Fucking Ray. I hate him so damn much.
“Iris! If you’re home, get your ass out here!”
“Ughhhhhh,” I growl, ripping the sheets off my body. A killer headache reaches my eyes, and I rub a hand down my face and massage my temples.
I take a deep breath before opening my door, seeing my mom and Ray looking so wrecked and weathered as I peek out, that I want to shut my door and hide. I’d rather them believe I’m not here.
“Where were you?” I ask, not really caring, but wanting absolutely no attention on myself.
“We were down at Lucky for a while. No luck for Momma last night,” my mom says, holding onto Ray so she can bend over and take off her knockoff heels.
“Where’d you get the money?” Considering she hasn’t bought and ounce of food for the month, no meal for Christmas, and not one present. But she has money for the fucking Casino?
My blood boils.
She glances up at me, her bloodshot eyes and messy hairspray-filled hair a complete disaster. “None of your business, Iris. But if you have to know, Ray paid for the entire evening.”
Ray stares at me, his eyes looking me up and down. It feels like spiders and centipedes are running over my entire body.
“Ray sure stays here a lot but can’t even pay for a damn meal.”
“Hey! Watch your mouth!” Ray barks, taking a step toward me. My mom’s hand falls off him, and she stumbles to the side, grabbing onto the kitchen chair. It shoves into the table, making an ugly groan against the linoleum floor.
I’m usually not so forward. I don’t speak up or say anything, mostly to Ray. I stick to myself, staying out of his way. I don’t like confrontation. I don’t like anything that has to do with fucking conflict. But after last night… after Ray, then Lynx, and now my mom, I feel moments from completely losing my shit.
“I wasn’t fucking talking to you,” I snap.
He takes another step toward me. “You put my name on your fucking lips, you little bitch, and I’ll make you talk to me.”
I stare at him, wanting to punch him in the face so badly. I want his face to turn black and blue, even red for a second would suffice. I think of Lynx walking in here. He’d lay Ray on his ass, break every bone in his body by so much as breathing on him. It would take him nothing.
Nothing.
“I’m out of here,” I mumble.
“You aren’t going anywhere with that kind of attitude,” my mom lashes out, standing up straight. She walks past Ray, getting in my face and grabbing onto my bicep. Her press on fingernails from Walgreens dig into my skin, causing me to wince. “What the hell is wrong with you right now? You on your period or something?”
I rip my arm from hers. “No, Mom. I’m not on my period.”
“Well then cut the fucking attitude and apologize to Ray.”
I bark out a laugh, completely taken aback. After how they treat me all the time, literally don’t fucking take care of me or this place, and him calling me a little bitch, she wants me to apologize?
“I’m not apologizing. When’s the last time you got me a present? When’s the last time you did anything Christmas related for me? Do you not realize it’s Christmas tomorrow, and we don’t even have a tree?”
She rolls her eyes. “We never have a tree.”
“Because you never get one!” I screech. “Not because I don’t want one. No presents, no acknowledgment, nothing. Do you realize how embarrassing that is for me? How depressing it is, year after year, that you do absolutely nothing? Like it’s just another day?”
She sighs. “Iris, money is really tight…”
“But you and fucking Ray have enough to spend the entire night at the casino?” My skin literally ripples with rage, I swear I’m hot to the touch. “You are an absolute disgrace. I’m out of here.”
“Iris! No!” My mom steps toward me, but I slink away from her. “You are not leaving.”
I stomp to the door, swinging it open so hard it bangs against the wall. Glancing over my shoulder, I stare at my mom’s hungover face and Ray’s pissed off eyes. “Both of you can fuck right off for all I care.”
I slam the door closed, so damn proud of myself for standing up for myself for once, and so damn sad that this is how my life is.
I run down the stairs, slipping through the crack of the propped open door. It’s even cooler out today, and the cars rush down the streets, everyone in a hurry to finish their last-minute Christmas shopping. The farther I walk through the city, the more the streets and shops are decorated for the holidays.
Christmas bells chime from Salvation Army workers, lines to sit and take a picture with Santa assemble along the sidewalk near the strip mall, and Christmas trees for sale fill the parking lots.
It’s Christmas Eve, and I’m feeling anything but in the Christmas spirit.
What am I supposed to do now?
I have nowhere to go, no one to see, nothing to do.
But even as I say these words, I know I have one place I want to go. The only people I want to be with.
And with that realization, I make my decision, knowing exactly where I’m going.
Chapter 9
It takes me a while, but I eventually find a young couple who are heading toward Phoenix for Christmas, and I’m able to hitch a ride with them.
From the girl’s face as we neared the woods, I knew she didn’t want to go any further, so they dropped me on the outskirts of the thick trees. After a thirty-minute hike, the large gate finally comes into view. The dried streets have turned into ones lightly packed with snow.
The guy behind the gate, I think his name was Brutus… Bronson… I don’t quite remember, sits behind the gate, a heavy leather jacket on his back as he scrolls through his phone.
The sound of my feet crunching in the snow alerts him of my presence. He snaps his head up, and shuffles to a stand when he sees me, slipping his phone into his pocket.
“You okay?” His face scrunches in concern, which I guess I understand. I’m in a sweatshirt and sweatpants with sandals on my feet. I probably look a little crazy walking through the snow, my nose red and my hair in a messy bun. I didn’t have time to get ready, and now I’m suddenly embarrassed and unsure of my decision to come here.
Jesus, what the hell am I doing?
“Is Violet here?”
He nods his head. “Uh, yeah. Hold on.” He walks behind his booth to press a button, and I watch as the gate fully opens.
“Thank you,” I mumble, walking through the yard. It’s quiet, so much different from the night before with the large party and the flock of bikers. Now only seven bikes sit outside the clubhouse. As I walk toward the door, it opens, Haley stepping out with a confused look on her face.
“You okay, Iris?”
Do I look upset or something? Or is it just that unnatural to see someone walk through their clubhouse?
“I’m fine. Is Violet around?”
She tilts her head, concerned. “Yeah, she’s actually back at the house. I can take you there if you want to see her.”
I nod. “Yeah, that would be great.”
She nods toward a black SUV, all black and shiny and new looking. I walk over to it, hopping onto the passenger seat. She’s silent as she turns on the car, reversing out of her spot and driving down the opposite way I came in from.