BLAIRE
I stood beside the police car while two detectives peppered me with questions. Behind them, I could see where my grandfather still lay. The moment they had dragged me away from him, he had become part of a crime scene.
I stared silently at the black tarp that covered him. I could see one of his shoes poking out from beneath the heavy plastic. I felt like someone had injected me with a numbing agent. Nothing hurt. Everything seemed flat and white. I had no reaction. And although I knew it was odd, there was a certain relief to feeling nothing. I felt untouchable in this place. Intellectually, I could process what was happening, but emotionally I had completely shut down. I knew that at some point I would fall apart when I started to feel again, but for now, that white blankness was a cocoon that protected me.
One of the detectives stepped closer and talked to me in a quiet voice. I stared at him, taking in his stained tie and rumpled shirt. He looked tired. I forced myself to focus on his words.
“Listen, we know what kind of men Andrusha and Viktor are. These guys are very well known to the police force—and not in a good way.”
I stared at him, wondering what I had missed. “Excuse me? What are you saying?”
“Whatever is going on, I can assure you that we can keep you safe, but you need to come clean with us. If they are responsible for what has happened to your grandfather, I advise you not to try to cover up their sins. It’s really not going to go well for you.”
I scanned the yard. There were teams of people collecting evidence, taking photos and scouring the yard. A series of ambulances had taken away my grandfather’s unconscious kidnappers. Andrusha stood a few feet away with his back to us, but no matter where I looked, I couldn’t see Viktor.
He had disappeared.
“I already told you—I’m not speaking about tonight until my lawyers are present.”
He frowned. “You got something to hide?”
“No.”
“Sounds like you know something.”
“I hate to repeat myself, but I need to tell my grandmother what has happened to her husband. She can’t hear this from anyone else.”
“We’d first like to take you down to the station and ask you some more questions.”
Andrusha approached from the side. He spoke one word. “Later.”
The detective frowned at me. “Don’t you want to help us find who killed your grandfather?”
It bolstered my confidence to know that Andrusha stood next to me. “I’m going home now.”
Annoyed, he sounded sour. “I’ll have someone drive you home.”
“I’d prefer to have someone from Viktor’s team drive me.”
Andrusha spoke. “I’ll take you.”
The detective’s distaste deepened, but he didn’t say anything as I followed Andrusha to the van.
When I got into the van beside him, he looked over at me. “How are you holding up?”
It didn’t feel right to leave my grandfather lying on the ground with strangers taking pictures of him. I had scanned the chaos around us multiple times, but I still couldn’t find Viktor. I could feel myself slowly unraveling, and I was looking for my anchor. “Where is he?”
Andrusha cleared his throat. “He had to take care of some things.”
I turned and looked at him in disbelief. “He left?”
He started the van. “He asked me to make sure you got home safe.”
The fact that Viktor had abandoned me after the most traumatic moment of my life was just one more thing I couldn’t process. I couldn’t believe these were his actions, but I couldn’t seem to rouse any emotions about it. The emotions would come later—but right now, I wanted to stay in my white cocoon.
We drove in silence almost the entire way back to my grandparents’ home.
The words blurted out of me. “I have to tell my grandmother that her husband has died.”
I could sense Andrusha looking at me. “She’ll appreciate hearing it from you and not a stranger.”
“I know.” I couldn’t seem to stop the words from coming out. “I just don’t know how to tell her.”
“Speak in short sentences. Stick to the facts. Give her lots of time to process what you are telling her. Be ready for her to react. Keep it simple.”
That was very good advice. I wondered if I would remember it. “Thank you.” We drove in silence for a while, and the questions started bubbling out of me. “What did Viktor have to take care of?”
“I’m not sure.”
Still, I couldn’t seem to grasp the task that loomed. I didn’t even want to think about it, so I turned my focus on Andrusha. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
I thought about how the police had pointed their weapons at Viktor and his team and then put them in handcuffs. Now the police were implying that Viktor and Andrusha were responsible for this. “How does all of this impact you and Viktor with the police?”
“We don’t have a history of trust with the authorities. They might try to cause trouble, but they don’t have the evidence to pin this on us.”
They might try to cause trouble. I was well aware that Viktor and Andrusha had been as much victims in this situation as my grandfather and I. It was grossly unfair to think that they would now be blamed for the mess we were in. “How can I help?”
He was emphatic. “You don’t help. Just focus on your family.”
It felt good to think about a problem that I could solve. It felt like relief amidst the horror I was avoiding. “The detectives will be coming around to ask more questions. Can I tell them that I hired you?”
We made eye contact, and I could see the intelligence in his eyes. He was assessing my state of mind. “Not necessary.”
It was stupid, but I couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let Viktor go. “What would your company normally charge to do a job like this? To find and attempt to extract a hostage victim?”
“A lot. Look, we’re not taking your money, so don’t even go there.”
“If we had evidence that proved I had hired your company to retrieve my grandfather, would the police leave you and Viktor alone?”
“Probably, but that isn’t—”
I cut him off. “Then bill me a tax-official invoice for services rendered. I will tell the police that I hired you and, if it’s okay with you, I’ll keep your kidnapping and the fact that I was in Asia off official records.”
“I don’t need you to do that.”
I turned to him. “Well, that’s too bad, because Viktor risked his life multiple times in the last week to save your life and mine, and yet you refuse my help, which would certainly make his life easier. I want to be there for him. You should want to be there for him too.”
His lips compressed. “I can see why Viktor called you the boss.”
I turned to look out the window. “I’m indebted to him. And I couldn’t live with myself if I thought he was being harassed—not after what he did for me.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you.”
“He feels responsible, you know.”
My head whipped back toward him. “What? Why would he feel responsible?”