He chuckled and it morphed into a sigh. “I don’t know what’s real and what’s not anymore.”
“I wasn’t . . . wishing you were different. I was afraid I wouldn’t be enough. Please . . .”
West faced him, reached out and squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. Let’s . . .” He lay down and stared at the sky, hands behind his head, moonlight casting a silvery glow over his profile. “What do you know about the stars?”
Subject change. Josh’s chest sank but he nodded. “Why do you think I know anything?”
“You know everything.” The softest smile tipped West’s lips and his chest rose again.
“Not about that. But now . . . I want to learn everything so I can tell you.”
West’s chest expanded on a deep breath and a slow sigh trailed toward the stars as his eyes closed.
Josh’s stomach twisted. He was used to confident, energetic, happy West. He wanted to take away the lingering sadness. Wanted West to know . . .
He dropped his hand to West’s waistcoat, whispering, “Can I . . . valet you?”
West shifted his head and held his gaze. Three breaths he stared into Josh’s eyes. “One last time?”
“Yes.”
West swallowed. Nodded.
Chest a seesaw of rise and fall, Josh crawled over West’s thighs, straddling him as he plucked at waistcoat buttons. Their eyes clashed; everything else became a whisper. Velvet and cotton and silk sliding off skin, landing on grass.
Naked, rippled with goosebumps, West sat up and cupped Josh’s cheek. The kiss was a quiet brush of their lips. Fingers worked off Josh’s coat, sliding down his arms. Josh tucked his head against West’s neck, absorbing the intimate thrum between them. West paused, hand sliding to the back of Josh’s head, holding him there. They breathed in and out, gentle breezes swirling lavender fronds.
Josh’s shirt came off, then everything else.
Gently, they arranged themselves on the blanket, side by side, legs locked, noses pressed together. Josh skated his palm over West’s hip, up his back. He clamped West’s nape. Arousal had them hard, but all that mattered was the sad look in West’s eyes. The desperate way West clutched him back.
“West?”
“Kiss me, Josh.”
Not Mr Fairfax this time.
Josh’s heart thumped and he curled tight against West, resting his fingers against West’s pulse. Drumming, just like his. Josh’s breath shuddered and he pressed his lips lightly to the bow of West’s. Warm and citrusy and comfortable.
Their noses grazed and bumped as their tongues locked in a languid kiss, a kiss Josh didn’t ever want to stop.
He rolled onto his back, urging West with him, hooking a leg around his hip, keeping him close. Their pricks rubbed; he held back a moan and softened their kiss.
“You’re trembling,” West murmured. “You want more.”
Josh looked into those soulful eyes. “I do want more.”
A softer murmur, “Let me take care of you?”
West’s tongue delved intimately between his lips. Intense. Needy. Josh shook. “Please. Please, West, I . . .” West felt for the lube and slippery fingers butted against Josh’s entrance.
Josh moaned and West drank it in, breaching him gently, a half inch, a teasing rub of his ring. Shivers swept through him and he gripped West’s shoulders.
They’d fallen into bed at first meet and had so much fun exploring each other, finding release. But this careful touch, this caress, made his chest burst with butterflies. This soft probing into him, West’s gentle kisses . . .
It made him shy.
The slick sound as West rolled the condom on . . . Josh flushed.
He slammed his eyes shut. “West . . .”
The sweetest kiss dragged over his lips, across his jaw. “I want . . .” Hot breath tickled his ear. “When you’re gone, I want you to remember this.”
Josh opened his eyes, catching West’s gaze as he pulled back and positioned himself. Josh’s insides scrambled, a dizzying rush. He squeezed himself and stroked, like it would help to ground him, make sense of the swirling anticipation and . . . and hope.
West pushed into him slowly, mouth parting on a silent groan. The stretch was a glorious burn and Josh pulled him close, urging him deeper.
“Made for me,” West murmured, rocking gently.
Josh whimpered, met West’s next thrust, lifted his head for another kiss. West slid into him, gliding over his most sensitive spot, and the wave swelled and swelled.
It was unhurried, tender. It made his toes curl. The blanket bunched under him, grass rubbed under one shoulder and tickled his arm, warm breezes rushed between their sweating bodies.
He loved that West seemed surprised how good it was, every time he pushed into him. Every sound, Josh wanted to devour and elicit to devour again. West sucked on his tongue, bit lightly at his ear, gasped at his throat.
His tempo increased and each buck made Josh’s prick jump, moved him closer to the edge.
Josh wrapped his legs around him, moaning.
A slippery hand cuffed his prick and Josh groaned at the slick intensity—
His orgasm overwhelmed him. He came, arse clenching around West, who stilled, gasping, pulsing inside him.
West collapsed and Josh wrapped his arms around him, keeping him close, relishing the feel of their chests pushing together as they caught their breath. Their eyes connected softly. West pressed a kiss to his cheek, his chin, his nose, and finally his mouth.
Josh smiled, and West did too.
He sighed when West slipped out, and West kissed him, eyelashes brushing against his temple.
He sighed again, and West chuckled. A vibration that plunged straight through to Josh’s heart.
This . . .
This . . .
Josh shut his eyes as West tenderly cleaned them up.
He’d miss this when it was gone.
“Josh? Are you all right?”
Josh sat up, curling his arms around his knees. The soft way West looked at him, could he . . . “You believe me about that recording, I hope?”
His fingers dug into his thighs.
West carefully wrapped the used condom in the cloth and set it aside. He didn’t look at Josh. “I believe you.”
“So why . . .”
“I want us to be compatible.”
West raised his head, dark, glistening eyes pinning to him.
“Are you saying what I hope you’re saying?” Josh murmured, heart hammering. “Because I can’t tell my lies from truth either.”
West’s chest expanded. “This feels real. I want it to be.”
Josh sucked in a whistling breath. A husky whisper. “Beyond this weekend?”
“Way beyond this weekend.”
West wrapped a hand behind his head and drew him close, eyes pinging over his face like he was committing the moment to memory. Wonder filled his eyes and it raced through Josh in a ticklish shiver. “My family don’t know about me. I’m not—”
Josh kissed him and pulled back. “How you handle that is up to you. Just let me help you if I can?”
West closed his eyes and his lips tipped up. “We’ll need to figure out the logistics.”
“It’s a forty-minute drive here. I can offer free lectures in return for staying in your room at night.”