When he puts his tongue on me, I shudder. I’ve read about it. Dreamt about it. But words can’t possibly describe the way this feels. I’m in heaven, surrounded by stars, with this man touching me like I’m the most precious thing in the world.
He inserts a finger, then another. He moves them around as if he’s a musician and I’m his instrument. I’m building like a crescendo. My hands ball into fists. My teeth dig into my lower lip. A sound I’ve never heard escapes my throat, and I shout.
When I stop pulsating, he climbs up my body. “Holy shit, Dev. Now I’ve seen and heard the most gorgeous things.”
He called me Dev. Only one other person has ever used that nickname for me. The only person who ever loved me.
Tears spill down my face. I hope he doesn’t notice.
Fat chance. He leans over and kisses one. I’m embarrassed, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, the way he’s looking at me tells me just the opposite. He wants more. I want more.
He hovers over me like he’s asking for permission again.
My body is humming. I don’t have a choice. The answer is yes. Hell yes. Holy fucking god, yes.
I pull him toward me and touch his stiff, velvety penis. He pulls back, and I think maybe I’m being too aggressive. But he grabs his pants, retrieves his wallet, and removes a condom.
Of course. What was I thinking? I’m glad one of us has their wits about them.
He holds the condom up. “If you touch me, I’ll explode, so which is it?”
“Put it on.”
He smiles. I thought I knew every one of his smiles, but this one is different. It transports me to places I’ve never been. To feelings I’ve never had. To wants I’ve never experienced.
He rolls it on and gets into position. He locks eyes with me as he guides himself inside me. I wait for pain, the pinch, a sting I’ve read about. It never comes. He glides in and out with ease, setting a slow pace that I match with my hips.
As he gazes down on me, all I can think of is I’ve found it. The holy grail, the fountain of youth, the key to humanity—all of it. Tears threaten a second time. Is it like this for everyone?
“Aaron?”
He stills. “Are you okay?”
How do I tell him I’m not okay? I’m the farthest from okay I’ve ever been. I’m floating, I’m flying, I’m soaring among the stars. “I’m… I’m…”
He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “Me, too.”
I run my fingernails down his back. Across his ass. Up his ribs. He pumps faster. He must be close; I can feel his desperation.
“Dev… oh god.” He tenses.
I watch his face as he comes. It looks like it hurts, but that’s followed by complete and total elation. That’s exactly what he did to me. My life as I know it is forever changed. I’m not the same person I was twenty minutes ago. Is he?
He collapses on me, breathing heavily.
When he rolls off me, we both look at the sky. Clouds are rolling in and covering the stars.
“Jesus, Devyn.”
I get up on an elbow. “You’re welcome?”
We fall into a fit of laughter, and I realize this might just be the very best moment of my entire life.
We dress and go downstairs. Neither of us seems sure what should happen next.
He kisses my forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I nod.
He leaves, and my stomach heaves. I run to the bathroom and vomit, knowing I’m the last person in the world who deserves to feel what I just felt—deliriously happy.
Chapter Fifteen
Aaron
I walk blindly around the store. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never bought flowers for a woman. Hell, I’ve never bought anything for a woman.
“Can’t go wrong with roses,” the lady behind the counter says. “Everyone loves roses.”
I shake my head. “She’s definitely not everyone.”
“Ah, one of those.” She closes her eyes and sighs. “Had me one of those once, God rest his soul.”
Something catches my eye. I pick up an arrangement of white lilies.
The lady rushes over. “It ain’t Easter, and I’m pretty darn sure you’re not off to a funeral.” She takes them from me.
I want to tell her that some people like them anyway. People like my mom. And my guardian angel.
She must sense what I’m feeling. She picks up another. “If you’re dead set on lilies, go for the colorful ones. Shall I have them delivered?”
“No, I’ll deliver them myself.”
“Good for you,” she says. “Chivalry is all but dead these days. Best to own up to your feelin’s rather than sit by the phone and hope she calls, eh?”
“I suppose.”
She rings me up. “You look her right in the eye when you give these to her. If she’s special, you need to let her know right away. Never stop lettin’ her know.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She puts the arrangement in a box that will keep it from falling over on the way home.
I haven’t stopped thinking about Devyn since I left last night. I got up far before my alarm and raced through my morning chores so I could go into town and get these to her before the guests arrive.
Last night was unbelievable. We connected on some level I didn’t know existed. It wasn’t just sex. It was… Well, whatever’s better than sex.
I pull up to the lodge and remove the vase from the box. I pass Lora’s car on my way to the door. She’s early. I contemplate waiting until later to do this. But what if Devyn and I run into each other, I don’t have the flowers, and it’s awkward because she doesn’t know how I feel about last night, and I can’t say anything until I give her the flowers? It’s best to take them in now.
Get a grip, I chastise myself. You’re not thirteen.
I enter through the back. Lora is leaning against the counter, sipping coffee. She eyes the flowers. “Table decoration?”
“No.” I glance at Devyn’s room. The door is open, but the lights aren’t on. “Have you seen Devyn?”
Her nose turns up so slightly that it’s almost imperceptible. I wonder if Devyn was right about her. “She’s probably doing whatever maids do.”
“She’s not a maid, Lora.”
“Housekeeper. Cleaner. Servant. Which word do you prefer?”
The claws are definitely out.
I cross the kitchen to the rec room. Lora follows.
“I can find her myself,” I say. “Why don’t you hang out in the kitchen and finish your drink?”
She seems upset as she spins on her heels and leaves.
After searching every room and guest suite, I try the attic. “Devyn? You up there?”
“One sec!”
I put the vase on the floor beside the door. She appears at the top of the stairs, and I wonder how she’s gotten more beautiful since last night. She smiles. I almost sigh in relief. I wondered if she would think it was a mistake. We did kind of go from zero to sixty in two-point-five seconds.
“What are you doing up there?”
“Just thinking.”
“In the attic?”