"Take a bite at least. It's gonna be awhile before we get to Denny's." I pushed half my bar on Pops, and he took it. I led him over to one of the folding chairs they'd set up next to the table and lowered him into it. "I'll go get your wheelchair."
He grabbed my arm. "Don't bother. Lemme just sit here a minute; then we'll go."
"Okay." It was no use arguing with Pops over the small stuff. Nor him with me, I might add. Stubbornness was definitely in the Bower family genes.
While he rested and ate another bar, I looked around for Mike—subtly, of course. He'd taken off when the fire trucks arrived. I knew one of the groups had been his station by the way he was greeted—his brother Donny had picked Mike up and swung him around like a toddler.
He must be happy to be back with them. He was probably busy giving them an update on what had happened. But I admit, it stung a little. It had happened so fast. One minute, we'd been a bunch of survivors alone at the lake, and Mike had been holding my hand. The next, all kinds of emergency vehicles and personnel drove up and, poof, he was gone. The whole ordeal was over. I was happy about that. Of course I was. I'd never been so grateful to see people in uniform. But.
Was that it for me and Mike? He'd kissed me in the canoe. And held me. I thought… silly me. It seemed like we'd connected in a more meaningful way than just, oh, time to go! Bye now!
It had felt meaningful to me anyway.
Then I remembered the way he'd acted when we first met. What? Why me? With that tone of disdain. My stomach sank.
Right. Mike was new at his job. And he had his brothers and family around. He wouldn't want to acknowledge someone like me. I looked down at myself. My hoodie was dotted with soot and ashes and even had a few small burn holes, but it was still screamingly pink. My tennies were soaked and muddy but still metallic gold. I might have worked my ass off today, and been just as brave as Mike. But I was still the fem guy he'd dissed when we first met.
Anyway, Mike Canali of the Hot Cannolis probably had guys lined up around the block back home. He was gorgeous and butch and confident. That kiss had been momentary insanity, an aberration induced by close proximity and relief at being alive. That was all it was.
Probably?
There were a lot of firefighters milling around. I searched faces, but I didn't spot Mike. Maybe he was inside a fire truck, or maybe he'd already left.
Giving up, I turned back to Pops. "How are you feeling now? Less shaky? You look less like gone-off cottage cheese."
He took a last swig from his water bottle. "Speaking of cottage cheese, I'm ready to go get some pancakes. How about you?"
"Ew, gross!" I laughed. "But, sure. I'm sorry about your apartment, Pops. Maybe it survived."
He shrugged, though his eyes were sad. "It's just stuff, kiddo. I got my passport and wallet, and my photo album. And I got you. That's the good stuff."
He was putting on a brave front, but I knew how much he loved Crest Lake. This wasn't going to be an easy change for him at his age. And how was it even going to work? We had lots to figure out.
"You know I've been wanting you to move to Sacramento. Maybe this is a sign from God," I teased.
Pops snorted. "If it is, I need a word with that so-and-so. What about Mike? Aren't you gonna say goodbye?"
I looked around and shrugged. "He took off. I don't know where he is."
"Well, go over there and look for him! You can't leave without saying thank you. Didn't I teach you any manners?"
I narrowed my eyes at Pops. Since when did he care about manners? He was just being pushy and trying to matchmake. However, logically he did have a point. I should say thank you before we left.
I stared at the firefighters and bit my lip, girding myself to walk over there. I took a few steps, stopped. The thing is, they were all big, burly guys over there by the fire engines, and they reminded me of… of a gang of football players. Or the popular guys at school. Guys like me, we'd learned early on that guys like that were to be avoided at all costs, and certainly not approached in a group. Not that I thought the firemen would hurt me or anything. They were professionals. Still, I hated to ask for Mike in a group like that, and come off as some poor girly sap with a crush. I didn't want to embarrass him in front of his friends. And I didn't want to see Mike acting ashamed of me either. I needed that like I needed a hole in the head.
Nope. Not going there.
I turned back to Pops. "Let's just leave. I'm sure he's busy." I took his arm and helped him to his feet.
"You can run head-first into a fire, but not into firemen? I don't get you." Pops shook his head and leaned on me.
"Hey, I've got my pride."
"Yeah, that and a nickle'll buy you a five-cent gumball."
"Not even gumballs are five cents anymore, Pops."
"Not really the point, Shane."
Despite his scolding, Pops let me lead him across the sand and debris to my car. At the end of the day, Pops always took my side, even if my side was stupid. And I loved him for that.
Mable, intrepid Toyota, sat there looking none the worse for wear. Her white paint was kind of dirty, but then, it usually was. My keys were still in the pocket of my jeans where I'd put them. Weird. We'd gone through all that, but my keys and Mable were right where I'd put them, as if it had all been a bad dream.
I opened the passenger seat and helped Pops turn and sit down.
"Shane! Hey, Shane!"
I closed my eyes for a second, relief flooding me at the sound of his voice. Oh thank you, all the gay saints! Was this the part in the books where the hero comes around to profess his feelings? Like Colin Firth striding across that field?
I schooled my features and turned to give Mike a distantly polite smile. "Oh, hi there."
He strode up to me as if he'd been running. He'd taken off his jacket and mask and just had a grubby T-shirt on and those blue firemen pants and suspenders. He was sweaty and dirty, and he looked amazing. I wanted to burn his image onto my cerebral cortex. Wow.
"Hey! You're leavin'?" He stopped a few feet from me, glanced at Pops and the car, then back at me.
"Yeah. Pops needs rest and I was gonna take him to get a good meal. So."
"Oh, good idea."
He swallowed and stared at me. I stared back. I wanted to step closer to him, hug him, but we weren't in the canoe anymore.
"Thank you," I said. "I can't even…. It's not enough. But thank you for everything."
Mike gave me a faint smile in response, then looked over his shoulder. I followed his gaze and noticed Donny, Mike's brother, watching us as he stood by the fire truck. He was frowning. Mike turned back to me, his jaw set.
Ah. So that was how it was. Mike wasn't out to Donny, which meant he wasn't out to the rest of his family. And, from Donny's face, they wouldn't like it if they knew. The hope that had sparked in my belly went out with a hiss.
Life sucked sometimes.
I forced a smile. "Okay. Well. I suppose I won't see you. But I'll never forget today. Or you. Take care." My heart shuddered at the blow, but I kept smiling. I felt braver in that moment than I'd been going back into the fire zone.
I turned to go.
"Shane, wait."