“Wait a fuckin’ minute. Jordan is family to the Emerald Isle MC . . . ” Timber starts to say.
“She’s also our family. We might not have known her for long, but Jordan is our sister,” Gadget growls.
“Alright now, all of you stop it right this minute. If you don’t, I’ll make sure to slap you all upside the head,” Cara yells. “None of this is doing any good. You can all get along. Yes, Jordan is family to the club, Timber, she always will be. But her brothers are also members of the Devil’s Riot MC. And before you ask, I know exactly who you two are. I’ve always known my daughter had brothers, though I didn’t know your names. I knew you’d find each other one day,” she says, glancing between all the men in the room, though she directs her last statement toward Gadget and Dragon.
Taking a breath, Cara looks directly at me. “I don’t know what the story is with you, but I can see the pain in your eyes. You are hurting for my daughter. I can feel it. Now, I give you my blessing to continue being with my daughter, long as you promise to never hurt her. She deserves nothing but happiness.”
“I won’t let anything happen to her,” I say, nodding my head in agreement.
“Good, then let’s end this tension and move on. You all can handle killing things another day,” Cara says just as Timber’s phone goes off. Glancing in his direction, I notice his eyes widen as he stares at the screen.
“We gotta go, Cara. I’m sorry. Call us if you need anything. Faylinn just texted, telling me to get home now.”
“Go, I’m good here. Give Caelan a kiss for me,” Cara says before telling her sister to go with them just in case.
“Call if you need anything,” Jordan’s aunt says as she turns to leave with the rest of the Emerald Isle MC members.
“Now, how about we go see my daughter?” Cara suggests.
What is it about this woman that makes me want to smile? Her daughter is the same way. Maybe all women aren’t that bad.
They don’t all want to hurt their children the way my own did to me.
“Yeah, Cara, let’s go see my fiancée,” I say, giving her a grin.
“Brother, don’t even go there,” Gadget grumbles.
“You still gotta go through us,” Dragon states.
“Brothers, love you like you’re blood, but don’t try that shit with me. You both know me,” I say, looking directly at Gadget. I know for a fact he’s seen the records of what I’ve been through. “I won’t let you stand between Jordan and me. She was mine before I even realized it and she’ll be mine until I take my last breath. Got it?”
Gadget stares into my eyes long and hard before nodding his head. “Yeah, brother, just don’t hurt her,” he rasps.
“Won’t happen,” I say firmly. Turning away, I leave them and Cara behind to go in search of Jordan. I need to set my eyes on her.
Shaking my head, I can’t help but think how the hell did I let this all happen so quickly? I swore I’d never claim a woman. Let alone let one in my heart. But it seems like Jordan has been worming her way in without even trying to.
Chapter Eight
Jordan
Drifting through the darkness, nothing surrounds me but my own thoughts. I want nothing more than to be in the light, but of course even in death, I have to be in the dark.
Why can’t I be at peace?
“You gotta come back to me, Honey. I need you to wake up.” That voice continues to fill my head. I remember him screaming at me, telling me not to leave him. But who is that? It can’t be anyone I know.
Granted, there’s not many people who know me and even then, those around me don’t know the hell I’ve lived in.
“Come on, little sister, it’s time to wake up. I swear, we never meant to hurt you by not speaking to you. We just didn’t know how. You always seemed so scared of us. We didn’t want you to run. Please just wake up. You have nephews and a niece who love you,” Dragon whispers in his raspy voice. I’d know his voice anywhere.
I wish I could wake up and tell him I’m not scared of him or Gadget. But the darkness keeps pulling me deeper.
“Hey, sweetheart. I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you.” My mom’s voice sounds so sad. Why is she here? She’s supposed to be with my aunt, not here where he can get to her.
Oh no. Please . . . please . . . let me wake up. Warn her to leave before he gets her. Don’t let what I did be in vain. I did it for her. I didn’t want him to kill my momma.
“Honey, you gotta wake up. I need you.” There’s that voice again. “You know the two of us have a lot in common, though I’m sure our stories are completely different. I understand all the pain you feel. All the nightmares you’ve probably had. I get it because I have my own demons. Where it was your father you feared, it was my mother who I feared.” His voice becomes bitter on that last part.
Hmm, who is this?
“Wanna know why I call you Honey? Because you’re the first woman I’ve wanted to make my own. And badgers love honey, so I figured it was fitting to call you something that I love. Because babe, I’ve loved you since the first time you bumped into me. I just didn’t know it then.” Oh God, the voice belongs to the man who I’ve wanted this whole time, yet I can’t really have.
He wouldn’t want the real me. The damaged, no good trash that I am. If only he knew.
“I know you can hear me, Honey. I swear, when you finally open them eyes, I will be right here. Keeping the monsters away. They won’t hurt you ever again. I’ll even check all the closets and under the bed for you if need be,” Badger whispers.
Spinning around, I make myself dizzy looking for a way to him. I want to believe him when he says he’ll protect me, but will he really be able to?
“Jordan, I wish you would have told me all this was going on. We could have put a stop to him hurting you a long time ago.” Dean’s voice filters through my head.
“Watch it,” Badger growls.
“Cool your jets.” I hear Dean chuckle, then I feel a hand brush against my face. “You were always a stubborn one growing up. I know you don’t remember coming to our home when you were little, but I do. You were this bright little spirit with strawberry blond curls and green eyes just like our grandmother. I swore then I’d have to protect you, but I failed. Even when I thought I was protecting you by letting you work at the club. I figured when you were ready, you’d come to me.” He sighs.
His words continue to drift through my head, but I slowly fall back into myself. I can’t believe what he’s saying. Dad told me I had no one in my corner. No one would want me. That if I told anyone about the beatings, he’d put a hit on my mom. Or he’d kill her in front of me after letting his buddies rape her.
How was I supposed to know I could voice what was happening to me?
“Brother, come on. You need to get out of this room,” Gadget says, but who is he talking to?
“I’m not leaving her. I’ll leave this room when she does. 'Til then, I ain’t budging,” Badger growls. Why hasn’t he left my room? Memories of his words filter through my head. He knows what it’s like. He understands. How?