“We done?” I ask him, throwing his glare right back at him. “Shit’s in the past. Better that I hurt her feelings now than put her through so much more pain in the future.”
“You’re a real dipshit,” he mutters, slamming his beer on top of the bar as he climbs to his feet. “No one who’s with a Gallo is worthy of them in the beginning, not even me. But that’s the thing about them. They make you want to be better…do better. And they can give a fuck what you did in your past. It’s the present and future that matter. You threw away what could’ve been the best thing in your life.”
“Thanks for the pep talk,” I tell him, turning back around on my stool to face the line of liquor bottles behind the bar. “I think you have somewhere you’re supposed to be.”
He leans over, shadowing me in darkness. “If you don’t go to her and beg for her forgiveness and love, this is one mistake that’ll haunt you forever—more than anything that has followed you from your past.”
“Whatever,” I mumble, lifting my beer to my lips and pretending his words don’t have an impact. “Duly noted.”
“Dumb fuck,” Mammoth mutters before stalking off.
“Well, way to piss off the entire clan,” Ian says, putting himself in my line of sight. “That man doesn’t say much, but when he does…” Ian shakes his head. “He’s protective of the women in that family. Hell, all the men are. You’re lucky you still have your teeth in that pretty little face of yours after that talk.”
I shrug. “What’s done is done, and no amount of intimidation is going to change that.”
“He wasn’t intimidating you. He was clueing you the fuck in and trying to make you realize the enormity of the mistake you’re making.”
“What the fuck do you care?” I snap, pushing my beer forward and tossing some bills next to the glass. “Get the fuck out of here with the fake bullshit that you give a damn what happens in my life.”
“Dylan,” Ian calls as I stalk toward the exit. “Wait.”
But I don’t.
My feet never stop moving until I’m on my bike, hitting the open road and leaving everything behind. I don’t need the hassle from my brother or a stranger. What I do in my life is my decision and no one else’s.
I was only looking for a good time, but things got personal in a hurry. Rosie’s grandparents are as kind as she is, and I have no doubt the rest of the family is too, even her father, who I always thought was an asshole.
She deserves a guy who knows what family means and how to behave. He clearly isn’t me and never can be.
My brothers and I practically grew up feral, and while I learned manners and respect after I left home, I still don’t have the knowledge to pull from not to let the shit from my childhood bleed in.
I’ve never had to worry about anyone else except myself. I’ve never worried about who I hurt or how they felt. I’ve worried about myself and myself alone. But with Rosie, I want to keep her safe, and that would require keeping her as far away from me as possible, even if I want her goodness in my life more than anything. I’d sacrifice my wants for her needs any day, no matter the pain I inflict on myself in the process.
17
ROSIE
“How’d it go?” Tamara asks Mammoth, her husband, as he stalks back onto the lanai after taking off.
“Message was delivered.” He sits down, grabs her hand, and kisses the top of it. “Ball’s in his court.”
“What message?” I ask, looking between them as the lump in my throat rises. “And who is he?”
“No one, baby,” Tamara answers, but she doesn’t do it while meeting my eyes like she normally would.
“Who did you go talk to?” I ask again, and this time, my voice is louder.
“You know where I went,” Mammoth tells me, and unlike his wife, he stares at me, and there’s emotion gleaming in his eyes.
I gasp. “You did not go talk to Dylan.” I cover my face, shaking my head. “Oh God. Please tell me you did not go talk to him.”
“Fucker hurt you,” Mammoth growls. “Of course I went to have a few words with him. I ain’t going to sit by and…”
I move my hands off my face and hold one up to him. “One, it’s not your business.”
“Became mine when you were out here crying.”
I glare at him, the knot in my stomach turning into rage. “That doesn’t make it your problem. Ever hear of fuckin’ listening?”
Tamara laughs, covering her face to hide her amusement, but I’m not sure if it’s at my statement or his clear inability not to take his own action. “Not his strongest skill,” she says. “I’m sorry, Ro. He’s protective.”
I point a finger at her, waving it around, before I push back my chair. “He can be protective of you. You’re his woman. I’m not his woman. I’m a cousin.”
I climb to my feet, looking at everyone sitting in the circle. “I don’t sit out here, spilling my guts and sharing my feelings, for people to take matters into their own hands. Every damn stubborn man in this family needs to stop. We’re not helpless creatures. We aren’t frail and in need of your protection. Our dads—and moms, for that matter—taught us how to take care of ourselves. We don’t need men to march away to save the day every time something a little shitty happens to us. I didn’t see any of you grabbing your sword and shield when the last guy broke my heart.”
“Sword and shield?” Pike, my brother-in-law, asks my sister Gigi because he’s confused.
Shocker. God, I love the men my cousins and sister married, but damn, they are a clueless bunch sometimes.
“She’s talking about white knight shit,” Gigi explains. “You all do it.”
“God,” I groan, lifting my face toward the sky for a moment before looking around the table. “Just because you have a dick between your legs doesn’t mean you’re the savior of all womankind. Stick to worrying about your own women, and leave the rest of us alone.”
“Rosie,” Mammoth says, and his voice is sweet when he says my name. That’s the thing about Mammoth. He’s one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet, but if you didn’t know him, you’d probably shit your pants if he were heading your way. “Come on now.”
“Come on now?” I ask, tilting my head and blinking. “Want to expound upon that, Shakespeare?”
“You’re like a little sister to me.”
“If I were your little sister, I would’ve socked you in the eye for doing that shit.”
“Fuckin’ women,” he mutters next, not alleviating my anger at all. “You want the fairy tale, which always includes a guy who saves you and looks out for you, but then when you get it—”
Tamara smacks his arm. “Pick your words carefully.”
He grumbles and swings his gaze back my way. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” I snap. “From now on, my love life is off-limits. If I share, I share, but that doesn’t give any of you the right to talk to someone as if you’re my keeper. Got it?”