When I asked why he didn’t pursue it, his response was, “That’s not the Fritz way.”
How awful and yet how beautiful.
I don’t think he regrets his decision to go into medicine, but it also makes me want to push him to join a league or something.
At night I’m in his bed. And it’s not always sex. Some nights it’s just sleeping together. I mean, hell, we’re OB-GYNs. We work long, grueling hours and most days don’t get off when we’re scheduled to and that’s without me picking up the slack.
But being with Carter in this way, it’s… it’s…
“Here,” he says, coming up from behind me like the ghost of men I can’t stop thinking about. Damn, I need sleep. I’m not even making sense anymore. “Eat this.”
I open my eyes, not even realizing I had shut them, and straighten up. I stare down at the protein bar he’s holding at me. “What is that?”
“Food. When was the last time you ate?”
That’s a seriously good question. I have to think for a minute. And another minute. And when I can’t remember, I grab the proffered protein bar and open it. “I hate this kind.”
“I know,” he replies with a smirk, running his hand over my cheek and managing to catch a few strands that fell from my bun, tucking them behind my ear. “That’s all that was left in the vending machine though. I’ll buy a box of the chocolate and egg-white ones you like and store them in my office.”
I stare at him, my eyebrows likely creased and giving me premature wrinkles as I take a bite. It’s like eating shoe leather. No chocolate on this one, which is a total crime when it comes to protein bars, if you ask me.
“Are you this nice to your other residents, or is it just because I put out for you?”
He raises an unamused eyebrow. “Go home. You need sleep. Especially if we’re going to the concert tomorrow night.”
Right. The concert. That’s another thing.
“I can’t go home. I have patients. A surgery later with Dr. Westerfield.”
“Let someone else take them. You need sleep. Let me see your phone.”
“My phone? For what?” I know what he wants and he’s not getting it. I’ve already turned off the notifications from my ring because it was annoying, so I have no idea what my body is up to. I just know it’s likely not so great given what the last thirty hours has brought.
“Pull up the app for your ring. I want to see your numbers for oxygen, heart rate, and sleep.”
“And what if I don’t? Are you going to make me?”
He rolls his eyes at my childish antics, but I can’t bend. If I bend and he sees I’m not taking the best care of myself that I should be, he’ll go all alpha attending on me, and I can’t let that happen. I’m a doctor. A resident. I constantly have to be on my A-game and the moment I show weakness, my career suffers for it.
Sound dramatic?
Yeah, it’s also true.
“Sign out at three during nursing change of shift and go home. That’s a fucking order.”
I stick my tongue out at him and blow a raspberry.
I’d flip him off too, but there are babies present.
“I see you two haven’t improved your working relationship,” Oliver drawls, walking through the swinging doors and heading our way. Ah, my best friend. I forgot he works in the hospital as a family medicine attending—bastard just finished his residency and is now living the sweet life—on Fridays.
I might have also been avoiding him.
“My attending is a dick,” I tell Oliver, only to have Carter growl beside me.
“So you like to say. Wanna go grab some lunch and tell me about it?”
Lunch? It’s lunchtime?
I stare balefully down at my horrid protein bar.
“I have a patient at seven centimeters.”
The thought makes me want to cry. Seven centimeters. It might as well be two for how long this could take.
“They can page you, can’t they?”
“They can.” But that means I have to leave the comfort of this window. Have to walk somewhere to eat. So much work.
“What about you, Dr. Evil?” Oliver asks Carter. “I’ve secured Rina from the ICU. Want to join your youngest siblings for a meal?”
“Grace, go catch a nap,” Carter snaps, ignoring Oliver. “I’ll have the nurses page you when your patient hits nine. And yes, Oliver, I’d love to go to lunch with you and Rina.”
“I hate you,” I seethe.
“Yeah, I’m kinda thinking Carter is right on this whole nap thing though. You look exhausted, babe. Go rest. I’ll bring you back a warm cookie from the cafeteria. The ones you like.”
Love glimmers through my body as I stare at my best friend. “You’d do that?”
“I’ll even make sure they’re the ones with Reese’s Pieces on the top.”
I could cry. Actually, I think I am. Shit.
“Wow, okay, yeah. Go sleep. You’re a fucking mess.”
I sniffle, wiping at my stupid nose and eyes. “They’re happy tears.”
Carter takes my forearm, giving me a good tug and lurching me away from the comfort of the glass. “Save me a seat. I’ll meet you down there. I have to make sure my resident does what she’s told.”
“I love you, Oliver,” I call out to him, only to hear him chuckle as I’m unceremoniously herded like cattle down the hall. “Hey, ease up there, Hulk.”
Carter doesn’t speak, he just finds the nearest on-call room, ensures it’s empty and then transports me inside like I’m an unruly child. “On the bed, Grace.”
“Kinky, but you know there’s no lock on that door.”
He growls at me, forcing me down onto one of the cots. Carter kneels before me, removing my clogs one at a time and setting them against the wall. He pulls back the itchy white blanket and presses my shoulders back until I’m supine, his body now sitting beside me.
“I would have brought you cookies.” His hand runs across my face, his pinched up in annoyance. “I saw you and I went and grabbed the first thing I could find that wasn’t total garbage, but I should have gone to the cafeteria and gotten you something better. A sandwich or something.”
“It’s not your job to make sure I’m eating,” I tell him. In truth, I should have done a better job of it today. I knew this was going to be the never-ending shift from hell and I didn’t plan accordingly.
“It is though. I like taking care of you. I hate that Oliver does what I should be.”
My eyes glitter with more tears that I will never allow to fall. I have no words for that. All I know is a girl could fall in love with it. If she were stupid enough to allow herself to think along those lines.
I run my hand up through his hair, catching the back of his head. I pull him down to me and kiss him. Because I have to kiss him. “Carter. I—”
His nose brushes mine so tenderly my heart skips a beat. “Just get some rest, okay? You need sleep, sweetheart. You’re pushing yourself too hard.” With that, he kisses my forehead. The tip of my nose. My lips. And then he’s gone, shutting the door behind him with a soft click that feels more like a thud.