“More, Joe,” I begged.
“Fuck, Ryan,” he growled, his head bowing into my neck as he pumped into me.
If everything was out of control before, it turned wilder than I could have imagined. I’d never been so consumed. Everything was about the hot drive of him inside me. My hips rose to meet his hard thrusts, my cries and his groans filling the entire cabin.
I couldn’t touch him, could only take what he had to give, and it was so goddamn exciting, I knew I was going to come quickly. The tension inside me tightened, tightened, tightened every time he pulled out and slammed back in.
“I’m close,” I gasped.
He released one of my hands to grab my thigh and pulled it up against his hip, changing the angle of his thrust. I reached for him blindly as the tension inside of me shattered. I think I even screamed.
My orgasm rolled through me, my inner muscles rippling and squeezing around Joe. His hips pounded faster and then momentarily stilled before he cried out my name, his grip on my thigh bruising as his hips jerked with the swell and throb of his release.
As his climax shuddered through him, he let go of my thigh and slumped over me. Joe’s warm, heavy weight surrounded me, and I slid my hands across his back. He was solid and real.
Our labored breathing rasped in my ears.
My heart pounded.
Finally, reality intruded.
I was sprawled on a bed with Joe between my legs, inside me. He was still wearing his jeans because we’d been so frantic to have each other, he didn’t even undress fully.
It was the best sex I’d ever had.
But we hadn’t used a condom.
Joe had come inside me.
Chapter Six
JOE
“You didn’t use a condom,” Ryan whispered, sounding panicked.
The words cut through my post-sex bliss haze.
Shit.
I raised my head from her neck to stare into Ry’s wide eyes. “You on the Pill?”
“Yeah, but that’s not the point.”
Realizing what she meant, I cursed under my breath. “I’m clean. I have never forgotten to use a condom before. Not since I got a girl pregnant at eighteen.”
She raised an eyebrow like she didn’t know whether to believe me.
“Ry …” I cupped her face in my hand, my fingers brushing the slight swelling around her eye where the fading bruises were. It killed me I hadn’t been there to protect her. “Do you still not get it? When it comes to relationships, I have been in control my whole life. I’ve never been so fucking desperate to have someone that I forgot to put on a condom. Not after I acted like a stupid kid with Renee and knocked her up. Not … until now. I have no control over how I feel about you. If I did, this wouldn’t have happened at all.”
To my shock, hurt saturated her features. “I know that probably sounds romantic to you … but to me, there is nothing romantic about not being someone’s choice.” She tried to push me off her, and I took hold of her wrists to pin her back in place. Ry growled up at me in frustration, and fuck if I didn’t get hard inside her again. That definitely hadn’t happened to me since I was a teenager.
She sucked in a breath, feeling me.
“This is a choice. I made a choice as soon as I followed you into this room. I love my son,” I said, my voice gruff with emotion, “but I can’t bear the idea of you thinking I don’t want you or need you enough to fight for this. Because I do. I have tried not to for nearly two years because I didn’t want to complicate everything for everyone. Dex thinks I’ll just get what I want from you and move on … But he doesn’t know I’m in love with you. It took me years to find you, and I’m a selfish bastard for wanting to keep you, but if you feel even half of what I feel, I’m willing to fight for this.”
I felt her relax beneath me, her features softening with wonder. “You love me?”
“Don’t you love me?” My heart pounded now, waiting for her to crush it—or not.
“I … I …” Tears filled her eyes, and she strained against my hold. “Get off me, Joe. Please, get off me!”
I instantly let go, gently pulling out and rolling off. An ache I’d never felt before gripped tight to my chest as Ryan scrambled from the bed to get away from me. Jesus, was I a foolish asshole thinking a young, vibrant woman like her would want something serious with me, a man sixteen years her senior? Had I read the situation so wrong?
As she hurried to dress, I felt paralyzed.
Until her soft sobs cut through my hurt. “Ry …” I pushed off the bed, but she turned her head toward me as she pulled up her jeans. Tears streamed down her face.
“Don’t,” she choked out. “Please. Don’t. I’m going to get in my car and leave, and we’re not going to speak of this again.”
Fuck me. I looked away because looking at her hurt too much. “We can never talk about this if that’s what you want. But I’m not letting you drive back to Sacramento alone. You’ve barely slept all week, and you haven’t eaten in God knows how long.”
“You think I can stay here? After that?”
I glared at her as I got off the bed. She averted her gaze as I pulled my boxers and jeans up. “Yeah, but don’t worry. I’ll stay out of your way.” I stormed out of the room, shaking. Jesus Christ. I’d been crushed by a fucking twenty-four-year-old woman.
I should never have followed her into that room.
RYAN
It was hunger pangs that forced me out of the bedroom a few hours later. Joe, thankfully, was nowhere in sight. His truck was still here, so I guessed he’d gone for a walk.
Guilt suffused me.
And cowardice.
While I’d felt euphoric at Joe’s confession of love, I’d also felt absolutely terrified by it.
I’d never expected to feel for any man the way I felt about Joe.
But the truth was, he was older than I was… and one day he wouldn’t be here anymore, and I was so scared of that. Wasn’t it easier to walk away now than to fall deeper and deeper in love with him, only to inevitably lose him?
I could kill my sister.
After shoveling down some cereal I found in the pantry, I grabbed my phone out of my purse. It needed to be charged, but there was just enough battery to call Shaw.
She answered on the third ring. “If you’re calling to berate me, please don’t.”
I slumped on the corner sofa near the crackling fire. Joe had obviously gotten it started before he escaped the cabin. My heart ached with renewed guilt. “Why did you do this?”
“Because she’s nuts!” Dex yelled in the background.
It made me smile sadly. “I take it Dex found out.”
“Yeah, and he’s not happy with me, but I told him if my little plan works, he can’t give you or his dad a hard time.”
“Shaw …” Tears filled my voice.
“Oh, Ry, shit … I’m sorry. Did I read it wrong? You don’t love Joe back?”
There was that word again.
“What made you think Joe and I are in love?”
“Because her head is in the clouds!” Dex called out. Shaw obviously had me on speakerphone.