I could just leave without saying anything, but on the off chance she’s feeling somewhat motherly today, I really don’t want her to call the cops and report me missing.
I walk as quietly as possible over to her, laying my hand on her shoulder. “Mom.” I shake her, and her head lobs back and forth. “Mom,” I say a little louder.
“Huh? What?” She cracks open her eyes, and Ray stretches out next to her, rolling over and exposing his flaccid dick. It’s repulsive, and I can feel bile working its way up my throat.
“Mom, I’m going out with a friend.”
Ray starts laughing, and my mom finally opens her eyes, looking up at me. “Friend? Since when?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s a friend from school.”
Ray laughs even louder. “Is it a guy? I hope he isn’t looking for you to suck his dick. You’ll probably bite the damn thing off.”
My mom starts drifting off again.
“Okay, Mom. I’ll see you later!” I shout, and she stirs again.
“If you need a lesson in the blowjob department, just let me know,” Ray rasps, his morning breath wafting toward me.
A gag does break free at that. Ray is fucking vile. An old man that’s at least in his fifties and not nearly as attractive as he thinks he is.
My mom nudges him. “Don’t be a pervert, Ray.”
“It’s not a guy, and absolutely fucking not,” I sneer, disgusted as hell by his dick and his words. It makes me want to get out of here even more. “I’m leaving.” I turn around, walking out of the door without another word. If I glanced back at my mom, she’d be sleeping all over again. She came in way too late last night, and I know she was fucked up by how loud she was.
I close my eyes, shaking my head, when I hear the noise of shuffling shoes. My eyes pop open, and there stands Violet, back inside my house with a solemn look on her face. I cringe, hating that she heard what just happened in the other room, and knowing she heard every single word.
“I told you to wait outside,” I whisper.
She shakes her head, sighing as she opens the door, letting me lead the way. Not a word is spoken as we walk downstairs, passing one of my neighbors that’s half asleep on the steps with a bottle of vodka in his hands.
The moment we step outside, the cool air washes over me, and I want nothing but to rush to Violet’s car. But from the way she plants her hands on her hips and stares at me, I know she wants to talk.
“What the fuck was that?” she snaps.
I feel uncomfortable, and kind of out of sorts. She’s being protective, and she hasn’t even been around in the past six years. “It’s nothing. My mom… you fucking know what it’s like.” I feel defensive, because I don’t want anyone feeling bad for me or like I can’t help myself. I can. I’ve been doing it for years, and I can guarantee I’ll be doing it for years to come.
“You don’t have to live like that. The guy sounded like a creep. Has he ever tried anything with you?”
My face scrunches in disgust. “No. I just stay away from them. And no, Violet, I have to live like this. But not for much longer. Once I graduate, I’m getting the fuck out of here.”
She starts walking, and we hop into her car. “You don’t have to stay there, Iris. You can always come stay with me. Lynx would take you in.”
I shut my door, my teeth sinking into my sore lower lip as I think about Lynx.
Living with him, all the time? Not only would my mother never allow that, but after the other night and how tension-filled it became between us, I feel like that spells complete disaster.
Chapter 6
The place is more packed this evening, with countless dark, black bikes lined up along the front of the main building. Nerves fill me, seeing people flood in and out of the front door and the nearby mechanic’s shop.
“Is there a party going on?” I ask.
She nods, switching off her car. “Yeah, well, I guess. We don’t really have parties. People just come over and fuck around.”
“Why don’t I just come over tomorrow, then?” I stay in my seat, even when she unbuckles her belt and opens her door.
She laughs. “No. Come on, Violet. Don’t be a pussy.” She shuts her door, and I realize if I don’t get out, I’ll be spending the rest of the evening in here.
With a groan, I open the door, sliding from my seat and instantly becoming overwhelmed with the smell of marijuana and cigarettes. A low rumble of music rolls through my chest, and I look at Violet, seeing her already bobbing her head to the beat of the rock music.
As we approach, the door swings open, and two guys step out. My jaw drops, and I want to whimper at the sight of them. One has darker hair, with tattoos up and down his arms, and a fierce expression on his face. The other one looks mean, a scowl morphing his features when he looks at Violet. The moment his eyes swing to me, they become lazy, a cocky smile lifting his lips. “Who’s your friend, Violet?”
A swear I hear a growl come from Violet, and I can feel her body stiffen beside me. “Fuck off, West.” She turns her head to the dark-haired guy whose eyes haven’t left mine. “Z, do you remember Iris? She used to come over here back in the day.”
His eyes narrow as he inspects me. “Maybe.”
It’s been a while since I’ve seen him. He used to be younger, a teenager. No tattoos, barely any muscles, no facial hair. He looks like a man now. And he has a girl and a kid? Shit.
“We’re going inside since it’s cold as shit out tonight. Are Ivy and Katie in there?”
Aziel nods.
West still glares at Violet.
With a sigh and a middle finger toward West, she grabs onto my wrist and pulls me through the door. There’re even more people in here, the music’s louder, and the Christmas lights are on and bright in the dim room. Two girls sit at the bar, talking intently with each other as the party ensues around them.
“Ivy!” Violet barks.
The girls separate, looking over at us with curious looks on their faces. Violet walks over to them, keeping her fingers cinched around my wrist. “This is Iris. She goes to my school.”
Both of them look me over, their eyes roving from my toes to the top of my messy bun. I didn’t know there was a party, and I mistakenly stayed in my leggings and black Nike hoodie. This isn’t a nice one, though, this one is worn with holes in it from some thrift shop I passed by the other year. I don’t look cute.
I look homeless.
“Hi, I’m Ivy.” The genuine smile on her face throws me, but I smile back at her, giving her a small wave.
“I’m Katie.” Katie seems a little more closed off, her brown hair framing her face like a shield.
“Want a drink, Iris?” Violet asks, sitting down next to Ivy.
My eyebrows shoot to my hairline. “They let you drink here?”
The three of them laugh, and my cheeks pinken in embarrassment. I mean, we’re only seventeen. Seniors in high school. I don’t feel like my question is way out of line.
“Yeah, Iris. We can drink.”
I really don’t drink. Not at all, actually. Where would I? I don’t go to parties. I hate when my mom drinks; she’s embarrassingly slutty and always curls herself around every man that passes her by. I never want to be like her.