All my self-respect went out the window the minute Valerie called me begging to spend Christmas at her father-in-law's cabin. I hadn't heard her voice in so long that all it took was her to say a few choice words, and I was putty in her hands, booking the next flight out of the city to Colorado Mountains.
And getting on an airplane here was a feat all in itself since she knows damn well how I hate flying. Ever since our parents died my senior year in high school when their private jet went down in St. Barts, I've done my very best to stay clear of flying altogether.
Not Valerie, though. She didn't gain the same fear of flying as I did. Maybe it's because she was too young to link the two things together, or perhaps it's because she's just braver than I am. Lord knows she isn't afraid to put herself out there in any capacity. And she sure as shit never cared about doing whatever she felt like, no matter who it hurt.
So again, why am I even here when I'm usually the one that gets the shorter end of the stick where she's concerned?
Oh, that's right.
It's because even after all Valerie has done to me, deep down, I still love my baby sister with all my heart.
I wish I could shut it off since love has made a fool out of me more times than I care to admit. But when it comes to Valerie, that's easier said than done. After our parents died, all we had was each other, and for a while, I honestly believed that was enough. I thought our sisterly bond was made from solid steel and that no one could ever interfere with that.
But I was wrong.
Someone did come in between us.
Ironically enough, it was the one person I thought would also be in our lives forever—my boyfriend and soon-to-be fiancé, Knox. Never in my wildest imagination would I ever think he would be responsible for the pain and misery I went through this past year. But then again, I'd never thought my sister would steal my boyfriend behind my back and elope in Vegas, of all places, either.
So, I guess I was wrong on both accounts.
"Miss," someone calls out to me, bringing me back from my reverie. "Do you need a ride?"
I smile at the cab driver waiting for my reply and offer him a clipped nod.
"Where to?" he asks once I've settled in the back seat.
"Good question. I'm not entirely sure," I mumble under my breath.
"I beg your pardon, Miss?"
"I…um…just take me to the nearest bar."
"Oh, it was that kind of flight, was it ?" He laughs. "Okay, then, Miss. I know just the place to take you to unwind."
"Thank you," I reply, thankful that at least one of us knows what they're doing.
I'm not even sure I should be in this cab or booking a flight home. And as if the devil herself heard my indecision, Valerie decides that now is a good time to call me. I just stare at her picture on my screen, a pang of guilt and resentment settling in my chest every time I send her to voicemail. After the third call, I take a big gulp of air into my lungs and answer it.
"Finally!" she shouts in the way of greeting. "I was beginning to think you were blowing me off."
"And why would I do that?"
Could it be because I'm not exactly thrilled about spending Christmas with you and your new husband, aka my college boyfriend?
Instead of answering my question, Valerie starts rambling about what she's been doing to get her father-in-law's place ready for the festivities. I have to admit I'm a little jealous of how she's settling into the family I thought would be mine one day. I've met Knox's mom a few times but never his dad in all the years we dated. But I guess that's partially my fault since he did invite me plenty of times to come with him to Colorado. Again, my fear of flying had been the impediment.
"So, when is your plane getting here?" Valerie asks after a while.
"Tomorrow." I hear myself answer.
Thankfully I never told her which flight I'd be on, but then again, she didn't ask either.
"Good. That gives me enough time to have everything ready for you to arrive."
"Val," I stammer, thinking this to be my only opportunity to back out. "Maybe it's not a good idea for me to come after all. Don't you think things will be awkward with me there?"
"Why would they be awkward?"
Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I was expecting Knox to pop the question to me after we graduated instead of running around my back and marrying you?
But like the self-imposed good girl that I am, I bite my tongue, keeping those hateful words lodged in my throat.
"I mean… is Knox okay with this?"
"Of course, he is. Why wouldn't he be? You're family, after all."
I roll my eyes at that. Usually, family doesn't see you naked, but m'kay.
"Call me tomorrow when your flight gets in. I'm so excited for us to catch up, Nicki. I've missed you terribly."
There's that pang in my chest again.
"Me too."
"Talk to you tomorrow. Have a safe flight."
Before I'm able to say anything in return, she's hung up.
I lean back in my seat, pinching the bridge of my nose to lighten the migraine I feel coming on.
It's just one week.
I can live through one week with them.
I have to.
Valerie is the only family I have left. If I lose her, then I'll have no one, and that thought hurts me more than losing my boyfriend to my younger sister ever could.
Thirty minutes later, the cab stops at my destination. I pay the cab driver as he goes on about how this bar is the best one in town and how I won't be bothered by anyone while I try to relax. Logically speaking, I should be more interested in finding a place to stay the night then get my drink on, but I guess common sense flew out the window the second I boarded a plane.
With my carry-on in tow, I walk into the dim-lit bar and find the nearest stool.
"What's your poison, darling?" the barmaid asks when she spots me.
"Vodka. The strongest you got."
"Trying to gain some liquid courage before your flight?" she says with a teasing smile, eyeing my luggage.
"More like doing anything to avoid seeing family."
"I hear that," a smooth velvety voice chuckles from behind me.
The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, and my heart does a double-take with the familiar low timbre. I swallow dryly and fidget in my seat, confused as to why my body suddenly feels warm and tingly. If I believed in those things, I would swear I’ve heard this voice before, maybe even been haunted by it in another life. But since I don’t believe in such nonsense, I push the peculiar sense of déjà vu away and do my very best not to stare as he takes a seat on the barstool beside me.
"A shot of whiskey, please, Charlotte," he orders, apparently knowing the bartender's name by heart.
"Sure thing, James," she replies with a cheeky smile that tells me she must have seen him naked at one point.
Good for you, girl.
I wouldn't mind seeing this exquisite creature in the buff, either. In fact, it would be the highlight of my year.
Since Knox broke my heart to run off with Valerie, I haven't exactly had much luck in the bedroom department. Call it trauma or my own insecurities, but getting in bed with a guy who would probably end up disappointing me, or worse, hurting me, is low on my to-do list.