“We both know where her mind is,” Mike commented, lifting his espresso to his lips and taking a sip.
Lana breezed into the café and dumped her purse onto a chair. “Whew! What a day!” She said, pushing her dark curls off her forehead. A moment later, Lana froze, looking at the others surrounding the table, then frowned at Tamara. “Darn it, when is she going to call him?”
Mike laughed, shaking his head. “She’s being stubborn.”
Willow and Lana rolled their eyes. “Imagine that,” Lana muttered.
“Hey!” Tamara argued. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here!”
Willow patted her arm gently. “You’re not here, honey. Your body is here, but your mind is in Tular. And as much as we’ll miss you when you finally stop being so stubborn, you’ll fly off to Tular and be happy, married to your big, sweet, hunky sheik.”
“I’m happy,” Tamara snapped as she picked up her cup of coffee. But the smell of the coffee made her slightly ill so she set the cup back down and glared at her friends. “I’m deliriously happy.”
“Right,” Willow replied, shaking her head.
Lana tilted her head to the side. “Has she always been this stubborn?”
Mike groaned. “Remember when she got it into her head to make our Halloween costumes?”
Both Lana and Willow groaned, Willow slapping her hand on her forehead. “Why? Why did she even try?”
Tamara bristled in her chair. “Hey! Those were some great costumes!”
Mike chuckled. “Eventually, yeah. They were pretty amazing…after Willow fixed them.” They all smiled at the horrific memory. “You had to teach yourself how to learn to sew, then it took you about six tries for the first costume. You just kept doing it over and over again because it wasn’t ‘right’ or perfect or didn’t match whatever image you had in your mind.”
“They were great costumes!” she repeated, glaring at Mike. Still, she looked over at Willow who truly had come to save the day with her creative genius at crafts and…well, fixing crazy-looking Halloween costumes.
Mike leaned over to Lana. “She’s a bit grouchy too!” he said in a stage whisper.
Tamara leaned back in her chair, ignoring them as she flipped through her messages on her phone. Still nothing from Jurid. Why hadn’t he contacted her? He’d asked her to think about being with him, about setting a date. Then nothing for two whole weeks! What was he waiting for? Did he want her to beg? Well, she wasn’t going to beg! Princess Tamara didn’t beg! Ever!
Okay, so there were several times, in bed, that she’d begged. Tamara felt her cheeks heat up at the memory of those moments and she glanced up, praying that her friends didn’t notice.
Sighing, she closed her eyes as pain slashed through her chest. Goodness, she missed him! One week! She’d been with him for one, lousy week!
No, it hadn’t been a lousy week. It had been a glorious week. A week in which she understood what it could be like between them. Conversations, laughter, passion all mixed in with everyday life. That’s what she wanted. And yes, she wanted it with Jurid so badly, she wasn’t sure how to function without him lately. Mike was grumbling because she was missing things at work…so things were crazy and Jurid wasn’t here.
Tamara hated being in a funk. She’d seen others in funks and had thought it was pathetic. She’d always wondered why those people hadn’t just moved on with their lives.
Now she knew.
Maybe she should just call him. But if she called him, what would she say? She’d spent so much time over the past several years telling herself and the world that she wouldn’t marry Jurid, and now she was just supposed to change her mind? She’d look like a fool!
But she’d be a fool with Jurid instead of a fool without him.
She’d call him, she told herself. Tomorrow. Or maybe tonight. Maybe…
Darn it! She needed to help Willow work through the issues she was dealing with now that she’d discovered a relative she hadn’t known existed. And Lana! Lana was literally glowing with happiness after coming back from her honeymoon.
Unfortunately, Willow’s natural exuberance for life in general and her excitement over trying to discover more about her heretofore unknown, deceased grandmother…plus Lana’s beaming happiness, was really bringing Tamara down. What kind of a friend was she? Not a good one, she thought with a deep sigh.
But seriously, shouldn’t Willow be angry that she hadn’t known this grandmother person? And Lana…? Shouldn’t she be sick of being around her husband? Rubbing her forehead, she tried to make sense out of a world that had become too confusing.
“We have a meeting,” Mike announced. “You ready?”
Tamara blinked, trying to catch up. “A meeting?”
He stared at her. “The meeting with the realtor? About the condo down on the waterfront? Remember?”
“Right!” she gasped and stood up, grabbing her big bag. She had no idea what he was talking about, but she didn’t want Mike to realize it.
“You guys take care,” Willow called as they walked down the sidewalk.
Tamara waved back, tried to smile, but the effort failed miserably.
She and Mike walked towards their office, but Tamara was in her own world, so she didn’t realize what was going on until Mike stopped and she suddenly realized that she was alone. When she did, she stopped and looked back, staring at him as if he’d just lost his mind.
“What’s wrong? I thought we had a meeting with the realtor.”
Mike sighed, shaking his head. “Tam, that was last week. And you weren’t mentally there for that meeting either.”
She blinked, trying to think back to last week. But it was difficult because the days seemed to blur into one grey mass of confusing loneliness.
“Um…well…did we…?”
“Tam, call him!” he urged, throwing his hands up in the air. “You’re obviously miserable without him. Just call him and talk to him. Work this out!”
She blinked back the tears, so tired of crying. Tamara could get through the days, but it was the nights that were a problem.
“I’m in love with him,” she whispered, her voice cracking because it hurt so much to admit that out loud.
“I know, honey,” he said softly, guiding her out of the way as others hurried along the sidewalk. “You’ve been in love with him from the moment he arrived, Tam. Just call him! Stop moping around.”
She stared up at the sky, trying to stop the new bout of tears. “I’m in love with him, Mike. But he said we don’t need love in our marriage. Just respect. He said that would be enough. So here I am, in love with the man and he,” she stopped, pausing to blink back tears again, “…he will respect me.” The words almost choked her.
Mike looked at her sadly and she shook her head, stepping back. “No!” she groaned. “Do not pity me! I don’t want your pity.”
“I’m not pitying, you, honey. I’ve been there. I know that loving someone when they don’t love you back is painful.”
She took a deep breath, regaining control of her feelings. “Yes, well, that’s why I haven’t called him. I told myself that, if he had any feelings for me other than ‘respect’, then he’d call, just to start a conversation. But he hasn’t called.”