Oh, God. That soft laugh. That thing he did with his nose against Josh’s skin.
He shivered, instinctively pressing himself closer—
West’s breath hitched, and suddenly Josh was being walked back to the wall. The press of their bodies sent a current through him.
“You’re right, I shouldn’t want to . . . not here. Ever.” He took in the ruins, then Josh. “But you . . .” West dropped to his knees. “I mean, anything to make you feel better, Mr Fairfax . . .”
Twenty delirious minutes later, West led Josh through the house to a pair of rose-painted doors. Josh looked quizzically at him, and West winked. “I think you’ll find time will fly in here, while I’m at work.”
He opened the door, and Josh grabbed his arm. Books. So many shelves of books.
“Oh my God, you don’t need to come back.”
Laughter buckled out of West.
Josh turned to him, all his delight bursting out of his smile. “Am I allowed to touch them?”
“Fairly sure that’s the purpose of a library. Okay, maybe not the ones behind glass.”
Josh nodded, and West backed away.
“Wait.”
West paused.
Josh reached out and straightened his necktie. “Do come back.”
The library was everything Josh could have dreamed and more. He breathed in the dusty air from thousands—tens of thousands—of aged books, trailed his fingers over their spines. Forget eight hours of sleep and Lady Gaga. Forget Cassius being painfully right about him. Research was his element. This was him, through and through.
He closed his eyes and felt laughter soaking into his thigh, felt kisses ghosting over his neck.
He swallowed.
His waist buzzed, and Josh ducked down an aisle and pulled out his phone.
Noah: Having a good time?
* * *
Josh: This library has multiple aisles. Aisles!
* * *
Noah: Josh for: the best time of my life?
* * *
Josh: Definitely.
* * *
Noah: Seen that hot guy yet?
* * *
Josh: West.
* * *
Noah: I thought you were all Misters and Sirs? You’re on a first name basis?
* * *
Josh: Except when we have sex.
* * *
Noah: You’re having sex?!!!
* * *
Noah: Elaborate.
* * *
Josh: I think it’s probably a good thing?
* * *
Noah: Sex can be an amazing thing.
* * *
Josh: I meant being Mr Fairfax when we get to it. On the one hand, it’s a fantasy . . . on the other, a reminder it’s just for the weekend.
* * *
Noah: Do you want it to go past the weekend?
* * *
Josh: We hardly know one another.
* * *
Noah: Not exactly a denial.
* * *
Josh: It would never work.
* * *
Noah: Because . . .?
* * *
Josh: Because it never does.
* * *
Josh: It’s just a fact.
The phone jumped in his hand and Josh held it to his ear.
Noah’s voice came firmly down the line. “Josh.”
“What? It’s true.”
“It’s not.”
“West doesn’t read. Doesn’t study.”
“And you’re . . . what? Afraid that means you’ll bore him?”
Josh paused. He hadn’t had to be specific, and Noah had known. Maybe Noah felt the same way, sometimes.
Josh rasped. “We’d never be compatible.”
“Maybe having differences would make things better? More lasting. You can complete each other. Be stronger as a unit?”
Josh’s stomach rose and fell sharply as he leaned against a bookshelf. Again, the assumption he needed balancing out.
Cassius wasn’t the only mirror it hurt to look at. He nodded and nodded.
“Josh?” Noah said.
Something moved in the neighbouring aisle, and Josh whispered he had to go.
He stuffed the phone in its pocket, blinked back the heat in his eyes, and peered around the bookshelf just in time to see Wally toting a book out of the room.
Ashling, in the cap and apron of a chambermaid, slipped inside and dropped into an armchair. She caught sight of Josh and immediately straightened.
Josh waved at her to be as she was. “You’re holding this whole household together. Take a break.” He took the adjacent seat and eyed her current attire. “Do you get tired, playing so many roles?”
She laughed. “It was fun to start with, but now . . .”
“If you could pick one, what would it be?”
She sighed. “I always thought I wanted to be a Lady, but I’ve tried and while the dresses are fun, it never feels right. I’m better suited to footman. After this retreat, I’ll apply for a permanent position.”
“Sounds good.”
She snorted. “Well, it’s taken me all summer to accept that’s what I actually want.”
Josh looked at her quizzically.
“I wanted to show the bosses I could perfect any role. But I just—”
“Can’t?”
“Don’t really want to.” She laughed. “A footman is more me.”
The library door opened and another chambermaid popped her head in. “Ashling, there you are. I need your help drawing Lord Crombie a bath.”
She retreated and Ashling heaved herself from the chair.
Josh stood and opened the door for her.
“You shouldn’t—thank you.”
“No, thank you.”
She looked at him as she passed through. “What for?”
“West said you took over some of his duties so he could find me.”
Ashling faced him, smiling dreamily. “He asked me the second he opened your letter. Whatever you wrote made him laugh.”
Josh prickled with warmth. “I didn’t write anything.”
She cocked her head as she backed away.
“I drew an emoji with heart eyes.”
Professor Paisley entered the drawing room late, stressed, and out of costume. She caught Josh’s eye, and moved his way. “Are you all right?” he asked, standing. All eyes in the room glanced their way.
“I have to leave. My sister’s gone into labour. I should be back for the ball.” She handed over a sheaf of paper. “You’ll have to take over my lecture. Think you’ll manage?”