"Consider this a happy accident."
"I mean," he started, rocking against me, "I don't have condoms with me because I didn't come here with the intention of having sex."
I blinked water out of my eyes. "Neither did I."
He dropped his forehead to my shoulder and gave a groan that echoed around us. "I'm both very happy to hear that and a little devastated."
I brushed a hand down his back, curled my fingers around his shaft. Gave him a firm stroke that had him groaning again. "I have an IUD."
I felt his teeth on my neck, my shoulder, the hinge of my jaw. "And you're comfortable with—"
"Has there been anyone else? Since the start?"
He sucked in a breath as he thrust into my hand. "I went in fully expecting your pussy to bite my dick off. It's just you, honey."
I hooked my knee around his hip, leaned back against the cool tile. "Then I'm comfortable."
"You don't have to be." He took hold of my knee, notched it higher. Dragged his fingers up my inner thigh, over my folds. "Don't say yes because you think it's what I want to hear."
I grabbed for the back of his neck, my fingers sliding through his hair and forcing his mouth to mine. "I can't figure out why," I mumbled between kisses and bites, "but I don't know how to do anything just because I think it's what you want. Ever. It's like I don't even know how to people-please around you. It's freaking me out."
"That's right," he growled, spearing his fingers inside me. "Give me more of that. Give me that strong badass who takes no shit from anyone and then comes for me like such a good girl."
"Don't say that. You know it does crazy things to me." I tipped my head back against the tile and stared at the water pouring out from the heads stationed along the ceiling. "Really crazy things."
"That's why I say it." He swiped his tongue over a nipple, but quickly pulled back. "Sara. You're bleeding. Is that okay?"
"What? Oh, shit." I twisted out of his grip, scrambled to the other side of the shower. Of all the times for my cycle to remind me it was irregular as hell. "Sorry. I thought my period ended yesterday. Now this is freaking me out."
He shoved both hands through his hair while his erection jutted out, proud and ruddy. "Are you okay?"
I glanced around for soap or a washcloth—anything to occupy my hands. "Yeah. I didn't mean for you—well, it's fine. I'm fine."
"Do you want to stop?"
Even though I'd never done this before, I shook my head. "Not really."
"Then why the fuck are you all the way over there?" he asked, crossing the kitchen-sized shower in two strides. "What kind of child do you think I am? If you're okay, I'm okay. For fuck's sake, we are in a shower, Sara. And after we're done here, I'll put a towel down if you're worried about the sheets."
I reached out, flattened my hand over his heart. "I'm okay."
"That's a real fucking relief since I'm about a minute away from painting the wall because you're here and wet and naked, and all of those things are my favorite things. Can you end the freak-outs and let me fuck you? Please?"
A hysterical laugh burst from my lips and I shifted that hand down his torso, over that gorgeous line of dark fuzz, to grip his cock. "Come here."
"Thank you," he groaned, backing me up against another chilly wall of tile.
Water poured over one shoulder, slicking us up as we moved together to find the right fit. He reached for my knee again, brushed a thumb over my clit, ground his shaft between my legs. He murmured in my ear about my skin, my body, how much he wanted me, how hard he was for me, but the exact words always got trapped in a box that seemed to hold them a minute before sharing them with me. As if a delay was required to keep me from spontaneously combusting.
He pushed inside me with a slow rock and that was all it took to remind me why we did this. Why we couldn't stop. Why getting it out of our systems was a funny little lie we told ourselves to make it seem like we weren't flat-out addicted.
We fit together in a way that made me question everything in the world. Every choice I'd ever made. If it didn't lead to this man and my ankles over his shoulders, what was I even doing with my life? Nothing, that was the simple answer. Anything that existed outside us didn't matter. Jobs, families, counseling sessions. None of it mattered. This mattered—it was special and rare and terrifying.
"Talk to me," he said, his arm hooked under my knee as he pounded me into the wall. "I know what you're thinking, but I need to hear it."
I slipped a hand up his neck, into his hair. "What am I thinking?"
"You're thinking that it can't be this good, but it is and it only gets better," he panted. "And that's insane."
"It's insane." I pressed the pad of my thumb to his lips. He sucked at me, bit down. That bite sent a strange, glorious throb to my clit. "What are you doing to me?"
"I think you're doing it to me," he said. "Now, be a good girl and come on this cock. I'm going to pinch your clit until you do."
"I'm not ready," I whined, my fingers twisting and pulling at his hair.
"Yes, you are," he yelled. "Stop fighting. Let me give you what you want."
He was so thick and made me feel so full, so overwhelmed with sensation. All I could do was tug his hair and watch while he stared down at me, his gaze filled with certainty and his jaw tight. I couldn't even move. I was pinned to this wall, spread as wide open as I could be, and clinging to the edge with every last toe and fingernail because I wasn't ready to fall over.
"I can't," I insisted.
"Do you feel that? Do you feel your clit throbbing? I do. Maybe I should make you pinch it. Then you'll see how ready you are."
"I'm not."
"You know you've earned it. You know you deserve it. Stop fighting, sweetheart. Give it to me."
I didn't want to fall over that edge. I really didn't. But those words worked on me too well. They hit right where I needed them.
"That's a good girl," he drawled, an arm drawn tight around me as I shook and cried. "That's my good girl. There you are." He released his hold on my clit and that sudden rush of blood set off another wave inside me, one that hurt in a confusingly nice way. "Is that how you're playing tonight? You're giving me the demon pussy magic right now?"
"I'm not doing anything to you," I said, my words as loose and shuddering as the spasms between my legs.
He touched his forehead to mine, moaned out a breath. His hips punched up and his eyelids drifted shut, and he pressed a roar into my shoulder. He jerked against me, his fingers flexing and digging into my skin as the orgasm moved through him. "You sucked the soul out of me, sweetheart. I hope you put it to good use."
"I will." The smile that stretched across my face wouldn't quit. It was the brightest, most thoroughly pleased I'd felt in forever. I did this. I gave him that pleasure, that joy. It came from me and the things we found when we came together, and I could probably do it again. There was something pure and perfect about getting out of my mind and using my body to tear someone to shreds.