I chuckle at the thought that I notoriously overpack every time I travel.
“Fine, I’ll text you, maybe around one?”
“Okay.” He stands up and before I can think I’m engulfed in a hug. He wraps his arms tightly around me and I can feel him resting his chin on top of my head.
“I love you, Gab.” Those four words, when used together by James Calloway, in that order makes me melt. My blood heats up and the space between my legs begins to thump painfully in need of a release. Fuck, I want to kiss him. Rub up against him. Make him come. Make me come.
I want so much and I can’t have any of it so as calmly as I can, I respond, “I love you too, J.”
I’m safely behind the door of James’ guest room for about two seconds before I’m lying on the bed with my hand inside of my panties. I’m too riled up to sleep now, after my mind went through a million scenarios of what could have happened after he uttered those words.
Would it be the worst thing to tell him?
What’s the worst that could happen?
I sit up, staring at my phone, briefly wondering if I should text him.
No no no fuck no. You’re thinking with your clitoris and it’s going to get you in deep trouble. You need to come NOW.
I close my eyes and focus on the ache between my legs when it starts to build. A whimper leaves my lips and I slap a hand over my mouth before blindly reaching for a pillow to bite down on. I grab one, pulling it over my face as I continue to grind against my hand. I pull my clit in between my two fingers and roll it. I think about FaceTiming him while I do this. I think about him one room over completely oblivious to the fact that his little sister is rubbing her pussy while wicked thoughts of him float through her mind.
I love you, Gab.
A moan rumbles at the back of my throat but I don’t dare let it escape as I bite down hard on my bottom lip as the orgasm zips up my spine. I turn over on my stomach at the peak of the high and ride out the rest of it as I hump against my hand wishing like hell it was James’ cock. Wishing that my clit was rubbing against him and not my palm. The orgasm subsides and just like always I’m left frustrated and ashamed over my carnal thoughts.
I can’t have James and I just needed to get over it.
By the grace of God, I’m able to put the awkward encounter from this morning out of my thoughts long enough to take my statistics final, but as soon as I set my pen down after completing the final test of my first semester of college, the events of the morning began to resurface.
I’m not sure why James is being so weird, but I know that something is off and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I tried to press it, asking him what was up but his answers were short, clipped, and almost cold. I’m packing the rest of my stuff into my suitcase when my phone rings.
“Can you be ready earlier than one? I got out of work a little earlier,” James says as soon as I answer.
“Hello to you too, and yes, my exam went well, thanks.”
“Sorry, Gabrielle. Just a lot of shit going on with work.”
I frown, thinking of his use of my full name which he rarely uses. “You never call me Gabrielle.”
He chuckles. “It’s your name.” I can hear the overt sarcasm and it annoys the shit out of me. He never talks to me this way.
“You know what I mean, James.”
He’s quiet for a second and then it’s as if my previous comment wasn’t uttered. “Can you be ready sooner or no?”
“Why are you acting like you’re mad at me?” It’s a weird thing when you’re in love with someone in your family. Fights or disagreements with them feel personal in two ways that somehow have to co-exist within you. I’m his sister and the person he may be closest to in life. He’s my best friend and I never wanted to be on weird terms with him. But I’m also in love with him which makes things difficult in their own way.
Luckily for me, we aren’t together, so I can push him without seeming like the whiny emotional girlfriend.
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You were weird this morning. Like I did something. Please talk to me.”
“Gab, just let it go. It’s just work.”
“And now you’re lying to me! What happened to telling each other everything?”
He’s silent and I pull my phone away from my ear briefly, wondering if we lost the call or if he really lost his mind and hung up on me. “Do you need help with your stuff?”
“Why do you keep changing the subject? Why are you not answering any of my questions?”
“GAB!” he shouts and my eyes widen at his tone. “Just…let it the fuck alone, alright?”
My eyebrows furrow and tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. “Fuck you, James. Don’t take whatever shit you have going on out on me. I’m not coming over. I’ll tell Mom to book me a train.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Gabrielle, don’t be stubborn.”
“You should have thought about that before you were a dick,” I growl before hanging up. I rarely do that. Hang up on anyone, let alone James. Guilt pumps through me as I begin to pace the room wondering why on Earth he’s behaving this way. What happened between me going to bed and waking up this morning that would make him so pissy with me?
A part of me wonders if maybe he heard me masturbate last night, but while he may be slightly embarrassed over it, who the hell cares? It’s not like I screamed his name during my climax no matter how badly I wanted to.
My phone begins to vibrate in my hand and part of me wants to ignore it, just once. Just so I can say I can and that he doesn’t have complete power over me. I squeeze my eyes shut and let out a breath before answering the phone. “What?”
“Come let me in.”
I grit my teeth, getting myself ready to give the bitchiest attitude. “Why?”
“Because I’m here to get you and you might need help. Don’t make me tell you again.” His tone is direct with a bite to it and my mouth drops open just as my sex throbs painfully. Fuck, why is that so hot? Don't act turned on, Gabrielle. Act pissed.
“Excuse me? Who are you? Mom?”
“Gabrielle, I’m not in the mood.”
“And I already said to take your shitty mood and leave me be, I just finished my first semester of college today; I’d like to be in a good mood if you don’t mind.”
He lets out a sigh and I hear him say thank you and then the sound of a door closing. I roll my eyes knowing that means he’s in the building now. “I know and I’m sorry.” I hear shuffling outside of my door and then a knock. “Please just let me in.”
I swallow. “Why are you being so mean?”
“It’s nothing you did, Gab. I promise.” I lean against my desk staring at the door. “Please?”
I move towards the door and open it slowly, standing in the way of the door so that he can’t come in yet. “Say you’re sorry.”
A smile pulls at his lips and he reaches up to rub my cheek gently. I’m glad I’m wearing a sweatshirt because the goosebumps are covering my arms at his gentle touch. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “You’re the only person I never take my shit out on and…I fucked up by doing so.”