* * *
Your kindred spirit in preparedness,
Bellamy
Dear Bellamy,
* * *
Lest you think I’m a stalker—I assure you I am not, and I value privacy above nearly all else. I only know what I found in your bio and what you shared on your show. The rest I surmised from our interactions.
* * *
Thank you for the address. I’m counting down the hours.
* * *
Your opponent in the great chocolate wars,
Easton
* * *
P.S. I prefer milk chocolate. Thanks for asking.
Dear Milk Chocolate Lover,
* * *
Somehow I doubt you’re ticking off the time.
I do appreciate what you just said, though, about privacy. So, thank you for that.
* * *
Also, it’s funny how you think you’re some kind of expert at reading me. That amuses me—your presumption.
* * *
Yours in amusement,
Bellamy
* * *
P.S. Shame on me for not inquiring as to your favorite type of sweet treat. But now I know what to get you for Valentine’s Day. A big, heart-shaped box of milk chocolate.
Dear Bellamy,
* * *
Am I an expert at reading you, though? God, no. As if any man could ever attempt to be an expert at understanding a woman fully. I simply do my best, and I try to learn your cues. Fortunately, you’ve given me many. Our interactions have been quite illuminating.
* * *
Yours in literacy,
Easton
Dear Easton,
* * *
Fine. I’ll bite. What have they illuminated? Besides a love of books and literacy, as you noted?
* * *
Though, fair’s fair. I’ve gleaned things about you too. Such as, you hate being surprised. You like battle plans. And you want everyone to like you.
* * *
Am I getting warmer?
* * *
Yours in you wish you read me like an open book,
Bellamy
Dear Bellamy,
* * *
Warm is not the adjective I’d ever use to describe you.
As for whether I want people to like me, I’ll just say this: Mark my words. I’ll win you over.
* * *
Yours in determination,
Easton
Dear Easton,
* * *
See above. That’s why you find me interesting. You love the chase.
* * *
Yours in you want what you can’t have,
Bellamy
Dear Bellamy,
* * *
So, you are saying you still can’t stand me.
Challenge accepted.
* * *
Easton
Dear Easton,
* * *
Did I say I didn’t like you?
* * *
Bellamy
Dear Bellamy,
* * *
No. I was able to figure that out loud and clear. Perhaps next time there’s a costume contest we’ll have to go as great archenemies throughout history.
* * *
My vote is for Batman and the Joker.
* * *
Easton
Dear Easton,
* * *
If you’d said Darth and Luke, or Harry and Voldemort, I’d have walked away.
* * *
Your archenemy, evidently,
Bellamy
Dear Archenemy,
* * *
As if I’d be that black and white.
* * *
Your favorite enemy ever,
Easton
Dear Easton,
* * *
There’s nothing black and white about you. You’re many shades of gray. And speaking of shades of gray, I call dibs on the Joker.
* * *
Yours in that’s no joke,
Bellamy
Dear Bellamy,
* * *
Amazing that the thought of you in a Joker costume still gets me hot. And that’s a better adjective for you than warm. On that note, I’ll see you in two days.
* * *
Yours,
Batman
Dear Easton,
* * *
Was that your attempt to get the last word?
* * *
Bellamy
Dear Bellamy,
* * *
Yes.
* * *
Easton
15
Sex-Positive Grandma
I’ll meet Bellamy this afternoon, and I’m not marking time till four and a half hours from now, though I am definitely looking forward to seeing the chocolate lover.
But first, family.
I meet Spencer on Central Park West outside a new gym that Coco’s been attending. We wait by the open doors for her to finish.
“Do you think she goes there to meet dudes?” Spencer asks, peering through the window at the over-fifty-five crowd working out in the morning. The fitness center caters to seniors, and when the place opened, Coco took to it like a bear to blackberries.
“This is Coco we’re talking about. She goes to the gym to look good for the dudes she might meet,” I say as our grandmother strides out, fit and trim in yoga pants and a matching zip-up jacket. Today’s eyeglass style? Cheetah print.
“You’re both wrong,” she says. “I go to Zumba because cardio keeps my brain sharp. And the brain is the most important sex organ.” She shakes her head in mock disgust. “I swear I taught you two better.”