppose.
“I, uh, I was going to pick up around here.”
“I can help,” she says, looking around.
My eyes widen. “No. No thanks. I can come with you if you give me like, fifteen minutes or something? I just need to get ready.”
“Oh, sure,” she says, looking around again for a place to sit.
There’s nowhere. Our couch is overtaken with an assortment of junk, and the one kitchen chair is covered with a pile of dirty or clean clothes; I’m not sure which.
“I can just meet you in your car if that’s all right.”
She frowns, sensing my discomfort. “Yeah, sure. Okay.”
Once she’s out the front door, I rush to my mom’s room, opening the door a crack to see her and her newest boyfriend, Ray, lying on the bed together. Her shirt is off, and his hand grasps her naked breast, even while they sleep. It smells like stale beer in here, and I instantly want to gag.