A knot forms in my stomach at the very sight of what I’ve done to her. No matter what she says, I know she’ll feel that for days. I can’t be here. I can’t stay. When she wakes up, I should be gone, sparing her the goodbyes and niceties of the morning after.
She promised me a dinner and a thank-you, and I gave her more than she bargained for. I roll off the bed, grabbing my clothes from the floor, and quickly get dressed. I move quietly, careful not to wake her, and I look back one last time, memorizing the outline of her body and the dip of her hips against the mattress.
“Perfection,” I whisper to myself before slipping out of her bedroom, suddenly feeling as if I can’t breathe.
As soon as I’m outside the apartment, I turn my face up into the sunshine and take a deep breath, moving toward my bike at double speed.
She deserves more. She deserves better.
I keep repeating those words, forcing myself forward until I’m on my bike and on the road, leaving Rosie Gallo where she belongs…in the past.
“You’re a dumbass.”
I glare at Ian over my pint of beer. “No shit, genius. I never should’ve slept with her.”
He leans over, one elbow on the bar, towel over his shoulder. “That’s not why you’re a dumbass.”
I drink down half the glass before taking a breath and putting the scowl back on my face. “Care to explain, brother?”
“You’re a dumbass because you ran away like a giant pansy.”
I growl as I put my boots on the rungs of the stool, trying not to launch my body over the counter at him. “It wasn’t because I’m a pansy, asshole. She deserves better.”
“Better than what?”
“Better than someone as damaged as me—or you, for that matter. We’re all fucked up. Dad did a number on us, and a woman like her doesn’t deserve to have that kind of shit in her life.”
Ian reaches up, extends his arm, and smacks me in the face, shocking me. “I’m not Dad, and you’re not Dad. After all these years, you’re still going to let him fuck up your life? The man’s buried, and that’s where you should leave the shit he did to us too. Like I said, you’re a dumbass.”
“Did you fucking hit me?” I ask, my brows furrowed and blinking in confusion.
“Yeah, man. But did you hear what I said to you?”
“I can’t believe you fucking hit me.”
“Keep doing and saying stupid shit, and I’ll do it again, but harder next time.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You want a black eye?”
“Wouldn’t be my first,” he says with a shrug. “Sure it won’t be my last. And would you really hit a guy with cancer?” He gives me a pouty face and puppy-dog eyes, knowing right where to stick his dagger.
“Asshole,” I mutter because he knows my answer.
“See, you’re not the bad guy you make yourself out to be.”
“Shut up.”
He gives me a smug grin. “Was the girl mad at you after you fucked her?”
“No, and her name is Rosie.”
“Whatever.” He rolls his eyes, pushing back his strawberry-blond hair that had fallen over his forehead. “Did she complain when you were giving her those bruises by fucking her silly?”
“No,” I growl again.
“You ever leave marks on any other women?”
“Of course. Some women like it rougher than others. You know how it goes. Sometimes shit gets out of control.”
He dips his chin, tilting his head to the side. “Out of control like last night.”
I don’t respond, but I stew in my own bullshit instead.
“Shit happens, brother, but you fucked up, running out of there with your dick in your hand and not so much as a goodbye.”
“Fuck,” I groan, going back to my beer instead of talking to my brother and his cocky, know-it-all attitude.
“I know Rosie from the bar. She comes in here with her sister and cousins sometimes. I listen to their conversations. She’s a good one. She’s sweet and not as wild as the others. She may be too good for you… I take that back, she is too good for you, but that wasn’t your call to make. It should’ve been hers.”
A hand clamps down on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze. “Hey,” a mildly familiar voice says as I turn, taking in the man from the auto shop.
Shit. He’s Rosie’s cousin by marriage, not by blood, but still her cousin.
“Heyyy,” I say, drawing out the word and ignoring the sinking feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Hey, Ian.” The guy tips his chin toward my brother. “Beer, please.”
“Mammoth,” Ian greets him before reaching under the bar and retrieving a bottle from the cooler.
I stare at him for a minute, remembering it’s Sunday and there’s a family dinner I was invited to that started hours ago.
Mammoth isn’t looking at me as he takes the beer from the bar top as soon as my brother sets it down. The silence is thick, and the air around me changes.
“So…” he says but doesn’t go any further.
Fuck my life.
“So,” I repeat before sipping my beer, trying to do something…anything instead of talking to him.
He turns slowly on the stool, the beer in his hand, staring at my profile. “Anything you want to say to me?”
“Nope,” I say against the rim of my glass and not looking him in the eye.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Yep,” I snap.
“Then why is there a woman sitting by her grandmother’s pool crying her eyes out right now?”
“I don’t know, man.”
“You don’t know?”
“I don’t know,” I repeat.
“Pansy,” Ian mutters.
“You look at your phone all day?”
I shake my head.
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t knock your ass off that stool right now.”
I turn, looking him in the eye, man-to-man. “She’s better off without me.”
“Don’t disagree with that.” His eyes narrow. “But you sleep with her and leave her without as much as a goodbye like she’s a piece of a road ass?”
I flex my fingers around the beer glass, grinding my teeth as I stare back at him. “She’s not road ass. That’s the thing. She deserves better than I can offer. Tell me I’m wrong.”
He lifts his chin with a slight nod. “Can’t disagree, but she should’ve been part of that decision-making process. Shit,” he mutters, shaking his head. “‘Thanks for the fuck’ along with a goodbye would’ve been a nice touch, at least.”
“How many women did you thank?” I ask him, putting him on the spot.
I don’t give two shits about pissing him off more. He’s already mad enough, and whatever chance I had at getting a job at his shop exploded the moment I walked out Rosie’s door. I have nothing to lose now.
“Not the point. We’re not talking about women in general. We’re talking about a Gallo. I don’t care how you treat anyone else, but Rosie’s different.”