“No.” I want to kick myself when the word leaves my mouth. Of course I don’t want him to go, but I don’t know what to say to get him to stay either.
He crosses to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“Yes.”
He hesitates, then walks through. I sit heavily on a chair and bang my forehead on the table. I should have asked him to stay.
The entire time we played cards, my shoe was resting against his. My leg went numb a few times because I refused to move it. We weren’t touching, not really, but I swear I could feel him. And I couldn’t help but think of the hour I spent on the horse with his strong arms around me. And when he whispered in my ear, I almost detonated on the spot.
I’d never played cards so poorly.
I watch the door, almost expecting him to come back and tell me he’s changed his mind. I fantasize about him carrying me up the stairs to one of the guest rooms. We’d make love on the bed, the chair, even in the large tub, and he’d tell me I’m a good person. For a second, I’d believe him.
After I change into the T-shirt I’ve been sleeping in, I go out on the roof. I love being here when there are no guests. I can turn off all the outside lights and enjoy an amazing view. I glance at Aaron’s cabin and see movement in one dimly lit window. Is he getting ready for bed? Does he sleep naked?
I lie down and look for the Big Dipper. It’s technically not a constellation, because it’s part of a larger one. But it’s the most recognizable and a good place to start for a novice like me.
I’m tracing it with my finger when I hear noise inside. Someone takes a tumble.
“Shit,” Aaron curses. “Shit, shit, shit.”
I rise on my elbows. “You okay?”
“Hit my knee on the corner of something.”
“You could have used a light.”
“I was going for the element of surprise.”
“You wanted to scare me into falling off the roof?”
He sighs. “Maybe I didn’t think it through.” He climbs through the window. “Couldn’t sleep either?”
“Didn’t even try.”
“Me neither. Mind if I join you?”
I scoot over, and he lies next to me. I pick up his hand and put it underneath mine, then retrace the stars. “Do you see it?”
“The Big Dipper. It’s one of the two I know.”
“Let me guess, the other is the Little Dipper.”
“I’m lame, I know.”
“You’re not lame.” I put his hand down.
He takes my hand in his. “Tell me about the stars.”
“I don’t know much. The Big Dipper is part of a larger constellation called Ursa Major, which is the third largest constellation. It covers over three percent of the sky.”
“That’s huge.”
“It borders eight other constellations. Draco, Leo, Leo Minor, and some others I can’t remember. It’s a twenty-eight-sided irregular polygon. Ursa Major was the inspiration for Vincent van Gogh’s Starry Night painting.”
“You remembered that stuff from your book? That’s pretty good. If your memory’s that good, maybe you should consider counting cards in Vegas.”
I laugh and pull my hand away.
He captures it again. “What happened to you, Devyn?”
My smile fades. “What happened to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Joe said we all have secrets. I got the feeling he was talking about himself and you.”
“I could tell you, but I get the feeling you kind of like me. I’d rather not change that.”
I stare at the side of his head. I could have said the exact same thing. Is he reading my mind? “I get the feeling you kind of like me, too.”
He scoots closer. Our faces are inches apart. “So we can agree that we like each other and everyone has secrets?”
“I suppose we can.”
“Can we agree that I want to kiss you, and you’re going to let me?”
The smile returns. Without thinking much about it, I straddle him. We stare at each other. Then at the exact same time, he stretches up, I lean down, and our lips meet.
Days, weeks of sexual tension and pure animal attraction culminate in a kiss like I’ve never experienced. The heat of his lips. The pressure of his hands on the back of my head. The intense feeling of our bodies finally mashing together the way we might have both dreamed. It’s explosive.
It lasts minutes, maybe hours. I have no idea. I’ve lost track of time. He flips me over so I’m beneath him, and he murmurs something into my mouth. I think he says, “Oh my god,” but I probably only think it because those exact words are on repeat in my head.
I gaze at the stars as his lips work on my neck. The feel of his tongue on my skin mesmerizes me as much as the view above. It’s the most perfect moment of my life.
He balances himself on his elbows. “Jesus, Devyn.”
“You too?”’
“What the hell is happening?”
“I don’t know. All I know is I don’t want it to stop.”
He sits up and grasps the hem of my T-shirt. He waits for permission. I guide his hands up and over my head, and my shirt comes off, leaving me naked except for panties.
He looks at my breasts. I don’t wait for him to make a move. I place his hands on me.
I tuck my hands into the back of his pants, needing to feel skin. I can’t get leverage, so I unbutton his jeans and push them down, then reach around and grab his ass. He tears his shirt off.
Seeing him shirtless in the moonlight is something out of my dreams. My deepest fantasies. I tug at his pants. “Off. Now.”
He removes his pants but keeps on his skivvies. That’s fair; I’m still wearing mine.
I run my finger under the waistband. “More.”
“Are you sure?”
“More.”
He strips off his boxer briefs, and his erection springs free, its silhouette standing proud and tall against the starlit night sky. I don’t deserve this. I’ve done nothing to earn this. But I’m going to take as much as he wants to give me.
“Now me,” I say, guiding his hands to my underwear.
I’ve had men try to rip them off and take what wasn’t theirs, but not him. He slowly slides my panties down my legs and then appraises me as if he’s never seen a naked woman before. I heard the guys talking when I was painting the stable. He’s seen plenty, probably more than he can remember. What he doesn’t know is this is the first time I’ve seen a naked man. In the flesh anyway.
He’s breathing so hard I can feel the puffs of breath across my chest. He looks into my eyes, and for a moment, I think he’s going to stop. It almost seems like he’s in pain.
He says, “I’ve never seen anything so fucking gorgeous in my life.”
That’s it. I’m done. My heart melts. “Aaron, will you make love to me?”
He lowers himself to me, and his erection presses against my thigh. “Hell yes, I will. But not yet.”
He takes my nipple into his mouth, and my head goes back at the exquisite feeling. He teases me, tastes me, tempts me. His tongue blazes a path lower, down my abdomen and across my belly. I tense. No man has ever put his mouth on me there, but this is Aaron. He’s the one I want there. He’s the one I want everywhere.