"So what do we do?"
He sips from his straw, which makes me wonder how he figured that out, and then sets his drink down. "It depends on who it is that is seeking us out. It could be someone allied with Riekki, or someone seeking to use us for their own gain. You seem sad, Carly." Kassam puts an arm across the back of the booth, hugging me closer. "Are you all right?"
Am I all right? "We're being chased down by gods I didn't know existed in my world, I just lost my job, my neighbor hates me, my apartment is lost to us, and you want me dead. Of course I'm not all right."
At that, Kassam frowns. "I do not want you dead, Carly." His free hand slides to my thigh. "You are my anchor. If you die in this world, I might be trapped here."
Well, great. I'm thrilled that his only reason for wanting to keep me alive is so he won't be trapped. Heaven forbid. "You're kind of an asshole, you know that?"
"You are mad at me, and I am being honest with you, Carly. I wish nothing but to be honest." He shrugs. "Would you rather I give you pretty lies?"
I glare at him. "Maybe I'm tired of being told that I exist purely to service your needs. Meanwhile, my life is in danger and I'm being chased out of my home by gods that are pissed you're in their territory. And here I am, in your eyes, existing solely to scratch your itches."
Kassam blinks. Then, his grin slowly spreads across his face and he chuckles, the sound low and throaty. "Are you developing feelings for me, Carly?"
Ugh, this man. I want to choke him and kiss him at the same time, and I know the kissing is only because of his hedonism curse. "The only feelings I have right now are sheer frustration that I'm utterly powerless in my own life and no one seems to care. I feel like I brought a stick to a sword fight. Better yet, a stick to a gunfight."
He gazes at me with amusement. "If it helps, you are nothing to these other gods. They are only interested in me."
Not exactly the comforting words he was looking for. "Do you know if they are coming to kill you?" Because if they are, I'm fucked. "Or to push you back to your world?"
"I am not certain, but it did not feel like a well-meaning deity behind that door," Kassam admits. He squeezes my thigh again, this time his hand a little higher up my thigh. "Do not worry, my little light. I will keep you safe."
Somehow I have my doubts. "I'm not even sure you want to."
"I do." Kassam's big, warm hand slides higher. "Who would scratch my itches for me if not my pretty Carly?"
I glare at him, even as my body quivers with need. It's like he can sense how he affects me—either that or I'm wearing a hungry, needy expression on my face—because he slides his hand into my pants and starts touching me. I'm wet, because my body's determined to betray me. I bite my lip, holding back the needy sound that threatens to escape.
"Feels like I am not the only one itching," Kassam murmurs. "Do you like my touch, my light?"
My body clenches around nothing, and I hate that when he rubs my clit, everything in me responds. I lift one foot to the other bench across from me, spreading my legs under the table so he can touch me better. My head falls back, and I press against his shoulder. He leans in to kiss me—
And I turn away. "N-no," I breathe, because somehow, him kissing me feels like a betrayal.
He pulls back in surprise, still toying with my aching clit. "Why 'no'?"
"Because." Because I need to hold something back from him. Because I don't want to catch feelings for him only to be constantly hurt when he reminds me that I'm nothing more than a convenient vessel for him. "Kisses are for romance, and you've made it quite clear there's nothing romantic about what's going on between us."
"But what if I like kissing you?" He shifts his hand, pushing a finger deep inside me even as his thumb works my clit, and I grab onto his shirt, clinging to him. If someone walks past, they'll see us. Hell, we're probably on the security cameras. But if someone asked me to move away in this moment, I don't think I could. "What if I like capturing that lovely mouth of yours, Carly?"
Kassam's lips hover over mine even as he fucks me with his hand, trying to push me into giving in.
"I'd tell you…" I manage, our mouths brushing, "too bad. You can have my body, but you can't have my kiss."
He chuckles. "The gods love a challenge, my little light. If you're trying to make me lose interest, you're failing."
I don't care. All I know is that I have to keep something for myself or I'll go crazy. He's got his hand in my pants at a convenience store, and I am shamelessly grinding against it. He's turned me into a person I don't even recognize anymore.
If withholding a few kisses helps me keep my sanity, I'm all for it. If nothing else, it feels good to be able to say “no” to Kassam on something. He watches me with a strange new curiosity, as if I've surprised him.
I'm guessing the gods don't get refused a lot of things.
16
After spending a miserable night in the convenience store, we head out before dawn.
Shirley—the lovely woman behind the convenience store counter who's fed us and let us hang out all night—drives us downtown to my mom's shop the moment she gets off her shift. She's been casting hungry looks at Kassam all night long, but they've fallen into discussions about what kind of snacks are best for late-night binges, and spent the last few hours taste-testing types of candy while I flipped through bridal magazines, ate my weight in stale packaged cookies, and waited for dawn impatiently. I can't go home. I'm not sure I can ever go home again. Not with something evil waiting for me there.
One day at a time has turned into one hour at a time.
Shirley pulls up to the building that houses my mom's shop and idles her car at the curb. "You sure I can't do anything else for you, baby?" She gazes at Kassam intently, ignoring me. I'm starting to get used to that, though, and this time it doesn't hurt my feelings. Considering that Kassam's low-key flirting with this woman kept us fed and safe all night, I'll take it.
"You have been more than enough, my dove," Kassam murmurs, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. "We would be lost without you."
She looks fascinated at his touch. "I work the overnight shift again tonight if you're around."
"Thanks, Shirley," I say, climbing out of the car. The pavement of the sidewalk scratches at my bare feet but it doesn't look incredibly filthy, so that's a plus. Kassam follows me and we head toward Mom's shop, moving down the empty street. Downtown Chicago is busy a lot of times of day, but the crack of dawn is not one of them. The storefronts are all dark, and Mom's shop is as deserted as the rest of them.
I try the door, just because I don't relish the thought of sitting on the sidewalk in front of her shop for hours, and I'm surprised when it opens, the chimes clanging against the glass as I pull it open. "Ma?"
"In the back, darling. Stay out there!" my mom calls, voice muffled. Sure enough, there's a line of light under the stock-room door, so I usher Kassam inside and lock the door behind me.