Charlie analyzes me for a very long, hard few minutes of silence. Not much makes my skin itch, but this woman has a way. Finally, she bobs her head, purses her lips off to the side and then glares. “Alright. This conversation will remain between us as long as you keep up your end of the bargain. If I catch on that you’re playing favorites, I will speak with your supervisor and alert the residency committee.”
“Absolutely. My fourth years are not complaining at all with the demanding workload I’m giving them. Most are running things on their own, with very little oversight on my part. My other primary third-year resident broke her wrist yesterday and as of this morning, all of my first and second-year residents will now report to Dr. Hammond.”
Charlie gives me a satisfied stare and I turn around to leave, knowing Grace is waiting for me just outside the door. Knowing she’s a little pissed at me. A point she proves when we get into the hall and she grabs hold of my scrub top, dragging me along the hall until we reach an empty patient room.
She shuts the door and paces across to the far window before turning back and storming toward me, getting right up in my face. I wrap my arms around her waist, hauling her against my chest as I lean against the closed door. This, this right here. Having her in my arms willingly, even when she’s pissed, is the best feeling in the world.
I’d fight dragons barehanded for this shot with her.
“What are you doing?” she challenges, her palms pressing into my chest though she’s not trying to escape me. “You had no right to barge in on my private meeting with my adviser. What did she say to you after I left?”
“That I better not show favorites and I better keep up my end of the bargain.”
Not even close to a lie.
“Carter, you’re playing with fire. We don’t even know how long this thing between us will—”
I cut her off with a kiss because I know what she’s about to say and I don’t want to hear it. She might not be ready for us to go prime time, but I am. And it’s like I told Charlie, I won’t risk her career. Or mine, for that matter, but I’m more worried about her. She’s a resident. It’s her reputation on the line if this thing isn’t done on the up and up from the start.
And this is the start.
I can be patient and I can prove to her I’m a man worthy of her, but that doesn’t come without taking risks and that’s precisely what I did this morning with Charlie. Even if Grace doesn’t know I told Charlie yet.
“I want to take you to a concert next week,” I hum against her lips, taking a play from Dylan because I think the kid was on to something.
She shakes her head, confused at my total change of topic. “A concert?”
“Wild Minds is playing at Gillette. I got us tickets. Floor seats.” I didn’t, but I will have by the end of the day so it’s as good as done. Kaplan quasi knows Jasper Diamond because Wild Minds played a charity event that Kaplan headed through the Abbot Foundation for children on the autism spectrum, so I wonder if I can even arrange a meet and greet.
I know Grace loves him.
“You got us tickets to Wild Minds? When? It’s been sold out for months.”
I shrug. I don’t care if it’s sold out—I’ll get them.
“It’s too much, Carter. You’ve already gotten me so much.”
“No. It’s not too much.” I run my fingers through her hair, stare into her pretty eyes. “I want to take you.”
“How did you know I like Wild Minds?”
A grin splices my lips as I nibble on her bottom one. “Other than you mentioning them the night we went out to the club-restaurant thing? You’re always rocking out to music during your in-between time. I hear it when you sing along, Grace. I listen.”
“You mean you watch me.”
My nose brushes against hers, my tongue swiping out, licking her lips. “I watch you. I’ve watched you for a year.”
“Because you’re my attending?”
“Not because I’m your attending.”
I study her reaction, hoping she’ll ask the next inevitable question. Knowing it’s too soon to tell her I’m hopelessly in love with her. Only she doesn’t get the chance to say anything. My pager goes off, alerting us that our patient is in pre-op and waiting for us.
It’s just as well.
She’s not ready to face the truth yet. Even if I am. But it’s only a matter of time until I convince her.
23
My body sags with exhaustion as I lean against the glass of the nursery, staring at all the adorable new life. I delivered two of those babies today. Well, I guess it was technically last night into today but today never ended with me going home because I still had a full shift to do. I’m picking up the slack for Janet since she’s not only recovering from a broken wrist but has decided that I should be her resident—pun intended—Sherpa of work since she can’t do anything.
That means I had to take her twenty-four-hour shift in addition to my regular shift and take on all of her patients since she was Carter’s only other third-year resident beside me. That and Dr. Westerfield has randomly been asking me to follow along on some of her cases.
This week has been nothing short of sheer hell and a total nightmarish heaven.
I should have known it would be like this. We’re talking about Carter Fritz. Billionaire bachelor and playboy. Brilliant doctor. The sexy seductor who has spent the last week making me feel like we’re so much more than a fling.
Like we’re… dating.
Not just fooling around and enjoying a physical connection and nothing more.
It’s freaking me the fuck out, and that’s on top of everything else going on.
I know I sound like a broken record, but this is Carter Fritz. And yet, he’s not. He’s like a totally different man with me. My head is an absolute disaster with it. My heart on a damn roller coaster, up and down and side to side and all over the place. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what or how to think.
I’ve had no breather between Tony and this.
A recipe for disaster if ever there was one.
It has me questioning what’s real and what’s not. And that’s just myself I’m talking about there. I can’t even contemplate Carter’s angle in all of this. That’s just too terrifying to even begin and who has the time for it anyway. Certainly not me.
We’re going on hour thirty of being awake—it’s a wonder I’m still upright and conscious.
In the hospital, he’s my teacher. My attending. I absorb his skill and talent like the needy doctor sponge I am. We’ve had no further incidents—no more scut or punishments. I have freedom with my cases. I’ve been teaching the younger residents in our outpatient office, in the delivery room, and even in the OR.
I come home exhausted. Together, most nights, he’s there with me, staying later when I have to or having dinner ready and waiting for me on the nights he doesn’t. We eat and watch TV. Read books or journals and talk.
Not just talk. Open up to each other. He tells me things I’d bet his inheritance he’s never told anyone, not even his brothers. Like how even though he always knew he wanted to be an OB-GYN, he also wanted to play professional baseball and even had an offer from an AAA team in Oakland.