“I don’t remember anything down this way,” I say, looking out the windows as the trees only continue to grow denser.
“All the houses are this way. No one actually lives at the clubhouse.”
I nod, watching as different houses pop up from between the trees.
“And here we are.” She pulls up along the right side of the road, a modern looking rambler making an appearance. It has large, panoramic windows, which show off the pine trees and mountains in the distance. It’s beautiful, yet not overly so. It’s nestled in the woods, like a hidden diamond.
“It’s pretty. Is this where Violet lives?”
“Yes, her and I together.”
My eyes widen. “Oh, I thought she lived with Lynx.”
She chuckles. “No, honey. Lynx doesn’t live with anyone. He’s too much of a stubborn ass. I think anyone who lives with him would kill him. Or vice versa.”
I smile, looking off into the distance. Thinking of him. Thinking of our night together. Does he hate me now? What would he think if he knew I was here?
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
My eyes flit over to hers. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Unbuckling my belt, I give her one more smile as I open the door. “Thank you for the ride.”
She smiles, though the concerned look never leaves her eyes. “I’ll be up at the clubhouse if you need me.”
Nodding, I slip from the car and walk to the front door. I think about just walking in, but decide against it, lifting my hand and giving two small knocks on the door.
“What the fuck?” I hear from the other side, and a small smile instantly quirks my lips.
The door swings open, and there stands Violet. She’s the most relaxed I’ve ever seen her, in joggers and a tank top, her hair pulled up in a high ponytail. “Iris? What the hell are you doing here?”
I think about telling her nothing. Coming up with some silly lie. Not that I don’t want to see her, because I do, but it’s so much more than that.
I needed to… escape.
“Sometimes, I really hate my life.”
She smiles sadly at me and reaches down, grabbing onto my hand and pulling me inside the house. It’s nice, simple, modern, with female touches here and there. That and Harley gear.
Harley gear everywhere.
She settles me onto a cream-colored sectional, pulling a Harley blanket over her legs. “When I was living on the streets with my parents, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t understand why my life was the way it was. I didn’t understand why I could walk blocks away and see people in mansions with nice cars and nice clothes. Why I would walk past the mall and see kids with parents handing their kids ice cream with three scoops when I’ve never even had one scoop. How is it fair that some kids get such a cushioned life, but we get the short end of the stick?
“But then I realized that we were handed the shitty life because we could deal with it. We were made to be stronger, go through the tougher shit because we can handle it. Our bones our stronger, our blood runs faster, our hearts beat heavier. We’re handed our lives because we’re capable of taking all we’ve ever known and making more for ourselves because of it. And some day, when the time is right, our lives won’t be so shitty anymore.
“I never would’ve been happy in a cushioned home, driving around in a Maserati and hanging out with surfers. I was made to live in this compound with these bikers, my dysfunctional family that’s not even really my family. They’re thicker than blood. These people are my everything. So don’t fret about life now, Iris, because it will get better. And I’ll fucking be there for you through every step of it.”
Tears run down my face, and I can barely breathe as the grief and pain of my entire life roars to the surface. I don’t want my life. It’s not a fair one. But if there’s even an inkling of truth in her words, I want to grasp onto them for dear life.
I want the good. I want it so damn bad.
“Thank you,” I whisper, wiping my face.
She chuckles, leaning over and wrapping her arms around me. “No, thank you. Sometimes I’m a piece of shit, and it’s times like this I realize how fucking grateful I should be. Mostly with Christmas being tomorrow? This is where I belong.”
I nod, knowing that there’s nothing that awaits me back at my apartment. My mom and Ray are probably going through my things for spare change so they can head back to the casino. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s where they spent Christmas day, leaving me alone in the cold, empty apartment.
“You can spend the day here with us tomorrow. We have a big thing with everyone. It’s a lot of fun.”
I smile sadly, shaking my head. “Thank you. That’s really nice, but I have to be home with my mom. She doesn’t have a lot of family, and I always try to spend time with her.” If she’s ever around, which is rarely ever.
She nods, like she knows I’m lying straight through my teeth. “Want to watch a movie?”
A genuine smile passes my lips this time. I can’t even say the last time I watched television. We don’t have one at our house, so I never have the chance.
“I think that sounds perfect.”
We snuggle underneath the Harley blanket, getting comfortable as Violet searches through Netflix for a movie. Resting my head on the couch pillow, I sigh when I smell the familiar scent of smoke and pine.
Lynx.
I burrow my face in the pillow, getting comfortable and closing my eyes.
I’m asleep before Violet even picks a movie.
Chapter 10
My eyes crack open, and I’m momentarily disoriented.
Where the hell am I?
I glance around, remembering I came over to Violet’s earlier. The day rushes back to me. Me running from our apartment, hitchhiking to the mountains, Violet’s talk…
“Fuck.”
The scent of Lynx hits me, and I roll my head into the pillow, wondering if he’s come here recently to make the pillow smell so strongly of him. I don’t understand why I have such a connection to him. It’s not like he wants me. It’s not like he cares about me. Not really, anyway.
“Violet?” I ask as I stand up, looking around the spotless house. The evening sun shines through the trees and into the windows, casting the dark wooden floors in a golden light.
Spotting a white scrap of paper on the table in front of me, I bend down, swiping it up and glancing at Violet’s messy scrawl.
Iris,
Haley needed me to help her get ready for Christmas up at the clubhouse. I’ll be back in a few hours. Feel free to hang out here or come up if you want to hang with us.
I’ll be back in a bit.
V.
With a sigh, I drop the note back on the table, walking around the couch. I don’t want to go to the clubhouse, but I also don’t really want to be here by myself.
But there’s one thing I want even less, and that’s to go back to my house already. I’d rather wait till later, when I know my mom will either be gone or passed out. I don’t want to deal with her or Ray anymore today.
I walk through the kitchen, seeing live-edge wood countertops and dark matte stainless-steel appliances. A lone coffee cup sits in the sink that reads badass bitch in the center.