God, why am I letting him do this to me? I’m aware that this is wrong and someone might catch us but right now, as I stare into his dark eyes, I just don’t care about anything but the pain in my heart.
“You wanted me to stay, baby?” he questions softly.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think so?”
“Why?” he demands. “Why do you think your feelings and thoughts don’t matter?”
I look away but quick as lightning, he hands his fingers at my chin, forcing me to look back at him.
“James, I don’t think…”
“You have no idea what this mouth does to me when you say my name like that,” he purrs and the thing in my chest goes crazy. He smirks but grows serious in a heartbeat as if he really wants to know what’s going on and isn’t going to let this go. “And now that I just told you how I feel, you gave me a response.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“On the contrary,” he whispers, the rough timber of his voice washing over me in a...well, in a forbidden way. “Your eyes are dilated, your breath has quickened and I can almost smell your arousal and it’s all because I shared my honest feelings with you about how you drive me crazy.. Why don’t you think your feelings don’t matter?”
“You don’t know me enough to say that.”
“I know your body,” he says as his hand makes its way to the waistband of my pants and then they slowly make their way down to the spot between my legs that’s throbbing for him. “So fucking soaked,” he hisses, his finger strumming magic between my legs. “Your body never lies.”
“James,” I gasp.
“Why do you think your feelings don’t matter?”
“Feelings…” I trail off when I feel James’ fingers circle and flick my clit.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that,” he taunts, sinking two fingers into me.
“Feelings are not important,” I gasp, wanting to gyrate my hips in time with his fingers.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes! They don’t really matter. No one gives a damn about someone’s else’s feelings.” And I have the evidence to prove it. Exhibit A being my own sister married to my ex. If they cared at all about what I think and my feelings, they’d never have hurt me the way they did. “I don’t love him,” I breathe, staring into Jame’s heated and stern gaze. “I’m over him.”
“But you’re still hurt.”
I want to deny it. I want to shake it off and be brave but I just don’t feel like it.
“Yes.”
As soon as I admit that, his fingers slip out of me and then he gets up and places me down on the bed. But before I can think he’s about to fuck me again--or get excited about it-- he plants a chaste kiss on my forehead and then steps back.
“Now, was that so hard?” he asks, then takes a step back, then another as if to leave. “Well, welcome to my home.”
My jaw drops to my lap. “What? That’s it?”
Scandalized, aroused and feeling out of sorts, I watch as he brings the same fingers that were in my pussy just now, to his lips, then he sucks. Hard.
“Hmmm,” he hums. “Was there something else?”
Urgh! “You know what you did!” I accuse. Is this man really going to leave me all strung up like this? After he made me bleed all that emotional shit in front of him? What the fuck? “Come back here.”
“Delayed gratification.”
“You didn’t say a word about that last night.”
“Still thinking about that, huh?” he smirks, his fucking handsome face infuriating me to the hell and back.
“I’m not thinking about my ex’s daddy.”
“Daddy?” he scoffs, raising an eyebrow at me. “My son would rather choke on ashes than call me that but you…you don’t strike me as the type to have daddy issues. Sure you’re strangely insecure, have some confidence issues as if you don’t know your own power or how fucking sexy you are, I’m currently fighting my own instincts to strip you down and fuck you right there in front of the window.” A breath escapes my lips at those words, because fuck, I can see the picture he’s painting. Me, at his mercy, naked, straining against his hard, muscular body. Fuck.
“I’m not my sister.”
“No you most certainly are not,” he agrees. “You’re your own person. So fucking beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off you but more than that, you care.”
I’m pretty sure if he keeps talking, I’ll give myself an emotional whiplash and then start crying. It’s been a long twenty-four hours.
“Carrying is what got me in this mess in the first place.”
“No, you slipped into my bed in the middle of the night and begged me to show you a whole different world, Nicole,” he says roughly. “How could we not fucking find our way back together.”
I stare at him, my heart racing so hard and so fast in my chest.
“This is wrong.”
“And you, baby, you get excited by the wrongness of it all,” he says darkly. “This is going to be a Christmas to remember.”
And with that, he opens the door but before he leaves, he turns back to look at me. “And just so we’re clear, I expect to hear every thought you have, you’re going to tell me everything you feel when I’m fucking you with my tongue, my fingers and my cock.”
Stunned and breathless, I hold his gaze. It’s as if he’s snaking his way into my soul and branding me in a way that will devastate me when I have to leave this place. When I have to leave him.
“I don’t think I can…” I start but trail off. He gets it though. He always does.
“Well, whatever or whoever made you feel insignificant, you’re going to stop giving them that power or you and I are going to have problems.”
My God. Who talks like that and why am I wet?
“But you still lied to me.”
“I’ll admit, when you snuck into my bed all those years ago and begged me to take you, I was going to tell you to leave, but then it’s you and as evidenced by last night, I can’t resist you.”
And me, like a fool, I can’t resist him either.
“But you’re Knox’s dad.”
“I know,” he bites out, looking agitated for the first time.
“He’s my ex.”
“And now, he’s your brother in law.”
“Yeah, there’s that,” I mutter.
James grabs my chin in a gentle grasp, forcing me to look up at him.
“Nicole, I never said this wasn’t fucked up but then again you said you don’t love him anymore.”
Yes, I don’t. Right?
James watches me intently, waiting for my answer but suddenly I’m tongue-tied, not knowing what to say.
“James…” I start but he cuts me off.
“To be fucking clear, you’re spending the next few days in my home, sleeping under my roof, in a room right next to mine, if you think there isn’t a time I won’t push your limits, make you fucking come for me or take my pleasure from your mouth, your body and your soul, then you’ll need to reevaluate your knowledge of me, because this, you and me, regardless of anyone else, is happening.”