CHAPTER 24
Parker
I have to force myself to walk slowly up the stairs. Once I reach the landing, I sprint into his room and rush to the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth and strip out of my clothes to freshen up. Swiftly, I turn off the bathroom light and rush to the bed, diving under the covers. My heart is racing, and my palms are sweating. I’ve never been this bold with a man, and it’s fitting that it’s Holden, the one person I was fearful of shattering my heart. He’s not the man I assumed him to be. He’s so much more. He’s good to me, and I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. This isn’t a game to him. This player is hanging up his hat for me.
I want to show him that I’m in this. He says I’m not ready to hear how he feels about me, and maybe he’s right. Because I know I’m falling in love with him, but I’m too damn scared to say the words. Instead, I’ll show him what he means to me with our bodies, and hopefully, one day soon, I’ll get the courage to come out and tell him that my heart, my body, and my soul are all his.
I hear him enter the room and close the door behind him. The sound of his belt unbuckling has me clenching my thighs together. I’m debating on letting him change into pajamas or just tell him now what I have planned.
“Hey, Holden?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we maybe not do the pajamas thing?” I ask quietly.
I can hear him moving, and then the bed dips next to me. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
“I just” I start but then stop. What do I tell him? That I can’t think about anything other than being pressed skin to skin. That I think about his lips tracing every inch of me? That I’ve fantasized about his making love to me?
He leans in close and rests his palm against my cheek. “Don’t ever hide from me, Parker. My career is going to make this difficult enough as it is. I want you to always be open and honest with me. Tell me what you want, baby.”
“You,” I blurt. “I want you.”
“You have me. All of me.”
He’s not getting it. With a deep breath, I slide my hand out from under the blanket and reach for his hand that’s resting on my cheek. Moving his hand under the covers, I place it on my chest.
He sucks in a breath. “Jesus,” he whispers. He runs the pad of his thumb over my hardened nipple.
“I want you,” I repeat.
“You sure about this? Parker, I don’t know” He swallows hard. “I know I don’t have the willpower to sleep naked next to you. I just… I don’t have it in me. I want you with a ferocity I’ve never known before.”
“I’m not asking you to sleep next to me. Well, I am but I want something from you first.”
“Tell me.” His words are breathless as his thumb continues to stroke my nipple, stoking the flames of desire inside me.
“I want you to make love to me.” I’m aware that I used the word love. His eyes widen, and that tells me he is as well. We might not have said the words yet, but it feels like we’re heading in the same direction. I can feel it like a balm to my soul that we’re both falling into this with our eyes wide open.
“You sure about this? We can wait.”
“I don’t want to wait.”
He nods once, pulls his hand from beneath the covers, and stands. My eyes trail his every move as I watch him remove his jeans and sweater. He’s standing before me in socks and underwear. My eyes are eager as I follow his motions, watching him slowly remove one sock and then the other. Next, his fingers slide into the waistband of his boxer briefs, and I lick my lips, more than ready to unwrap this final gift, but he halts his movements.
“What’s wrong?” My voice sounds a little panicked, worried he’s going to back out. I’m already dripping wet for him, and he’s barely touched me. If he backs out now, he’ll give me the woman’s equivalent to blue balls.
Please don’t let him back out.
“Condom,” he croaks. “I don’t have a fucking condom.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that we don’t need them. I’ve been on the pill for years, but as much as I want this to work between us, it’s still new, and well, I think we need them for now. “My purse.”
“What?” he asks.
“I have a new box. Autumn insisted I buy them when we were out yesterday. I told her I wouldn’t need them, but I bought them anyway. They’re in my purse.”
“Where’s your purse?”
“Kitchen.”
He bends over and kisses me hard. “Don’t move.” With that, he’s gone.
I hear his feet pound down the stairs, and the noise matches that of the rhythm of my heart thumping in my chest. Sliding my arms back under the covers, I focus on my breathing, willing myself to calm down. I’ve barely started the process when I hear Holden’s footfalls on the steps once again. The click of the bedroom door closing sounds throughout the quiet of the room. Holden makes his way to his side of the bed, and I hear him tearing open the box, and I watch from the moonlight spilling into the room as he pulls a foil packet from the strip and tosses it on the bed before placing the box on the nightstand.
His fingers once again slip under the waistband of his boxer briefs, and he pulls them to his ankles, kicking them across the room. The cover is lifted, and he slides in beside me. I don’t wait for him to reach for me. Instead, I move and meet him in the middle. I’m lying on my back, and Holden is hovering over me.
“You sure?” he asks again.
“Are you going to make me beg, Bailey?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood a little.
“As enticing as that sounds, it’s not necessary. I’ll forever give you everything you want.” He leans down and captures a nipple into his mouth. “Everything you need.” His hot breath brushes over my breasts, making me shiver.
Burying my hands in his hair, I close my eyes and just feel. I savor every swipe of his tongue and every press of his lips. His hands are everywhere, and the actions combined have my body burning with desire for him.
He kisses his way down my belly, his head now fully under the covers. My hands are still buried in his hair, and I arch off the bed with the first swipe of his tongue against my clit. He moves my legs over his shoulders and begins to torture me with his tongue. It’s exquisite and, dare I say, life-changing the talent the man has with his tongue.
I try not to think about the practice he’s had or my lack of experience where this particular act is concerned. There have only been two other guys to go down on me, and from what I’m experiencing right this moment, they didn’t know what the hell they were doing.
Pulling back the covers, I lift my head to watch.
“You good, sweet pea?” he asks.
“So good,” I say, burying my hands back into his locks. He winks and gets back to work. I watch him, and the sound he’s making—as if this is the best thing to ever happen to him—only heightens my desire. When he slides one long thick digit inside me, a moan unlike anything I’ve ever heard before tumbles from my lips.
He adds yet another finger, his mouth never stopping the delicious rhythm against my clit. All that I can do is hold on. My head drops back to the pillow, and my legs hug him tighter as I feel the fire of my pending orgasm race through my veins. With each stroke of his tongue and with each thrust of his fingers, I grow closer and closer to the edge. Heat from my core spreads throughout my body.